The Lion & The Narcissist leads readers through a gripping personal journey of emotional manipulation, psychological trauma, spiritual resilience, and, ultimately, self-liberation. Why was this an important book for you to write?

This book was definitely more of a calling than a plan.  I can’t say that I  planned to write the book.  I literally just began writing.  It began with journaling just to make sense of “my narcissist’s lies”.  When people say the lies are crazy making they are absolutely, 100%, unequivocally correct. Narcissists engage in the highest level of deception which robs their victims of reality.  The first part of my life I had to regain control of was my very sense of reality and the only way to do that was by writing everything down.   For me personally, writing also became an integral part of managing my medical treatments and navigating the legal system. Few people know that it was through researching and writing I was equipping myself to be my own advocate in systems poorly equipped to help victims of narcissistic abuse. No one was able to help me understand what I had just experienced and few people were interested in holding my abuser accountable. Everyone just wanted to give me a band-aid and tell me “I would be ok”.  Most of all writing this book supported my healing by helping me identify and label what I had experienced and why. Researching miraculously led me to resources that could actually help me.   I also believe writing this book gave me the courage to hold my abuser accountable without backing down in fear.  The more I learned about the tactics narcissists use and the effects this nefarious form of abuse had on innocent people the more passionate I became about making some kind of change.  These wicked individuals must be held accountable and people had to be warned that they exist. The best part was it did not end there for me.  I was compelled to seek deeper meaning in it all and that is what led me to the most important book ever written…..the Bible.  I am certain the entire process was God’s call on my life to seek Him, find Him and surrender to Him.  While my experience is something I don’t wish anyone to endure, I would not trade in the person I have become having survived, trusting the Lord was beside me every step of the way.  I would never trade my relationship with Jesus Christ for anything in the world.  Writing my book led me to Him and has given me a testimony to teach about His goodness and mercy.

What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?

This is a really hard question to answer.  Hindsight, reading my book years after writing it, I think the most important idea to share is just how difficult it is for a victim of narcissistic abuse to explain it to others. Narcissists are so incredibly cunning, malicious and depraved that our very human nature makes it hard to believe they exist.  The reality is not just that narcissists not only exist but they are a real manifestation of evil masquerading themselves as good and ordinary people.  Even I learned over the years we can’t tell people what a narcissist or narcissistic abuse is, we have to show them so they can identify it for what it is.  Equip them with hard truths.  By nature I don’t think people want to believe evil exists in our own relationships and/or families. By avoiding the truth we open ourselves up to dangers allowing it to destroy us.  I think the most important idea I could have shared by writing the book is the effects such behaviors can have on our lives and warn others of the detriment allowing and tolerating abuse is to our lives: physically, mentally and spiritually.

What is a common misconception you feel people have about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?

I have two very strong opinions on this.  The number one misconception I feel some people have about narcissistic personality disorder is that the narcissist will or can change. This is probably the most dangerous misconception out there.  As a Christian, this is difficult to reconcile because we know God can do all things and His arm is not too short to save anyone.  The understanding I have come to believe is narcissists are reprobate minds.  Hallmark traits of NPD are pride, arrogance and the sense of entitlement traits that point to self adoration in the narcissist rather than a love for God.  NPDs also lack self-reflection and accountability, making them resistant to both repentance and calling on God to save them.  Statiscally, narcissists do not change.  Believing they will only prolong the abuse the victim does not deserve.  This misconception can cost someone their life.  The second misconception I feel about NPD is labeling it a mental illness.  NPD is a personality disorder which differs greatly from mental illnesses that can be treated.  I believe personality disorders are a spiritual disease, a state of the person’s soul.   A reprobate mind is a person who chooses to live in perpetual sin having little, if any desire to please God. Narcissists, like psychopaths and sociopaths live corrupt and extremely selfish lives.  Sin and corruption have become justified and acceptable in people who have NPD.  Sadly, reprobate minds are people whom God ultimately rejects and has left to their own devices. Standing firm in hard truths God has revealed in His word, it is my opinion NPD is a clear manifestation of evil in our world.

What is one thing that you hope readers take away from your book?

I hope that after reading my book readers can walk away with a clear understanding of what narcissistic personality disorder is, identify a toxic relationship and understand the dangers of being in relationships with narcissists.  Ideally I hope that educating others on the topic prevents people from entering into relationships with dangerous personalities by helping them identify red flags and run.,,,,,fast and far! Sadly there are many who are currently in relationships with people who are causing them harm.  For those people I hope my book helps them to understand they are not alone, they are not to blame and they are not helpless.  There is no shame having fallen for someone who didn’t reveal their true nature in the beginning.  That is what predators do. There is no shame in not having seen the red flags.  There is no shame for having tolerated some of the things we have tolerated out of the kindness in our own hearts. But now is the time for you, the reader, to Get Up and say enough is enough. It is time for you to Stand Up knowing that you are a son or daughter of the King who created you to be loved.  His promises are true and He will take you by the hand and never stop fighting for you.  It is not going to be easy but  you will come to the other side.