Talk Human to Me shows cybersecurity professionals how to turn sound recommendations into action by understanding colleagues’ pressures, building trust, and making the next decision easier. What motivated you to write this book?

After more than a decade in cybersecurity, I realized experience alone wouldn’t create my next opportunity. I had to explain why the work mattered and connect with the person across the table, and nobody had taught me how. I learned it the slow way, through ignored emails, recommendations that were technically correct but strategically ignored, and a lot of nights on comedy stages. This book is me reaching back to that stuck version of myself, and to every security professional who knows their stuff but can’t get people to care. I wrote it the way I ask them to show up for colleagues: meet people where they are, skip the lecture, and give them something they can use on a busy day.

How do you decide when to adapt a security request to someone’s competing priorities and when to challenge those priorities?

I start by listening for the last-mile obstacle, and I listen for whether they’re describing a situation or describing people. Say someone tells me, “My boss just doesn’t get it, and I can’t get anyone to actually help me.” I don’t argue with that. I label it back: “It sounds like you’re not getting the right support or resources.” That isn’t challenging their priorities, it’s naming them. This is why I listen before I tell. People hand you the language that matters to them, and your job is to say it back correctly. When you label it right, everyone can agree on what the security question actually is. I’m always ready to adapt, but the most important piece is labeling the real obstacle in the last mile, so I know I’m solving the right problem.

Which of your communication missteps most changed how you invite colleagues to help shape a security solution, and what changed afterward?

I once sent a CTO a four-page email laying out every control gap I’d found, and I never heard back. Later I saw his calendar, back-to-back meetings all day, and realized I was one of many requests competing for his attention. Having a good idea didn’t make it his most important idea. Now I show up in service mode, asking how I can make things easier instead of telling people what we need. I learn what they’re already working on first, and I give them a bounded ask: here’s what done looks like, and then security gets out of your way.

What would you want readers to test in their own workplaces when evaluating your arguments about fear, training, and behavior?

Run small experiments, and for each one, focus on the outcome. Take whatever you need people to do and deliver it from two positions. The first is your own: “Everyone has to implement this control because it’s mandated, and we’ll report you to your boss if you don’t.” The second invites people in. Then ask what behavior you actually wanted. Say you tell everyone to read the AI policy, and all they had to do was click “yes, I agree.” Now you have a behavior gap. People don’t know how to use the thing, and they never felt invited into the conversation. From a compliance and fear standpoint it looks like a win, but you didn’t change behavior. Then you wonder why users don’t get it. They don’t get it because you never engaged them. You did it your way.

Author Links: GoodReads | talkhumanbook.com | stevenasifo.com