Unpacking: A Memoir shares your story of how you came from a small town in Wisconsin to become one of the most respected script consultants in Hollywood and provides a gentle guide for those trying to live intentionally, especially creatives, seekers, and those who feel like they’re still figuring it out. 

What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?

The Idea that is probably the most central in my book, Unpacking, is the question and the answer to: “How many people and events does it take to make you who you are?” The memoir is not chronological but is a thematic exploration on the who, what and the how of relationships and adventures that were key crises and struggles and joys in my life. Some were negative but many of them were positive. The negative ones tested my mettle and I tried to say “Yes” to the good things that beckoned to me, in spite of having to go beyond my comfort zone.

The other idea that travels throughout my book is about a girl from a very small town who yearned for more than my little town had to offer me – and ended up being  influential in the film industry, creating a career that I adored, traveling the world, and meeting many people who were wonderful and a few who were scoundrels. 

What was the most challenging part of writing your memoir, and what was the most rewarding?

The most challenging part for me was the commitment to tell the truth and to unpack some of the episodes in my life that confused me or hurt me or brought me great joy. This meant that I made a decision to change the names of some of the people in my life in order for me to find the truth and to be willing to state it in all its emotional complexity. Probably only a handful of people who know me well will know who I am really talking about. I don’t think I denigrated any of the people I write about, but I did explore the many layers that can happen in relationships and if I had used somebody’s name, they would not be happy and it wouldn’t be fair since I’m only talking about my side of the story.

I  found it quite rewarding to look at relationships and events in my life and recognize what a very rewarding and rich life I had. I reached far beyond my dreams, and realized all those difficulties were worth it. And I recognized I made good decisions, even when they were difficult such as disengaging from my first husband and even disengaging from some friendships and facing the reality that not every relationship has to be lifelong. And I discovered qualities in myself that I had not really affirmed much before – such as courage and persistence and integrity.

What advice do you have for aspiring memoir writers?

For any aspiring writer of a memoir, I would advise to make a commitment to telling the truth about your life which might mean owning your faults and mistakes, as well as celebrating your triumphs. Truth is hard to get to and if a memoir author is writing a book for the first time, they will discover the realities of writing. This means recognizing it’s a discipline so you put aside time to write. Generally every chapter I write has gone through 10 rewrites before I think it’s good enough and that I have captured what I felt was the truth of these episodes. Don’t take the frustrations too seriously because they are simply part of the process. Don’t expect it to go fast. And don’t get concerned when you feel like throwing it in the fireplace. That just means it needs more rewriting and thinking about how to get beyond the facts. And call in allies to give you good honest feedback and support when you need it.