Remains of Silence recounts the turbulence of growing up in a dysfunctional and abusive family with instability and neglect, weaving together vignettes of fear, longing, and survival. Why was this an important book for you to write?

As the title reflects, it was important to me to step out of silence and say it so, as it is so. While I have stopped being silent for many years already, it was important to me to speak of what I have made of the silence since. These are the remains. My current life in which I have transformed myself from one who had no choice but to keep silent, to one who was able to heal the loss, damage and stolen youth. It was a form of therapy in which I was able to release all that was still clinging onto dark corners of my subconscious. In the end, it allowed me to truly close the door on being a victim and embrace victory.

What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?

Simply sharing the truth. It is said that the truth sets you free. I can testify that it truly does. In my youth a fear of what people may think or say was hammered into us all. But I was able to break free from that and prove that raw honesty links with surrender. And through surrender we lighten the load. And by lightening the load, we set ourselves free to be who we came to be in the first place. Free of disease and thriving at being the best versions of ourselves.

What was the most challenging part of writing your memoir, and what was the most rewarding?

The most challenging was to write part observer and part participant. One of the major challenges I had to overcome in my adulthood is falling back onto being a victim. And writing the memoir tempted me at time to do just that. But the most rewarding part was the awareness of that and the ability to separate the wounded child from the wise adult. The former easily prone to victimhood. The former mature enough to know the difference between passive helplessness and choice. As the writing progressed, it became clear that the mature adult was in charge as the one who finally broke free. And whenever the child wanted pity from the world, I was able to listen and steer it back to my current self. Awakened and wise.

What do you hope is one thing readers take away from your story?

For those who are suffering in similar situations, I hope to prove that it is indeed possible to stand your own ground, to claim yourself back from those who take it from you at an early age when you do not have the tools yet to defend yourself and protect your being from harm. For those who had troubled childhoods and still battle the demons and consequences of it, I hope to be an example of choice. In every moment we have choice and it is only when we fall back into old patterns that we suffer. When we choose differently, we rise again. And finally, to those simply reading with compassion and curiosity, I hope to inspire gratitude for what they have, their ’normal’ upbringings and the privileges they take for granted. As Thomas Anderson, Editor in Chief of Literary Titan wrote himself about the memoir “I found myself reflecting on my own assumptions about strength, silence, and what it really means to survive when survival has become second nature.” If only the reader would reflect on that, I would be more than content at the impact of my memoir.

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