Mother’s Ruin is a brutally honest and heartbreaking memoir that shares with readers your tumultuous childhood and early adulthood life as you coped with the effects of your mother’s alcoholism and emotional instability. Why was this an important book for you to write?

Definitely for my own healing and for that of those facing similar circumstances. My mother’s addiction and untimely passing have long since overshadowed me, and I needed to share my story to achieve full emotional freedom from this. 

Despite what the stigma may have you believe, addiction is a trauma-response and never a choice. Nobody wakes up one morning and decides to pick up a bottle of alcohol or similar, and this was something that I was desperate to convey through my writing.

How did you decide what to include and leave out in your memoir?

This was something that I struggled with: the fine line between oversharing and undersharing. I wanted my writing to be rich and emotive, but to also not read like a personal diary, and I hope that I have achieved this. 

I do believe that having already outlined my second memoir at the time also helped in choosing what to include (alongside endless rounds of editing, of course!). 

What was the most challenging part of writing your memoir, and what was the most rewarding?

The flashbacks and the fear of being perceived were equally challenging. Long-suppressed memories were suddenly boiling to the surface, and not only did I have to address and write about these, but I also had to learn to do so in a safe, controlled and healthy manner, without reverting to previous toxic coping mechanisms.

Though my mum may not have been my protector, I have spent my life believing that I should be hers. With this in mind, I was worried that people would believe that I was villainising her in some way, when this could not be further from the truth. 

That said, Mum may well have been poorly, but this is no justification for her actions, and I am tired of living a life enshrouded in secrets and lies to protect a collective. 

The most rewarding aspect has definitely been the feedback that I have received. Though it pains me to know how many people can relate to my story, I am also proud of and thankful for those who have reached out to me whilst on their own healing journeys. 

What do you hope is one thing readers take away from your story?

That healing from trauma may be painful, messy, and never linear, but it is always possible. 

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