Beyond the Politics of Contempt explores how ordinary Americans can move from division to dignity, offering a compassionate roadmap for healing relationships, communities, and democracy itself. Why was this an important book for you to write?

We wanted to write the book now given how much division we have in our country. Large numbers of us are fearful and untrusting of others, and many have lost hope in our democratic republic. We wish to transform this politics of fear and contempt into the politics of hope, and build a national culture of kindness, dignity, and respect.  At one level, we offer practical solutions for readers who want to heal their relationships with their estranged relatives, neighbors, and friends, and in the process, strengthen their mental health. At another level, through collective action, we can strengthen our communities and nation.

You describe dignity as a “muscle” we’ve forgotten how to use. What daily practices help people strengthen it again?

For many of us, an important first step is getting in touch with our values. We have an entire chapter devoted to identifying our values, and then examining these values in relation to how we feel about others who support politicians we don’t approve of. Owning the disconnect is key to strengthening our muscle of treating others with differing political views with dignity. From there, some engage in a daily physical workshop, or a regular mindfulness meditation practice, or a frequent detox from social media “doomscrolling.” Then, we are ready to tackle conversations on issues we disagree with, becoming curious and humble toward others. We like to say “Be curious, not furious.”

In your research and experience, what’s the most common obstacle that prevents people from having “braver conversations”?

In our experience, there are several obstacles. It may be the fear that others won’t respond positively to our reaching out- -that they will not be heard by “the other side.” Sometimes it’s “Why should I reach out? They created the mess.” Interestingly, sometimes it’s our own side that presents the biggest obstacle – “How can you talk to those people?” We don’t want to alienate our tribes so we stay siloed in our echo chambers.

What gives you hope right now that America can move beyond contempt, and what signs of healing do you see emerging?

Americans are increasingly realizing that we are being manipulated by conflict entrepreneurs, a term describing forces that serve to profit or gain power from sowing division. These include some media outlets, tech companies, some politicians, and foreign powers.  Americans don’t want to be taken advantage of – -we believe we are better than this. As we become more aware of the conflict entrepreneurs, our hope is that more of us will see the importance of uniting across differences, not to agree, but to treat each other with respect. We are heartened by the increased membership of Americans in groups such as Braver Angels that promote courageous citizenship, including the skills of engaging in healthy conflict rather than an “us” vs “them” mentality.

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