Hold On for Dear Life follows three MIT friends who turn a crypto idea into a company and are forced to live with the consequences of their success. What was the inspiration for the setup of your story?

The inspiration was something I witnessed and something I felt myself.

I spent twenty-five years in institutional finance, with the last decade inside the digital asset and blockchain world. I was in the rooms during the 2017 crypto boom. The ICO pitches and launches, the treasury meetings, the conference stages, the conversations that happened when the market stopped agreeing with you. I looked at the situation from a different angle than these founders because I had market experience.

The thing that stayed with me that no article or non-fiction account ever captured correctly was the idealism. These were not grifters or speculators. It wasn’t about getting rich quick for the true founders. They were people who believed, with real conviction, that they were changing how money works. And they were right about the technology. They were people who had looked at a financial system and wanted it focused on people, not institutions. The system that charges a week’s worth of groceries to send money across a border, and they said, “we can fix this”. The belief was genuine. The mission was real.

What they hadn’t reckoned with was the cost of being right in a world that was moving much faster than anyone’s wisdom could keep pace with.

What the novel is actually about is what happens to people who believe something genuinely important when the world gives them more success than they were ready for. The gap between the conviction and the capacity to hold it is where the interesting human material lives. I needed fiction to tell that story. No other form could get inside it the way a novel can.

Charlie, Jack, and Nik each represent very different strengths. How did these characters develop?

Before I outlined the storyline, I developed the characters — because they are the story. The plot is what happens to them. The characters are what the book is about.

I started with three relationships to ambition because I had observed three distinct versions of it in the real world.

There is the ambition that is genuinely mission-driven. That wants to build something true and is vulnerable to the world that surrounds the building. The person who believes so completely in what they are creating that they don’t see the version of themselves being slowly shaped by the world, the mission requires them to inhabit.

There is the ambition that is architectural. That is Precise, invisible, load-bearing, and deeply personal about what it will and won’t sacrifice. The person who builds the thing that makes everything else work and pays the price of that in ways nobody around them fully sees.

And there is the ambition that is performed. That has learned to be the most compelling person in every room and has, over time, confused the performance for the self.

Charlie began as the mission. Jack began as the architecture. Nik began as the energy. And together they made the kind of team that can raise thirty million dollars in a single night because you need all three. You need the person who means it, the person who builds it, and the person who makes the world believe in it.

The novel is the story of what each of those strengths costs. The price tag. Charlie’s mission makes him vulnerable to visibility. Jack’s precision makes her carry things in silence. Nik’s performance makes him, eventually, unable to find himself underneath it.

I started with three strengths. The story arrived when I started asking what each strength was quietly destroying.

What role does fear play in shaping the founders’ decisions once the company becomes successful?

The specific fear I was most interested in writing is the kind that arrives with success rather than before it.

Before the ICO launch, the fears are obvious. Will it work? Will anyone believe in it? Will the technology hold? Those fears are clean and navigable. They have a shape.

The fears that arrive after success are stranger. They are the fears of people who have gotten what they wanted and are now terrified of losing it or of being revealed as somehow unworthy of it. And those fears do not announce themselves as fear. They arrive dressed as decision-making.

Nik’s 3 AM trade is the clearest example. He is not greedy. He is afraid of being the person in the room who failed to find the shortcut that everyone assumed he would find. So he calls the trade a hedge. He calls it runway. He calls it responsible treasury management. And in the specific logic of 3 AM, it is all of those things.

He sleeps fine afterward. That is the most frightening detail in the book. Because it tells you how completely the fear has disguised itself as certainty.

Charlie’s fear operates differently. It comes more slowly, more quietly, more insidiously. He is afraid of losing the thing he believes in most, which is the mission. And the way that fear manifests is in the opposite of what you might expect. Instead of protecting the mission, he starts protecting the version of himself that the world has built around the mission. The panels, the press, and the conference stages are not vanity. They are Charlie’s attempt to stay close to the thing he cares about. But the version of Charlie that the world is rewarding is not quite the version that wrote the whitepaper’s first line. The fear of acknowledging that gap of looking directly at the distance between who he was and who he is becoming is what keeps him from correcting it.

Jack’s fear is the most interior and the most precisely controlled. She is afraid of exactly one thing, of losing what they already have, and she manages that fear with a discipline so complete that she has turned it into a virtue. The not-actionable file. The thirty seconds in the bathroom. The voice that does not waver. All of it is fear, managed with extraordinary precision. The novel asks whether that precision is wisdom or avoidance. I genuinely do not know the answer. I think both things are true simultaneously.

What I hoped to do with all three of them is show that the fears that matter most in this story are not the fears before success. They are the fears that success creates. The fear of being exposed as unworthy. The fear of losing the self that started the thing. The fear of saying out loud the thing that might change everything. Those are the fears that make the decisions. And those are the fears that none of them at the time would have called fear at all.

What is the next book you are working on, and when will it be available?

My first book, published with Wiley, From Hoodies to Suits: Innovating Digital Assets for Traditional Finance is available. It is a non-fiction industry primer. I’m excited for the idea of my next novel, which hasn’t come to me yet.

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