Hi, Honey! A Dementia Diary is an intimate diary that follows you through hospice, family upheaval, and the aftermath of your mother’s death as you discover that love keeps finding new forms long after goodbye. Why was this an important book for you to write?

​I didn’t even know I was writing a book when I started penning these letters to my mother. With my mom unable to read my work anymore, I lost my way in the writing world. The letters were all that I could manage. It wasn’t until we’d lost her that I realized there was a book in those letters and that my experience with dementia, grief and all that they the loss of a parent entails could be helpful to others.

How did writing about dementia and grief so candidly change the way you processed your mother’s death?​

I was not proceessing my mother’s death at all prior to putting these letters into book form. It was really interesting as I thought the simplicity of writing letters was enough (and it truly is a helpful coping mechanism) but it wasn’t until I actually went back through and read them all that I really and finally broke down. I think we all slip into a fog when surrounded by death as our brains try to protect us. I documented that fog and was able to revisit thoughts that I had long forgotten.

The book finds meaning in ordinary objects like gift cards, quilts, urns, and a phone that no longer rings. Which object or ritual became most important to you while writing?​

Because I was writing letters to my mom in real time, as she declined and then died, the act itself was incredibly important. I had talked with my mom daily for decades and to lose that even as she was still alive was devastating. Once I starting writing letters to her, I was able to (poorly) substitute those letters where our phone calls use to sit. “Talking to my mom” became a different event in my life but writing enabled those conversations to continue.

What do you hope readers who are caring for a declining parent feel when they finish the book?​

I would like reader to recognize that the most consistent thing about grief is how inconsistent it is. There truly is no handbook for grief. It is exhuasting and debilitating yet we all try to hide it from those around us. We shouldn’t hide it at all.

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