In The Book of Oded, Chapter 2, you share with readers your most personal moments from love and loss to spiritual acceptance. Why was this an important book for you to write? 

Why was this an important book to write, or why did I need to share my story? Well, when I first started writing this story, I didn’t actually feel a need to share it. I was working as an animator in a big Hollywood studio, and I felt like something was missing. After a few weekly meetings with a life coach, who was also my friend, I realized that what was missing from my life was ‘creativity.’ Being creative. I was working 12-hour days with a 2-hour commute each day, so when I’d get home, I was already too tired to do anything. My coach suggested writing. I had written a little when I was younger, but nothing serious, and so when I sat down to write, I still really didn’t know what to write about. I had a notebook and a pen, and I sat by my desk and stared at the blank page. A few moments passed, and suddenly, I picked up the pen and started writing. I wrote one sentence and stopped. I had no idea where that came from, but I knew EXACTLY what I was writing about. In the next few months, as I was writing the story, I was sure I was writing it for myself and myself only. I didn’t even share it with my husband of, then, 20 years. 

Cut to about 4 years later. At the request of my acting teacher, I brought my unfinished story to class, and I was ready to read about 5 minutes of it and discuss the topic of one-actor-shows. 

I was convinced that what I wrote wouldn’t resonate with anyone in class. Not just because there were very few openly gay students there, but also because, as my thoughts were telling me, “Who’s gonna want to hear about your troubles and issues? They probably have some of their own…” But I did it anyway. I stepped up to the stage, sat down, and started reading. I read and read until I finished all that I had written so far. I looked up. The class was still, and someone shouted: “And then? What happened next?”  Apparently, I was reading for about 20 minutes, and I had everyone closely following me, and they, obviously, were finding my writing interesting.

This was my first discovery that what I wrote, as a personal and unique story, was indeed touching and resonating with others. 

Cut again to about 2 years later. My husband and I produced my one-man-show with the story that, by then, was finished and polished into performable material. The show ran in a small theater in Hollywood for 9 weeks, had great reviews, and above all, showed me, again and again, how universal and relatable it was, even with a diverse and eclectic audience.

I understood that my story, more than changing me, has the power to help and improve the lives of others. I also realized that I cannot keep performing it because, emotionally, it was too hard. Time passed, and about 10 years after the show was over, the idea of making a book out of it came up. Somewhat ironic, since the name of the show is “The Book of Oded”… 

So why did I need to share my story? Because I know that learning about what others have been through, what they were thinking, and how they got over the challenges in their lives, helps them with their own difficult life situations. As the viewers or readers resonate with the story, bridges and connections are being created, communities become more powerful, and the feeling that we are all closer, more than we think, becomes stronger.

I appreciated the candid nature with which you share your story. What was the most difficult part for you to write?

The difficult part of writing the book, since I was writing about real-life experiences and challenges that I went through, was reliving some of these events. Some that I, unknowingly, hid deep inside, trying not to have to deal with again. As I was writing and remembering or sometimes realizing new facts about what and why I acted the way I did, it was challenging to face that. At the same time, I found it cathartic, and I felt relieved that I could come to terms with those emotions.

What advice would you give someone who is considering writing their own memoir?

When I was writing what eventually became my book, I was not aiming to write a book, or a memoir, or anything specific. I was just following an inner urge to write. To spill onto the page a story that wanted to be revealed. I listened to that urge, and I answered it. Since then, I do my best to write in the same way. I don’t want to push anything, to force anything. I write with a flow that comes naturally. Recently, I started writing fiction, and I am not saying, “I’m writing a book.” I’m just writing. I’m giving myself the space and the ease of not knowing until I know. That is my advice. Write with ease. Enjoy the process. 

Be kind to yourself. 

What is one thing you hope your readers take away from The Book of Oded, Chapter 2?

I hope something they read in my book touches their heart. What I mean by that is simple: something that makes them feel. It can be anger, sorrow, hope, any kind of feeling. I believe that our feelings are like a compass, helping us navigate through life. If anything makes us feel, and we pay attention to it, we get to take some steps on our life path and get more clarity about our life goals and life purpose. 

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