A Caregiver’s Love Story and Reference Guide is your memoir about not only caring for your dying husband but the life you had together. Why was this an important book for you to write?

I thought it was important to tell the reader what life as a caregiver was like. At some point in our lives, we will all be caregivers of some sort. My story is not unlike others, but I write things down so I can get it out of my head, and that way I can slow down and still be a loving wife instead of fussing about what I had to do to keep things running smoothly for Bill’s care. My writing, I hope will help others get through the experience of caring for someone and also losing them in the end.

I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?

A lot of it was very sad to write, but not hard. and the final diagnosis and time frame given by the doctor for Bill’s life was breathtaking to say the least. We always knew that I would outlive him, but when the medical team tells you your loved has only a given amount of time to live, it takes on new meaning. Bill was given 2 to 4 years to live and passed away after 3 years.

I didn’t shed a tear while writing this book, but if I try and read a chapter out loud, I just can’t do it without sobbing. Bill passed away a month ago and now the reality of his illness and dying have come home. The busyness of caring for him made the days go by so fast that time just slipped away.

Grief is supposed to be the purest form of love. It hurts! Your heart hurts so bad you wonder how it continues to beat. One must learn to live with it and continue their life as well. It is part of growing older and I wanted people to know all we went through to keep Bill alive for as long as possible, so they know if they are going through the same thing that the feelings they are experiencing are normal. It was the most loving thing I could do for Bill.

What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?

Caring for yourself as well as your loved one is essential in surviving the daily work of living life to the fullest while caring for someone. The day-to-day work of cooking, cleaning, shopping and being a caregiver can take over your very existence. You are in charge of your life as well as your loved one and both of you need equal care and love.

What do you hope is one thing readers take away from your story?

Caregiving will be the hardest job you will ever have. Everything you need to know is in your heart. You just need to look there for the answers. Loving and caring for someone go hand in hand. Keeping the scrapbook of your lives together in your heart will sustain you through the very difficult end to your loved one’s life.

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