“…but that’s not me.”: Changing the Story of Interpersonal Abuse is a compelling and insightful self-help book that sheds light on the complexities of abusive relationships. It challenges conventional perceptions of abuse, revealing that it extends far beyond physical violence. Through the powerful testimonies of domestic abuse survivors and authors Erika Shalene Hull and Dr. Cheryl LeJewell Jackson, the book underscores a universal truth, at the heart of every abusive dynamic lies an imbalance of power. By sharing their personal experiences, Erika and Cheryl have created a practical guide to recognizing, addressing, and, when necessary, escaping abusive relationships.

One of the book’s greatest strengths is its seamless integration of raw and deeply personal stories with psychological insights and precise definitions of various forms of abuse. Erika and Cheryl’s narratives captivate, weaving a tapestry of pain, resilience, and ultimate empowerment. Erika’s harrowing account of financial exploitation, her husband siphoning money to fuel his addictions while she was pregnant with their third child, is particularly haunting. The contrast between the relationship dynamics she observed growing up and those she later endured as an adult highlights a chilling reality: abuse is often normalized before it is recognized.

Cheryl’s experience, shaped by different social circumstances, mirrors Erika’s. Both women initially rationalized and excused the mistreatment they suffered. This universal tendency to downplay or justify abuse is one of the book’s most thought-provoking themes. Many readers will likely see echoes of their own experiences or those of loved ones, reinforcing the importance of recognizing and addressing abusive patterns before they escalate.

This book serves as a crucial tool for identifying the often-overlooked red flags of psychological, financial, and emotional abuse. While the focus remains on domestic violence within romantic relationships, the authors emphasize that abuse knows no gender and can manifest in various interpersonal dynamics. The message is particularly urgent for women, who are often conditioned to overlook or rationalize coercive control in non-physical forms.

I highly recommend …but that’s not me. to anyone seeking a deeper understanding of the psychology behind both abusers and survivors. It is an essential read for those looking to safeguard themselves from toxic relationships, as well as for professionals and individuals passionate about psychology and mental health. Be prepared to feel educated, enraged, heartbroken, and ultimately inspired.

Pages: 456 | ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0BGJPQHD7