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I Needed To Get It Out
Wiser Now: Lessons Learned from an Ill-advised Relationship shares with readers the circumstances that led you into a turbulent romantic relationship and what you did to leave that situation and embark on your own journey of self-discovery. Why was this an important book for you to write?
One of my friends put it best; I needed to get it out of my system. I won’t say that I remain traumatized; I am not. Writing it down, most of what I could remember, that is, allowed me to properly analyze the reasons I made such an egregious error of judgment. That is, I made a huge mistake in going on a second date at all. Then I compounded the damage by refusing to back away from the entire relationship even after I recognized what a colossal failure it was.
I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?
The greatest challenge overall was admitting my lack of discernment, however, mentioning private moments between me and my ex was painful. Some components of a marriage are not for public conversation. However, in this case, I felt it was necessary to share the variety of ways I was manipulated and controlled, some of which violated my conscience, my sense of modesty, and my faith.
What is one piece of advice you wish someone had given you when you were younger?
Good question, but I don’t think anyone could have said anything that would have changed my actions unless they had caught me with my ex on the first date and taken me aside for a “What the heck?” session. After that, I was too embarrassed to admit I had made a mistake. Hopefully, other women are not reluctant to see what is in front of them and take action to mitigate the damage.
What is one thing you hope readers take away from your story?
When getting to know someone, especially as a prospective partner, pay attention to how that person acts around your friends and his when you are present. If his actions/faith/priorities do not line up with yours in large part, back away.
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Gayle is cash-strapped, lonely, and becoming desperate when she answers a personal ad in the local newspaper. During the short courtship with Jake, Gayle sees differences in their respective lifestyles and values but sets her concerns aside. During their two-year relationship, she has to deal with a controlling spouse, infidelity, emotional abuse, and encounters with alcohol-fueled rage.
Wiser Now is a cautionary tale that should hit home with any individual who has made—or is making—relationship mistakes, as well as friends and family who are concerned about a loved one who is walking a dangerous path, allowing their emotions to overcome rational decision-making.
Wiser Now
Wiser Now: Lessons Learned from an Ill-advised Relationship by Gayle G. Curtin is a candid memoir that delves into the complexities of a turbulent romantic relationship. Curtin begins by sharing her deep-seated loneliness, which led her to a series of disappointing dates. This emotional backdrop sets the stage for her eventual response to a seemingly charming newspaper dating advertisement. Despite an initial lack of attraction and numerous red flags, Curtin decides to pursue a relationship with Jake, leading to a troubled courtship and a tumultuous marriage characterized by fleeting moments of happiness.
Set between 1986 and 1988, Curtin’s narrative serves as a poignant reflection on the perils of seeking companionship without heed to warning signs. Her honesty offers a powerful lesson in self-awareness and the dangers of entering relationships under the heavy cloud of loneliness. Curtin’s writing is vivid and immersive, effectively drawing readers into her world with clear descriptions and structured storytelling. The memoir is thoughtfully segmented, allowing readers to easily navigate through the various phases of her relationship. However, a notable omission in her recollection is the specific incident that catalyzed her decision to leave the relationship. While this could be attributed to the psychological mechanism of blocking out traumatic memories, its absence is felt in the narrative’s overall impact.
Wiser Now is a moving exploration of personal growth and the journey toward self-realization. Curtin’s story acts as a cautionary tale, emphasizing the importance of understanding one’s emotional needs and being mindful of the potential consequences of seeking companionship in a state of vulnerability.
Pages: 50
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