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Manifesting the Impossible
In The Dressing Drink, you share both the memories and challenges of growing up with a mother born of high society and an absent father. Why was this an important book for you to write?
My mother passed away when I was 11, and I met my father at 14. He died when I was 15. Because I never really knew my parents, I felt it was important to explore their scrapbook, memorabilia, and the stories of personalities from show business and friends. This process was essential for me to create a mythology around them and to gain a better understanding of who they were for my mental health, especially at the age of 22.
I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?
The most challenging perspective I faced was that of a lost child. I lived a wild life, mostly in boarding schools. It never felt like I was lost; I simply moved from one situation to another, either happy or high. It wasn’t until I entered rehab that I had a conversation with my inner child, who looked up at me and said, “You tried to kill me.”
Did you learn anything about yourself while planning and writing this book?
Everything I have done in my life feels like “manifesting the impossible.” Even the journey of writing and compiling this book seemed like an unrealistic goal from the outside. Therefore, it’s a significant accomplishment to document my mother’s life, my father’s life, my family’s life, and parts of my own life. The five books that emerged from this effort are just a small glimpse into the larger story of my life.
What is one thing you hope readers take away from your experiences?
Certainly, the concept of being a survivor is about transcending survival to reach recovery. If we are honest, we are all in the process of recovery, whether we acknowledge it or not. I have been sober for 26 years and consider that borrowed time. Writing the book at 22 and publishing it at 68 is a lifelong compilation of my experiences.
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From the grand estates of old money to the memoir, which spans decades and explores themes of money, power, alcohol, deceit, death, war, and murder, Thomas King Flagg navigates a complex labyrinth while pulling up the roots of his family tree with all its glory and devastation.
Thomas King Flagg is the great-grandson of David Hazlitt King Jr., renowned for his significant contributions to the assembly of the Statue of Liberty. Flagg’s mother was a debutante and a radio personality who graced the cover of Cosmopolitan Magazine. At the same time, his father was a dancer and comedian who starred in several theatrical productions and some movies. He also starred on Broadway with Ethel Merman in Hello Dolly. Unfortunately, Thomas did not reconnect with his father until shortly before his death, missing out on a connection that could have profoundly influenced his life.
Once you begin reading The Dressing Drink, you won’t be able to stop until you’ve savored every last drop!
The Dressing Drink
The Dressing Drink tells the story of family, privilege, and damage dressed up in elegance. Thomas King Flagg weaves a memoir that feels both intimate and theatrical. At its heart is Dorothy Mary Flagg, a woman of society who lived with glamour, wit, and excess, yet was haunted by control, loneliness, and the weight of expectations. The book drifts through memories and family stories, some imagined and some painfully real, all tied together by the strange ritual of the “dressing drink,” a symbol of escape, courage, and self-deception.
I found myself pulled in by the writing. It is vivid, almost cinematic, with scenes that sparkle and sting at the same time. At points, I felt like I was in the room, watching Dorothy Mary pin orchids to her dress or sip champagne in secret. The language is playful yet sharp, laced with irony, and it never shies away from showing the cruelty that lives under polished surfaces. The details are lush, but I admired the author’s willingness to let the prose wander because it made the book feel alive, unpredictable, and oddly intoxicating.
What hit me hardest was the emotional undercurrent. There’s a quiet sadness that runs beneath the sparkle, a sense of people trapped in roles they never chose. Dorothy Mary is magnetic, but also tragic. I felt frustrated by her choices and yet sympathetic to her hunger for freedom. The book stirred something raw in me. It made me think of how often family history gets polished into legend, while underneath lies pain and secrecy. I liked how Flagg leaned into that tension instead of smoothing it out.
The Dressing Drink is both a spectacle and a confession. I would recommend it to readers who enjoy memoirs that feel like novels, who want to be dazzled and unsettled at the same time. It’s layered, indulgent, and sometimes heavy with sorrow. But for those willing to step into its tent, it offers a haunting show that I’m sure you will think about for a while.
Pages: 382 | ASIN : B0FDBNJW8G
LITERARY TITAN 