Cristina Matta’s Pairs: This Dating Site Will Be the Death of You is a fast-paced, offbeat murder mystery wrapped in biting satire and stuffed with eccentricity. Set in the humid chaos of Tampa, Florida, the book follows Detective Ned Jenkins as he investigates the bizarre death of Susan LaFont—a woman who apparently invited seven peculiar men from a friendship-dating app called Pairs to the local aquarium, only to end up murdered. What unfolds is a series of sharply written vignettes of these suspects, each more absurd and hilarious than the last. There’s a man wearing Batman stickers on his face, another eating endless pizza, one with a monkey, and even a guy whose profile picture is Barbie and Ken mid-coitus. Matta doesn’t just describe characters, she roasts them alive and lets them squirm in their own weirdness.

Matta’s writing is clever and self-aware. She leans hard into absurdity without tipping over into chaos, and that’s no easy feat. Her voice is confident, wickedly observant, and full of snark. The structure is tight—each chapter feels like a miniature sketch comedy piece, but it all ties back to the central mystery. Detective Ned is gruff and jaded but utterly relatable, especially as he navigates an increasingly ridiculous sea of suspects and reconsiders his own past missteps. I found myself both enjoying the mystery and savoring the wry commentary on modern dating, loneliness, and how deeply strange people can be when left to their own devices.

The story’s comedy can sometimes swallow its stakes. There were moments when I wanted more depth, more emotion, something raw. The victim, Susan, remains a bit of a mystery herself, not just in the whodunit sense but emotionally. And while I adored the wild suspects, a few felt more like clever caricatures than real people. Still, maybe that’s the point. The book is unapologetically satirical. It’s not here to hold your hand through a touching drama, it’s here to slap your face with a fish and then dare you not to laugh.

Pairs: This Dating Site Will Be the Death of You is sharp, funny, and refreshingly weird. It’s a great read for fans of Carl Hiaasen, readers who enjoy a twist on classic detective stories, or anyone who’s ever been baffled by online dating profiles. If you like your mysteries with more laughs than laments, and your characters with quirks dialed up to eleven, this book’s for you.

Pages: 67 | ASIN : B0F4SRWMB3