Little Bear and the Big Hole follows a young bear struggling with his grief over the loss of his father, who sees his absence as a literal hole—vast, lonely, and invisible to others until a friend shows up and helps him process his pain. Why was this an important book for you to write for children?

I was 35 when my husband died – not a child, but at a time in my life when I knew no one like me.  It felt like everyone else my age was in the blossoming of life – new marriages, having children, having fun, etc. and I was at an end of some kind.  I didn’t know anyone like me – a widow in her mid-30s – and it felt very isolating.  This feeling, that your world has stopped while everyone else’s around you is still joyfully spinning, made me feel so terribly alone on top of all the other heavy feelings of grief. Also, I found that most people (unless very, very close friends or family) tended to avoid talking with me about grief because I think they just didn’t know how to, which made them feel uncomfortable. Children are also at an age/life stage where it is less common to experience a profound loss, so they would very likely encounter this feeling of isolation as well.  When I learned that 1 in 12 children will suffer the loss of a parent or sibling by the age of 18 I was astounded, and I wanted to write a book that would help them feel that they are not alone, that their feelings are normal and that grief will eventually transform into healing.  I also wanted the book to show others how to be a friend to someone who is grieving.  

The artwork in your story brings the concepts to life so that children can visualize Little Bear’s emotions. What was the collaboration process like with Mirjam Siim?

My publisher does not allow direct communication between the writer and the illustrator, but they did allow me to communicate through an art director due to the sensitive nature of this book.  One of the main points of discussion was the concept of the hole, as it was very important to me that the hole appear, at least in the beginning, like it was boundless.  I knew that if we didn’t get the hole right, the concept would fall flat, and I think Mirjam did a beautiful job depicting the hole and all of the big emotions in the book.  Interestingly, I have since commissioned Mirjam to do the artwork for my website (so fantastic!) and a few other projects.  She is a joy to work with and so very talented!

What was the most challenging part of writing Little Bear and the Big Hole?

There were so many things I wanted to convey in this book and I think the hardest part was making only the choices necessary for this story.  I had to tell myself that there are so many facets of grief, and my one story cannot address them all.  Even if it did (this would be a very long book), it would lessen the impact.

What do you hope is one thing readers take away from your story?

You are not alone.

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