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Unexpected Changes
Loss Fuels A Life centers around a classic music critic whose life is upended when his best friend, a sex worker and tech whiz, is found dead in what is deemed a suicide. What was the inspiration for the setup of your story?
2001 was a prophetic year in my life. The expected, but unbelievably painful, death of my 19-year-old son unexpectedly caused me to change careers and become a writer. In the early days, it was mostly performing arts and film reviews. Writing Loss Fuels a Life, in fact, fuelled my own existence in multiple unexpected ways.
Many of the relationships in the novel revolve around exchange — money, desire, security. What drew you to exploring those dynamics?
Having come out in 1989, my relationships also took many unexpected changes. Fortunately, having support and understanding from my ex-wife (so much better once the initial shock wore off) and beautiful daughter. Making such an enormous change in me (affecting all of those in my circle) turned everything from work, to gradually discovering that my long-hidden desires weren’t evil, but transitory. Both financial and emotional security were at stake, but, looking back, I could only wonder, “What took you so long?”
Was there a particular scene that came to you first and anchored the rest of the narrative?
Perhaps the most pivotal moment comes as Ivan recalls his cheeks-reddening surprise when Rye kisses him out of the blue, only to realize—years later—that his pushed-away enjoyment of those brief few seconds of intimacy was far more than he could, at the time, admit to himself.
What is the next book you are working on, and when will it be available?
The working title is Perfect, hopefully out in a couple of years. Much faster than Loss Fuels a Life, which took 20!
Author Links: GoodReads | Facebook | Website | Amazon
Ivan Dorn is a thirtysomething freelance arts writer who travels the world, reviewing and interviewing a variety of artistic productions and personalities. Returning home to Toronto from an Asian assignment, his world collapses when he discovers his best friend, Rye, brutally murdered. Immediately, Ivan sets out on a quest to track down and punish the killer—regardless of the personal cost to him. But the closer Ivan gets to meting out justice, the closer he gets to unmasking himself. He is not the man he thought he was, and it takes Rye’s sudden death to cause the critic to finally confront himself.
Interspersed throughout the narrative are concert reviews, the filming of erotic scenes, and amateur sleuthing, all woven together to create a tale that twists and turns down unexpected paths. Loss Fuels a Life is a provocative and emotionally charged novel intended for mature readers, offering an unflinching exploration of passion, grief, and self-discovery.
Loss Fuels a Life
Loss Fuels a Life is a queer erotic crime novel that follows Ivan Dorn, a globe-trotting classical music critic, whose life is ripped apart when his best friend Rye, a Toronto tech whiz and sex worker, is found dead in what looks like a kinky suicide gone wrong. As Ivan digs into Rye’s emails, videos, and clients, he discovers footage that points to murder and to “Upstairs Daddy,” a wealthy older benefactor named Harold, whose world stretches from a Palm Springs gay resort to a sleazy film set in Los Angeles. Around them orbit hustler turned actor Andreas, Harry’s bitter daughter Melissa, and a whole ecosystem of critics, festival insiders, and sex partners, all tangled up in money, desire, and lies. The book moves between Toronto apartments, desert pools, and casting couches, and builds toward a bloody, messy finale where attempts at revenge leave more than one body on the floor and no one walks away clean.
I was pulled along by the sheer energy of the writing. The style is lurid, breathless, and very visual. Scenes of sex, murder, and concert halls all get the same close-up treatment, and that gives the book a strange, nervy power. I liked how S. James Wegg uses the structure of emails, reviews, and camera footage to shift point of view and to keep dropping new information. The explicit scenes come early and often, and a few times I caught myself wanting more space to sit with what the characters are feeling in the aftermath. When the book slows down and lets Ivan grieve or scheme instead of just react, it really lands for me. Those quieter stretches in Toronto or in an empty hotel room hit harder than yet another trip to the lube drawer.
What I liked most were the ideas behind all the sweat and violence. The novel digs into power and dependency in queer relationships in a way that feels blunt and uncomfortable. Rye trades submission for rent and a sense of safety, Harry trades money for youth and denial, Andreas trades his body for access and leverage, and Melissa treats everyone around her as a threat to her inheritance. Loss sits in the middle of all that, not just Rye’s death but also Melissa’s dead mother, Harry’s health, Ivan’s illusions about his own sexuality and about his best friend. The title feels dead on. Grief becomes fuel for art, and also for obsession, bad choices, and finally murder. I liked that the book refuses to give me a neat moral. Ivan’s revenge is clumsy and cruel, and the story does not pretend that righteous anger automatically leads to justice.
I see Loss Fuels a Life as a bold, messy, very specific ride. The pages are full of graphic sex, BDSM, sexual violence, homophobia, substance abuse, and a detailed suffocation scene, so readers who are sensitive to those topics will want to steer clear. If you enjoy dark, character-driven stories about queer lives that sit at the crossroads of art, money, and desire, and you are comfortable with explicit content that never really lets up, this novel will probably get its hooks into you.
Pages: 248 | ASIN : B0G341Y3PX
