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Isolation vs. Connection
The Wake of Expectations is a raw, poetic unraveling of self in a world where dreams, disillusionment, and the pressure to perform collide. What was the inspiration for the setup of your story?
I’m totally Gen X and that rawness of self-expression—that disillusionment, too—that’s a function of my generation, a by-product of our obsession with authenticity. We were probably the first generation told we could be anything we wanted to be, but we were largely left to figure things out on our own. That contradiction creates an inevitable gap between expectation and reality.
On a more personal level, I’m a huge Kevin Smith fan. I remember him talking about not seeing his friends or his world represented on film, so he decided to make it himself. And that was mostly the impetus for writing this book: a desire to see our version of reality represented somewhere—to create something of artistic permanence to stake our claim that we were here, too. Honestly, I would rather have made a movie or a TV series, but writing a book was just more practical.
Are there any emotions or memories from your own life that you put into your character’s life?
Pretty much everything in my main character’s life is rooted in emotions or memories from my own. The story is fiction, but it’s emotionally true. Like Calvin, I wanted to be a musician. I had a girlfriend who dumped me when she went away to college. I had differences with my parents. But more than anything, I wanted to capture the longing, the frustration, the impatience—the alienation in that process of becoming. That feeling of champing at the bit, staring at a world of possibility, but being unable to get out of the starting blocks. It’s personal, but it’s also generational. Ironically, I never really felt part of my cohort, but that’s exactly what made me representative of it. I tried to capture that paradox in the book.
What were some themes that were important for you to explore in this book?
I wanted to ask questions more than present answers: What do you do when your dreams come true but don’t live up to the hype? Is it wrong to want something you can’t have? Is it sometimes better not to get what you want? And how do you become the person you’re meant to be when you don’t even know who that is yet?
A recurring theme is the desire to be fully seen—but never quite achieving it, even among people who clearly love you. That’s a major part of Calvin’s disillusionment. At his core, he’s searching for connection on his terms, not anyone else’s—and that proves elusive. He’s caught in this constant push-pull: authenticity with isolation vs. connection with compromise. And again, I think that tension is a very Gen X dilemma.
What is the next book that you are working on, and when can your fans expect it to be out?
The next book is A Pleasant Fiction: A Novelistic Memoir, and it releases on July 1—just a month after Wake (June 3). It follows the same group of characters 25 years later, and the proximity in release dates is no accident. A Pleasant Fiction is a follow-up, but not exactly a sequel. It’s a very different book—slower, more meditative—and it reframes everything in the first book. Wake is a complete work on its own, but A Pleasant Fiction is essential reading if you want to fully understand it.
I actually wrote the first draft of Wake over 20 years ago. So that book carries the reflections of a 30-year-old looking back on his twenties. The next one captures a 50-year-old grappling with the challenges of middle age. Together, they form a diptych—a two-panel meditation on the passage of time, told authentically from opposite ends of the timeline. It’s more of a dialogue than a sequence, tracing the coming-of-age through the unbecoming of middle age.
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He’s just been accepted into his dream college, and his parents have won the lottery. But instead of celebrating, he finds himself drifting further from the people he loves and the future he imagined.
Set in a time before smartphones, when connection meant looking across the table instead of into a screen, The Wake of Expectations is a funny, heartfelt, and deeply human exploration of dreams deferred and dreams derailed, the courage to choose your own path, and the transformative power of love, friendship and self-discovery.
A raunchy, Gen X coming-of-age story brimming with 1990s nostalgia, The Wake of Expectations follows Calvin on an unflinching, deeply immersive journey that blends edgy humor with serious introspection, offering a biting look at the messiness of growing up. Through Calvin’s sharp, often self-deprecating lens, the novel presents a cast of richly drawn, complex characters and relationships worthy of deep literary analysis.
Mature themes and adult humor are woven throughout, so reader discretion is advised.
My Bully, My Aunt, & Her Final Gift
Harold Phifer’s My Bully, My Aunt, and Her Final Gift is an unfiltered, brutally honest reflection on his tumultuous relationship with Aunt Kathy, an overbearing, larger-than-life figure who left an undeniable mark on his life. The book weaves between past and present, recounting stories of trauma, manipulation, and resilience. Through humor, raw emotion, and biting wit, Phifer paints a vivid picture of a childhood filled with contradictions and his aunt’s relentless bullying juxtaposed with her unwavering Christian devotion. It all comes to a head when he’s called upon to eulogize the very woman who tormented him, forcing him to reckon with a past that never really let him go.
Phifer’s storytelling is electric. His words don’t tiptoe around the truth; they stomp in, slam doors, and demand attention. The book kicks off with a scene in war-torn Afghanistan, setting the stage for a life lived in extremes. Right away, his descriptions pull you into the chaotic streets, the noise, and the unpredictability of a place far removed from his Mississippi roots. And yet, it’s Aunt Kathy’s death that rattles him most. The way he describes her resilience, having “survived assaults, coronaries, fevers, famines, plagues, pandemics, strokes, and global warming for almost 100 years,” is equal parts hilarious and horrifying. You can’t help but laugh, even as you sense the deep scars she left behind.
What makes this book stand out is Phifer’s ability to balance pain with humor. He doesn’t just tell you that Aunt Kathy was overbearing; he shows you through her actions. Whether it’s her religious fanaticism, her disdain for the very people she claimed to serve, or the way she manipulated family dynamics, her presence looms large on every page. And yet, he finds absurdity in the tragedy. Take, for example, the moment when the pastor calls to inform him of her death. Phifer’s initial reaction isn’t grief; it’s disbelief that Aunt Kathy’s indestructible force is finally gone. That kind of honesty is what makes the book so compelling. It’s not sugarcoated. It’s not polished for the sake of sentimentality. It’s real.
Beyond the humor and sharp commentary, the book carries a deep emotional weight. Phifer doesn’t just recount his struggles; he confronts them. The tension with his brothers, the absence of genuine familial support, and the impact of generational trauma are all laid bare. The scenes leading up to Aunt Kathy’s funeral are particularly powerful. His struggle to reconcile his feelings, the absurdity of having to publicly praise someone who made his life miserable, and the chaotic nature of the funeral itself feel almost cinematic. He captures the dysfunction of family dynamics with an unflinching eye, making the book as much about survival as it is about storytelling.
My Bully, My Aunt, and Her Final Gift is for readers who appreciate memoirs that don’t shy away from the messiness of life. If you enjoy books with dark humor, raw honesty, and a narrator who tells it like it is, this one’s for you. It’s a wild, emotional, often hilarious ride through the complexities of family, faith, and finding peace in unexpected places. Phifer doesn’t ask for sympathy. He just lays it all out and lets the reader decide what to take from it. And in doing so, he’s crafted a memoir that lingers long after the last page.
Pages: 139 | ASIN : B0DVV8PJY1
Enduring Friendship
The Blue Mask follows a lead singer and lead guitarist who grapples with addiction, loss, and the unpredictable highs and lows of stardom. What was the inspiration for the setup of your story?
I wanted to explore another world that I have not lived in. That’s one of the things about fiction that I love – the ability to get lost in a world you would perhaps never experience. I wanted to deal with the 90s and the lack of social media, smartphones, and instant information. That time period was easier in many ways than now, when everyone can find out almost anything and so much is permanently on file, so to speak. The AIDS epidemic was also raging – at a time when having AIDS was 100% fatal. As well, I wanted to explore the rock stardom angle – where the public perception is not always the same as the private perception of people. And of course, the cost of being a rock star – the compromises that must be made, the price of fame, and the dark side of being in the spotlight.
What character did you enjoy writing for? Was there one that was more challenging to write for?
I enjoyed writing them all – Alix and Joel especially, as they have such an incredibly close relationship. Both were a challenge. I found Alix was more problematic as she has demons that she fights privately and does not often share. Both of them have had past traumas that have affected their current behaviour. The British characters were an absolute delight and a lot of fun. The rest of the band and Ash, Robin, and Brad were also demanding. As this book contains a lot of characters, one of the issues was maintaining their identities within the sub-stories and by-plays. There are a lot of voices in The Blue Mask.
What were some themes that were important for you to explore in this book?
The AIDS epidemic was important, especially the attitude towards AIDS patients at that time. There were a lot of misconceptions and many suffered from more than just the disease – the shunning, the lack of acceptance and compassion, and the ignorance surrounding the disease and those who had it. I also wanted to explore the cost of achieving your dreams. No one warned the band how high that would be, which is often the case with musicians, actors, artists, etc when they first start out. There is always the initial push, the pursuit of exposure and popularity, and the need for acceptance. Once achieved at high levels, privacy becomes a rare thing. My main theme, however, was the enduring friendship between these characters and the fact that they treated each other as family. There was never a question that they would not support each other, being there through thick and thin.
What is the next book that you are working on, and when will it be published?
The Blue Mask is actually the third book in a trilogy. Both book 1 (The Alley View) and book 2 (The Blue Angel) have been written but I need to do more research as the trilogy begins in 1985. My intention was to start on book 1 after The Blue Mask was published. Characters, however, are wild cards and have minds of their own. The characters in The Blue Mask decided that they weren’t finished yet, so I began a new write this year with book 4 (The Beat Goes On) to complete the series. It picks up where The Blue Mask ends. I have completed the first draft and am working on rewrites. If all goes well, it should be out later in 2025. Then I will return to book 1 – The Alley View, which brings the characters together and covers the formation of the band and its first year.
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Drugs, sex and rock and roll—that was the name of the game for hard rock musicians like the Blue Mask. Founded by singer Alix Lane and lead guitarist Joel Stark in 1985, they lived the anthem. A year later both the band and their drummer were dead. 1988 saw a new Blue Mask, cleaned up, regrouped and touring. It is now 1990. AIDS is still an epidemic for both hetero- and homosexuals. Social media is not a thing. Or smartphones. Or the age of unlimited information. But it is the year of the Blue Mask. Dreams do come true, and their star ascends with international fame and success. Nothing can go wrong for Alix and Joel’s band and their close circle of friends. Until it does. But this group has only each other to rely on and they will survive tragedy. This is their story.
LITERARY TITAN 