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A Beacon to Hope and Success
Sparent is a series of personal essays recounting the heartbreak and joy you have experienced within your blended family. Why was this an important book for you to write?
I am passionate about protecting the blended family as, through my experience, I have learned how important it is to keep blended families whole. My blended family was created via a second marriage after divorce. I experienced, first-hand, the effects of the divorce trauma that my stepchildren and husband carried into our blended family. I started journaliing for my own mental health as I pledged to do whatever I could to keep our blended family together and break that cycle of divorce. My hope is that my experiences help those blended families folllowing in our footsteps. This is a family-type with very few helpful resources – I hope that my book provides a beacon to hope and success for those navigating these challenging waters.
I appreciated the candid nature with which you share your story. What was the most difficult thing for you to write about?
I’m not a huge fan of disclosing my failures, but those are the most important stories I can tell. I thought that being a stepmother would be simple. It was a disaster – the first real failure I’d had in my life. Of course that is not something I want the world to know but I understand how important it is to hear. Women are often tasked with putting on a perfect appearance. It is terrifying to tell the world that I wasn’t perfect, that many of my family’s struggles pointed back to me, and that I often felt like giving up but I know these stories are the ones that will be most helpful to others.
How did you decide what to include in your memoir?
Sparent is the first book in a series that will follow my family for several years. It was born from those first journal entries I made when I needed an outlet for my frustrations and feelings of inadequacy. I’ve included every journal entry from the year 2019, though I seriously considered removing some of the more difficult ones. There have been some tweaks to add more details but Sparent is really a direct look into my life.
What is one thing you hope readers take away from Sparent?
That depends on the reader. For blended families, I hope they see themselves in my words and find solutions to any difficulties they are having. For those in tradtional families, I hope they gain appreciation for the challenges of the blended family and become more willing to chat about those challenges with those they might know experiencing them. It is so important that we all stick together and serve as a source of comfort as we all want the same thing: a happy family.
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I am the Sparent.
I am the extra parent that no child wants in their lives.
I will always be the Sparent.
It is a role that I have come to embrace.
A role that I am proud to hold.
A position in which I thrive.
Spare or not, I am exactly where I belong.
“As we were sitting in our third therapy appointment in three days (well, four if you count physical therapy to alleviate the neck pain from banging my head into the wall), I thought, “Oh my god…who has three therapists?!” Not us. Three would just be a start.”
Sparent, by Jyl Barlow, is filled with the true tales of life in a blended family. Through laughter and tears, Sparent offers insight and wisdom that is easily applied to all types of families. Jyl is best known for giggling at inappropriate times, something she carries into her writing. As a humorist, Jyl’s writing has been compared to Erma Bombeck’s. As a stepmother, she’s been compared to . . . well, that’s not important.
“Jyl’s wit and wisdom left me feeling seen, heard, and understood. She is both honest and hilarious in guiding others through the beautiful chaos of the blended family.” – Toni G, Raising His Kids Podcast
Sparent is the much-anticipated follow-up to Jyl’s award-winning memoir, What to Expect When You Weren’t Expecting (Parenting Tales from the Most Unqualified Stepmom Ever).
Sparent
Jyl CJ Barlow’s Sparent is a raw, heartfelt, and often hilarious dive into the messy, beautiful, and sometimes maddening world of step-parenting. Through a series of personal essays, Barlow recounts her experiences navigating blended family life, sometimes thriving and sometimes barely surviving. She shares the joys, the heartbreaks, the frustrations, and the small victories that come with being a “Sparent” (a spare parent). It’s a book full of love, vulnerability, and biting humor, making it a refreshingly honest take on modern family dynamics.
One of the things I loved most about Sparent was its unfiltered honesty. Barlow doesn’t sugarcoat anything. She talks openly about feeling like the “extra” parent, the one easily dismissed or overlooked. In the prologue, she bluntly states, “I am the Sparent. I am the extra parent that no child wants in their life.” That kind of truth hits hard, and throughout the book, she explores what it means to claim a space in a child’s life when biology isn’t on your side. There’s an emotional depth here that sneaks up on you. One moment, you’re laughing at her struggles with a moody teenager; the next, you’re tearing up as she describes the quiet heartbreak of waiting to be seen and valued.
Another standout aspect of the book is Barlow’s humor. She has this incredible way of turning even the most frustrating situations into laugh-out-loud moments. In “Summer Camp”, she perfectly captures the exhaustion of dealing with a teenage boy, lamenting how her once-snuggly sidekick has morphed into a surly, towering, hormonally-charged force of nature. “I love this boy. I will hunt you down if you hurt him. But good grief, how am I going to survive five more years of this?” That’s the magic of her writing, as she makes the chaos of parenting feel so relatable, even if you’re not a stepparent. If you’ve ever dealt with a teenager, you’ll recognize yourself in these pages.
But the book isn’t just humor, it’s also deeply introspective. In “Letting Her Fail,” Barlow recounts the agonizing decision to let her stepdaughter, Amelia, face the consequences of her own choices instead of swooping in to fix everything. She writes, “We have to let her fail,” Rich repeated. This was torture. The struggle of stepping back, of allowing a child to stumble so they can learn, is one of the most challenging parts of parenting. Barlow’s willingness to admit her doubts, fears, and occasional missteps makes her story all the more powerful.
Sparent is more than just a book about step-parenting; instead, it’s a book about love in all its complicated, imperfect glory. It’s about showing up, even when you’re not sure you’re wanted. It’s about finding joy in the chaos and laughing when you’d rather cry. It’s about realizing that love isn’t about biology; it’s about presence, patience, and persistence. If you’re a step-parent, you’ll feel seen. If you’re a parent, you’ll nod along. If you’re someone who loves a complicated, heartfelt story with plenty of humor, this one’s for you.
Pages: 128 | ASIN : B0DTVSJPLQ
LITERARY TITAN 