In Falling from Disgrace, you share with readers the complexities of growing up in the Mormon faith and your experiences with forced conformity. What inspired you to share your story?

To be perfectly honest, initially I was inspired by an urge to expose, particularly the sexism, of what is otherwise glossed over as a “squeaky clean” community. Social rejection leaves a lasting sting, one that I perceived as unfair. As the project unfolded, inspiration increasingly came from readers and peers with whom the narrative unexpectedly resonated: people struggling with gender or sexual identity, people estranged from their families for a variety of reasons, people pushed out of other oppressive religious communities, and even people with deep religious faith who found the story worthy of reflection. The more I received feedback that the tale had universal appeal, the more my inspiration shifted from achieving personal satisfaction to helping others find peace or perspective.

I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?

It’s a tie between writing about youthful sex and writing about shoplifting. As a young person, I had been trained to treat youthful sex with such seriousness that it still makes me blush, even while snickering at the silliness of this prudishness. I found writing about it equal parts embarrassing and silly. Writing about shoplifting was also humiliating but not in the same silly way as sex. Sexual activity was not a character flaw, even if I believed it was. Stealing, however, was a character flaw, even if I believed it was not. I know this now, of course. Writing about one’s genuine flaws is never easy. I had to force myself to do it because I knew how much it served the story. I owed that to my readers.

Did you learn anything about yourself while writing your memoir?

Most certainly. I learned I could find forgiveness and tolerance through empathy. When writing a memoir, one absolutely must show readers scenes from a wide angle, not simply a narrow and self-centered view. When you widen the lens of perspective, you let empathy in. You simply can’t keep it out when the lens is wide enough. And as soon as empathy enters your perspective, so does tolerance and acceptance. I now believe perhaps almost everything is forgivable. Even the deepest of hurts can heal with empathy. It is a self-reparative gift from nature.

What is one thing you hope your readers take away from the experiences you shared and lessons you learned?

I hope that readers will absorb and internalize the harms and dangers of misogyny so that perhaps there will be a little less of this damaging worldview flowing through humanity. I am not so naive as to believe it can ever be wiped out. We may even be “wired” to believe sexism is fundamental for the survival of our species. But times have changed. The world has changed. We have changed it. And now, minimizing sexism has become fundamental. I also hope readers see and feel the type of feminism that is as sympathetic toward men as it is to women. The men in my story are not better off because they were treated as superior. Unfair, unequal, and lopsided expectations harm both genders. ​Equality benefits us all.

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