Mommy Needs a Minute is written from a compassionate and realistic point of view, addressing a subject that is rarely discussed. Why did you want to write about motherhood burnout from the unique perspective of millennial motherhood?

I wrote from this perspective because I realized that many millennial mothers are in an interesting position for several reasons. First, we came from mothers who were either coming off the feminist train from the 70s and were strong advocates for a career or mothers who were still very traditional. I personally grew up in a very traditional home so once I saw the positive pregnancy test I assumed my career was over. Whether you choose a traditional career or a career as a SAHM most women feel guilty over their choice. We feel we are bad moms for abandoning our children or bad moms for wanting to contribute outside of the home.

In addition, millennial mothers are learning how to navigate technology and use it to our benefit instead of to our detriment. Our mothers didn’t have access to social media, online parenting groups, and search engines that provide thousands of pieces of advice, advice that often contradicts each other. I discuss both of these ideas in the book.

What do you think makes millennial motherhood more challenging than it has been in past generations?

I don’t believe millennial motherhood is more challenging. Being a mother is challenging regardless of what generation you are. However, I do believe that it has its own unique set of challenges. For example, we are in the age of gentle parenting and not wanting to parent like many of us were with an authoritarian style. The problem is many of us are unsure how to do this or what that looks like and the result is we don’t have good boundaries with our children. I believe this contributes to burnout because we are afraid of causing any emotional stress within our children so we struggle to say no and set healthy boundaries. I’ve seen this result in parents feeling angry, bitter, and resentful toward their children and themselves.

What is one thing you suggest to help immediately when dealing with motherhood burnout that is not the typical response that moms usually receive?

Stop seeking instantaneous advice from others and start trusting your instincts and yourself. Obviously, pediatricians and support systems are important. However, don’t underestimate the fact that you know your child best. Take a few minutes to assess what you believe they need and then trust yourself to try.

What is one thing that you hope readers take away from Mommy Needs a Minute?

It’s not your fault you’re burned out. We live in a society with so much information and not enough support to apply most of the best practices we hear. Because of this we often lose ourselves in what we think being a good mom should look like. It’s okay to find yourself again. In fact, you should. You need to be someone with goals, hopes, dreams, ambitions, and a strong sense of self outside of your children. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom or you don’t care about your family. It means you love them enough not to lose yourself in the process.

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