You Can’t Live Your Life From a Place of Fear

Denise Bossarte Author Interview

Thriving After Sexual Abuse shares your story of recovery and gives other abuse victims a starting place on their own road to recovery. Why was this an important book for you to write?

As part of my healing journey, I did a lot of journaling and poetry writing. My husband always encouraged me to share my story to help other survivors, but I didn’t think I could write a memoir about my experiences. As a survivor of trauma, I have difficulty placing the abuse memories in the context of my life outside of the abuse. This is pretty common for survivors. I didn’t feel I had enough of a storyline to put together a meaningful memoir.

And then the story about Dr. Larry Nassar and his abuse of so many girls and women gymnasts came out, and my heart was broken open by how many were suffering because of this one man. I thought to myself that someone should do something to help these women, and others like them, to heal from the trauma of their abuse. And that is when I realized that I could do that; I could write a book about my experiences in the context of my healing journey. I could share the practices and activities that helped me heal as an inspiration for others to begin, or continue on, their own healing journeys. That was the motivation I needed to write my book.

I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?

It was very challenging to write about how much the abuse affected me before I started my healing journey, to delve back into those years of shame, confusion, anger, and suffering. It was incredibly difficult to put those words on paper and to relive those experiences. But it was also very healing to see how far I’ve come and where I am in my life today compared to where I started.

The other most challenging part to write was the “Who Knew What and When?” chapter. To go back and consider who could have known about the abuse and had not stepped in to help me was tough. And to write that chapter in a way to help others go through the same process took quite a while to piece together. But I think it brought clarity for me to understand how and why I dealt with the relationships with those people they way I did as I moved forward in my healing journey.

What is one piece of advice someone gave you that changed your life?

A friend of mine once told me “You can’t live your life from a place of fear.” I was angry at him when he told me that! But I came to realize he was right. That I was keeping myself from living a life of thriving and joy because I was afraid of people finding out about my childhood abuse, afraid of being rejected or pitied, afraid of being my true self. Once I took his message to heart, I was able to be brave in my authenticity and live from a place where no one and no past experiences could control me or the life I wanted to create.

What do you hope is one thing readers take away from your story?

That healing from sexual abuse is possible.

That you are strong enough to start a healing journey that will take you to a place of thriving, and you deserve every minute of that joyful life!

Author Links: GoodReads | Twitter | Facebook | Website

Thriving After Sexual Abuse is an eloquent and empathetic self-development book laying out a blueprint for survivors to heal themselves. Denise Bossarte writes with fierce candor as she shares her own traumatic experience with childhood sexual abuse. Thriving provides tips and suggestions for readers to seek help, self-reflect, and pursue healing through a range of activities and practices and offers tangible strategies for readers to reclaim their lives and move forward to a life of Thriving.

Posted on March 1, 2022, in Interviews and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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