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For The Difficult People Who Sometimes Never Know

Sarah Elliston Author Interview

Sarah Elliston Author Interview

Lessons from a Difficult Person: How to Deal with People Like Us is a guide for people who find themselves dealing with people they find difficult. Why was this an important book for you to write?

As a recovering difficult person, I find myself aching for the people who didn’t say anything to me as I gaffed, who avoided me rather than take the time to help me see how annoying I was. I wrote the book for all of us who avoid difficult people, to help them actually have conversations with them. And I wrote it for the difficult people who sometimes never know how they are perceived by others and feel lonelier and angrier and distanced from others.

I understand that you are a successful workshop leader and trainer. What is one common misconception you find that people have about ‘difficult people’?

One common misconception people have about difficult people is that their behavior is purposefully hurtful; deliberately unkind.

I enjoyed the personal stories you shared. Was this always going to be a guide book, do you think this could have easily been a memoir?

I wanted to help people understand how difficult people are unaware of their impact on others and to do that I had to use my own life stories. It could have been a memoir but my passion is helping difficult people discover that they can change and the only people who tell them would be the readers. Thus, I included the exercises and practice processes for having a conversation.

What do you hope readers take away from your book?

I hope readers will look at difficult people differently and look for ways to help. I hope readers will see that difficult behavior is a habit, and it can be changed.

What is the next book that you are working on and when will it be available?

I am currently working on a book with more stories about my life in terms of how I changed, with the focus on how difficult people can change; either a reader or a friend of a reader.

Author Links: Facebook | Twitter | Website

The funny thing is that Sarah Elliston never realized she was “a difficult person,” –someone who harangued people until she got her way, threw snip fits and temper tantrums, talked over her bosses and pointed out what she thought were their misconceptions. In her family, where she felt bullied, the only way she knew how to get someone’s attention and approval was to voice her opinion–and loudly! Without standing her ground, how could she do what she thought was best for herself and everyone else around her. She wasn’t intentionally mean-spirited. She was just trying to do what she thought was RIGHT!

Until a kind, but firm, boss woke her up! With great compassion, and strength, her boss pointed out that her actions had consequences. That in being “difficult,” she was not only disrupting the office camaraderie and production, but impeding her own professional advancement.

That’s the beginning of Sarah’s transformation– when she started on the journey to leave behind the difficult person, and become the woman who teaches others how to deal with difficult people. Sarah “Sam” Elliston is now bringing forth her vital manual on how to awaken the challenging personality, and change both the relationship and the environment with her new book Dealing with Difficult People; Lessons Learned from a Difficult Person.

Today, Elliston is a highly successful workshop leader and trainer, who offers wisdom learned the hard way–and through rigorous study and certification in many areas of professional training that aid her in her work — Values Realization, Parent Effectiveness Training and Reality Therapy. She is a faculty member of the William Glasser Institute. Glasser is an internationally recognized psychiatrist and developer of Reality Therapy, a method of psychotherapy that teaches people they have a choice in how they choose to behave.

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For Good Health

Shantha Kumar Author Interview

Shantha Kumar Author Interview

The Vegetarian Diet Guru is a guide that provides strategies to design diets for specific nutritional needs. Why was this an important book for you to write?

Diet plays a central role in determining the structural and functional basis of our living and is basic to our sustenance and productivity. Modern medicine has relegated the role of nutrition in our well being, and I wrote this book mainly to bring its importance to the fore and also provide individuals with the knowledge and means to be in charge of their dietary planning. Nature has provided us with a bounty of options to fulfill our nutritional needs but it is up to us to make the right choices for good health. I wanted to outline recipes that use natural, time-tested ingredients and combinations that utilize the latest scientific principles that enhance the value of food, while providing flavor, nutritional balance and variety.

In normal body homeostasis, all parameters fall within normal ranges and the body is on autopilot mode, with the various systems working in unison to provide robust energy, growth and vitality. However, in disease conditions, the body is off balance and requires additional monitoring, medications and diet therapy to function effectively. While the recipes in this book are based on vegetarian selections, they can substitute or supplement non-vegetarian diets as well, as the nutrients and their actions are very similar.

This book has more than 150 recipes. My favorite recipe was the Green Chilies Curry. What is your favorite recipe from the book?

My favorite dish from this book is Masala Okra Curry. Okra is a valuable vegetable in vegetarian diets due to its multiple benefits. Okra is high in fiber, being a rich source of soluble pectins and gums that lower cholesterol, insoluble fibers that aid digestion, and mucilage containing polysaccharides and glycoproteins that lower blood sugar. Other carbohydrates include low glycemic neutral sugars galactose and rhamnose. Okra seeds have 20-40% essential unsaturated fats, and also, rare in vegetables, high amounts of protein, made up of amino acids lysine and tryptophan which are usually lacking in cereal-based vegetarian diets. Okra is also rich in polyphenols and catechins, which provide exogenous anti-oxidant defense against lipid peroxidation and increase endogenous glutathione peroxidase for stabilizing intracellular redox status. This powerhouse of nutrition in this recipe is combined with tomatoes, onions and spices which add to its value. This curry can be a side dish to accompany rice, rotis or complement other menus.

What is a common misconception you find people have about dieting and how they can overcome it?

The common misconception about diet is “one size fits all”; however, people are very unique with respect to their dietary needs, tastes, cultural preferences and health status. Thus, menus have to be customized taking individual factors into consideration. Often, it is difficult to find the right solution for dietary problems and information sources can be confusing or misleading, sometimes even dangerous. In addition, there are plentiful natural, prepared and commercial foods to tempt our palate. In these cases, it may be best to follow safe or tested alternatives that are proven to be effective.

Another common aspect of diets is their content and how the combination of foods affects their assimilation. That is why knowledge of nutrient values helps to precisely target the recipes and menus towards meeting the requirements as closely as possible. Often, with diets and nutritional health, a holistic approach works best rather than an isolated, symptom-based approach. The dieter should aim at harmonizing various body systems in the most optimal way, gearing towards maintaining equilibrium and normal function. Diet should be the first line of action in preventing disease and always have a supportive role in curing and ameliorating abnormal conditions.

Some diets can give results for a short time, but may not be practical for the long term, but here the diet plays a timely role to correct deficiencies or excesses and normalize after which, one can switch to a maintenance diet. Also, some degree of experimentation or trial and error can be allowed with diets and individuals can tailor their diets according to how their body reacts to foods. In the final analysis, a good diet is one that makes you feel happy, energetic and healthy.

What is the next book that you are working on and when will it be available?

In this book, I have explained basic principles of Nutrition and Diet Planning in health and some abnormal conditions. In my next book, I would like to provide further details, better understanding and additional resources for healthy diet planning. Dietary practices are very personal and it takes time for people to commit to change. Diet should be habit forming and in tune with our lifestyle and modifying them according to our needs is a lifelong process. I would like to provide convincing arguments for food choices, simplified menu planning and food preparation strategies, dietary guidelines for other specific conditions and equip people with knowledge, freedom and practices to plan and use their diets optimally for the health and well-being of their family. As we delve deeper into our knowledge about what, how and why our body works, we realize that we have to reclassify foods and nutrients further into sub-categories that work in a coordinated manner. Although all this information may not fit in a book, I would like to popularize these ideas and publish at appropriate times to reach a larger audience.

Author Links: GoodReads | Website | Facebook

The Vegetarian Diet Guru“The Vegetarian Diet Guru” is a nutrients-based menu planning guidebook that explains and provides strategies to design diets that meet nutritional specifications according to individual requirements. There are low-calorie recipes for weight loss; low-glycemic carbohydrates based recipes for blood sugar control in pre-diabetes and diabetes; rice, millets and oats-based recipes that can be used for individuals with wheat gluten hypersensitivity; high fiber vegan and vegetarian recipes for gastro-intestinal health; high protein dishes using lentil bean and dairy proteins to lower BMI (Body Mass Index) and increase muscle mass for vegetarians.

 

Available on Pothi.com

 

8 Ways to Happiness: From Wherever You Are

I believe that most people’s goal in life, certainly my goal, is to live the happiest life possible. This may seem far-fetched in today’s world, but 8 Ways to Happiness is an amazing guide that will help you achieve that dream. In 8 Ways to Happiness, author Dr. Marissa Pei delivers quality advice that does not come off as brash or assertive. What I liked most about this book was that I could tell that she cared. She wants me to be happy and I respect her approach to attaining happiness. We are all deserving of happier living even if the rest of the world is miserable. Dr. Pei encourages us to embrace how we feel and aim to guard our happiness.

Within the first couple of pages we’re given a quote by Albert Einstein, “Is this a Friendly Universe?” I think the biggest statement in this quote is the question mark at the end. This demonstrates that our outlook defines our way of life and if you feel that it’s not friendly then your life will respond accordingly. Which also goes to say, and Dr. Pei is a master at elaborating on this point, that the mind is a powerful thing. Dr. Pei shares some scenarios that can leave you distraught, suffering from depression, or even worse. Although these instances are sensitive topics, she discusses ways to change your thinking for the better, including awareness of your Sad, Critical, and Brat voices within you. If I change the way I’m thinking, embrace more positivity and do better for myself, would that make life easier to maneuver? The greatest feeling is knowing that she understands what many of us are going through and does all she can to reassure us that this isn’t all that our lives can be. When she discusses death and missing those we’ve lost, it really resonated with me since I have lost a loved one. I’m told to embrace my sadness and to have faith. She gives very practical and down to earth advice, such as seek group emotional support and 12 step programs for those battling an unhealthy habit because they’re spiritually based. I’ve come to notice that we are all spiritual beings and should practice tapping into our connection with our creator, or higher power. The world would be a wonderful place if everyone faced their demons and handled them in a healthy way.

I’ve learned so much from reading this book and look forward to applying some of the exercises in my daily life. My goal is to become an even happier version of myself each and every day because life is short and should be celebrated every waking moment. This book encourages us to accept what we cannot change, and instead change our way of thinking. I highly recommend this book to anyone who seeks to live a better life.

Pages: 204 | ASIN: B07DKV7K9W

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The Vegetarian Diet Guru: Nutrients-based Diet Planning

The Vegetarian Diet Guru: Nutrients-based Diet Planning by [Kumar, Shantha]

There are many reasons to go on diet but person who is looking to lose weight would not be on the same diet as one who is diabetic. They have different nutritional needs. The same applies to one who is also on an exercise regimen because a person who undergoes rigorous physical activity requires protein. Their diet would therefore need to have a bit more protein than the regular diet. There is need for knowledge of all these considerations before going on a diet otherwise it will be unsuccessful. Or, you will end up malnutritioned.

This book seeks to provide a roadmap for proper diets. Diets based on nutritional needs and requirements rather than fads. A guideline for formulating personalized diets and menus. With hundreds of recipes to choose from, this book is the perfect companion to find and enjoy a new diet. It will even be possible to sustain the diet plan all through. It takes the hard work out of diets.

Dr. Shantha Kumar has done extensive research on the subject. She has vast knowledge of nutritional needs and diets. She uses all of that in ensuring this book applies across the board. She provides information that caters to different tastes and preferences while always being informative and useful. What I really liked about this book was that her ingredients were always easy to find, and did not require going to a specialty store. She uses easy to find ingredients, most of which are not prone to causing allergic reactions. All this greatness with a splash of Asian sizzle.

In this day and age when there are a lot of diets and recipes online promising to do great things, one needs something reliable and practical. Material whose sole purpose is not to trend but to actually help people achieve their wellness goals. This is what I think The Vegetarian Diet Guru accomplishes. She does not lecture or order the reader around. She explains her reasons for having different ingredients with a table of meal equivalents of nutrients among other resources. She explains everything about metabolism and its role in diets. Reading through the recipes gives you the feeling of being in a kitchen with a close relative. You just want to hang on to every word and master every single movement.

The recipes do not require top-notch culinary prowess and the directions are always clear and concise. I enjoyed how the recipes were laid out for anyone of any skill level. She gives precise instructions. You will enjoy cooking just as much as you will enjoy the foods. This book provides multiple useful tables that are meant to help the reader understand the choices and why everything is important. The book even provides some menu planning templates and samples.

The author strikes a balance between delicious, nutritious, useful, and interesting while also encouraging a personal touch in every recipe. This is an essential resource for every vegetarian diet.

Pages: 390 | ASIN: B079QHR4YY

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The Warrior Teenager: Let Go of Self-Sabotage & Embrace Your True Power

The Warrior Teenager: Let Go of Self-Sabotage & Embrace Your True Power by [Fernandez, Mary Lynne]

In this world where everything is fast paced and competitive, one can feel a little overwhelmed. They can feel lost in the crowd. They can feel like they are drowning in their inability to measure up to society’s expectations and standards. It is not easy. It is not ideal but it is what it is. There is nothing more to do than equip the future generations with the skills to ignore all the news. The wherewithal to see the standards but not bend to them. The ability to understand that the only standards worth measuring up to are ones set by one’s own self.

Mary Lynne Fernandez, with her extensive experience and brilliance, seeks to do exactly that with this book. She seeks to guide teenagers through life. To arm parents with tools to efficiently and successfully navigate the mucky and turbulent waters that is parenting to teenagers. She seeks to shine a light on this depression and suicide epidemic. She seeks to weed it out. She seeks to ensure teenagers seek help before they seek the noose. The only way to achieve this is by harnessing one’s own true power. To embrace and overcome. Suicide is not the way out. Staying alive to fight and exorcise those demons is.

The author has done an excellent job of appealing to her demographic. She does not tell the reader to just get over it. She outlines practical steps with passion and affection. Her delivery and presentation are powerful. She lays a strong foundation for her message with vivid writing that uses simple but powerful language. She is not looking to provide answers but rather a road-map to realization. The subject matter is relevant, relatable, and rings true. She has addressed the conversation in a sensible and sober way.

I think this book is aimed at two demographics. The first is the teenagers, of course. They need to understand just how stacked the deck is and how to play the game. They need to understand the truth about the world they live in. Parents of said teenagers will also find this book useful. The author does a good job of addressing both generations. I felt that she understood and appreciated the different situations and thus successfully speaks to both parent and teen.

This book is inspirational and useful by providing ingenious insights that are both practical and applicable. If you go into the woods, you may bring a wilderness survival book. If you’re becoming a teenager you may want to take this book along with you. This book will help you approach your thoughts and passions with fresh eyes. Read it. Understand it. Utilize it.

Pages: 188 | ASIN: B07CSF7PPN

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Spirituality 103 The Forgiveness Code: Finding The Light In Our Shadow

Spirituality 103 The Forgiveness Code: Finding The Light In Our Shadows by [Figueroa-Otero, Ivan]

Ivan Figueroa-Otero’s Spirituality 103: The Forgiveness Code is the third installment in a succession of self-help books that focus on spirituality, mindfulness, and self-understanding. This installment more specifically deals with the power of forgiveness. The reader is encouraged to connect with his or her inner ‘Warrior of Light’, meaning that in order to confront the negativity around us we must look into ourselves and examine the negativity that we harbor internally. Figueroa-Otero employs the use of Buddhism and Chinese-Tao concepts to help the reader get on a path towards connecting with him or herself and to understand that forgiveness is necessary for progress and growth.

One thing that I found helpful about the novel was the glossary that was included in the beginning. It gave the author’s expanded definition for various specific terms that was used throughout the book, such as ‘Warrior of Light’, ‘Warrior of Shadows’, and so on. Figueroa-Otero also provides homework questions at the end of chapters to help the reader review and fully understand the concepts discussed in each chapter. I found this helpful as it allowed me to exercise my understanding what I just read.

Another helpful aspect to the novel is that the reader does not necessarily need to read the first two installments in order to comprehend and fully practice the message and lesson that the author communicates. Figueroa-Otero does an excellent job in the introduction at summarizing what the readers have learned from the first two books and how that might be applied to this book.

Overall, I enjoyed this novel. I’m all about a good self-help book, and it’s refreshing to see one written on the power of forgiveness. However, the prose was so dense with poetic and figurative language that I would have to reread some sections to understand what was said. Along with amble use of metaphors I felt that I sometimes had to apply my own meaning rather than being told what things meant.

This would be a great book to read for anyone who finds themselves bitter or harboring hateful feelings towards others. I love the lesson presented within the book and you can really feel the authors passion for the subject matter. And in the end, with a self help, what you’re really looking for is an author that cares. And I think I found that in this book.

Pages: 154 | ASIN: B0764DYJHS

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Neurotic Children as Adults

“It is easier to build strong children than it is to repair broken men.”

This right here is an accurate summary of the purpose of this book. The kind of adults children grow into is entirely dependent on how they are brought upon. According to Arnold Holtzman, nothing is ever truly forgotten. There is always a subconscious memory of childhood comforts. For this reason, something as simple as interrupting the comfort and joy of suckling can have deeply etched effects on the child. Effects that run into adulthood.

The author introduces the idea of the mother from hell and the mother from heaven. The mother from heaven instinctively cares for her child. Her physical and emotional connection with her child is real and almost tangible. Even when she is chastising the child, he or she can still see the love and affection in her eyes. The mother from hell does not take the time to build this bond. They let their own demons color their interactions with their child.

Over the years, behavioral disorders have been defined differently. It seems that every few years a different disorder becomes the it-thing. A look at the root and basis of all these disorders reveals that they are all as a result of parenting from hell. They are all a result of some form of deficiency in childhood. It all comes down to the experience in formative years. All the way from infancy, not just when the child learns how to speak.

The author obviously has a good understanding of psychology and behaviorism. His understanding is obvious in the way he relays his message. He does not just regurgitate the information from textbooks but rather lays out his understanding in simpler terms. He does this in simple language. The prose flows freely. This is a subject requiring a strong voice. The author is unapologetic but not arrogant or offensive. This book has depth. It is not an overview. It is a breakdown of the subject matter. It is a contribution to a discussion. It is not a lecture.

This book has several examples of adults with behavioral issues deeply rooted in developmental deficiency. His description of each one of these cases is vivid and revealing. These cases are relatable. More often than not, the reader will recognize his or herself in Janice or Cheryl. If one is already a mother they will recognize how their childhood played a part into making them into this kind of adult. Hopefully, that will help their own relationship with their child so that they will not grow into such an adult.

Being a parent is often tinged with doubt. No one stops to tell a parent they are doing a good job. They only ever stop to make judgment when something looks wrong. This means that life as a parent is uncertain. One can never know if they are doing it right, they can only hope. This book is that much needed assurance and guidance. Children are the future. This book is one way of ensuring the adults of the future are emotionally and psychologically healthy. Five stars out of five for this book. It is incredibly helpful. It is not judgmental. It is apt and fitting. If there were more stars, Neurotic Children as Adults would be deserving.

Pages: 286 | ISBN: 198169692X

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You’re Not Alone, You’re Not Crazy

Elizabeth Onyeabor Author Interview

Elizabeth Onyeabor Author Interview

From The Shadows describes your personal journey through some very trying times. Why was this an important book for you to write?

I want people struggling with depression to know there’s hope. My message to them is: if you’re depressed, you’re not alone, you’re not crazy, and you can obtain lasting happiness.

The last thing I thought I’d share publicly was my journey into and out of despair. But writing this story uncovered a passion I buried forty-eight years earlier. By recounting and working through my most painful mistakes and memories, I discovered meaning and renewed purpose. I now experience joyfulness and self-love beyond my wildest dreams. I share all the steps I took so others can follow my path and find healing, too.

You were able to take a deep look at your depression, explaining its breadth and depth. What are some common misconceptions you feel people have about depression?

First, most articles focus on the sadness, but for me, depression also felt hostile. I remember constant self-loathing over the past, hopelessness about the future, and emptiness in the present.

Next, depression isn’t only about a person who’s stuck in bed. For years, I contended with high-functioning depression, or dysthymia. To the casual observer, I seemed healthy, but I wasn’t. Many times, I wanted to sleep and never wake up. But, I crawled out of bed every day and went to work pretending everything was peachy.

Last, depression is more common than many realize, surpassing all other disabilities. According to the World Health Organization, one in five people will suffer at some point. When I talk about my triumph, so many people privately tell me about their own or a loved one’s battle against depression that I wonder whether the one-in-five estimate is too low. Few admit to their condition because of the crushing stigma. Perhaps resources like my book can shift reader’s perceptions from judgment to empathy.

I felt like this emotional book was ultimately uplifting. What do you hope readers take away from this book?

If you’re combatting depression, I hope my insights from the trenches encourage your healing and self-love.

If you’re not, I hope by revealing the chaos my disorder caused, it furthers your understanding and compassion.

Either way, my wish is that sharing my intimate story serves as inspiration.

What is the next book you are writing and when will it be available?

Currently, I’m working on two books for release within the year. The first is Escaping the Shadows, a poetry collection. The second is Beyond the Shadows: The Light Within. It provides an even deeper dive into I how I healed my motherhood guilt. I share the ways I found forgiveness for myself and my molester to reclaim innocence lost and cement self-love.

Author Links: Amazon | GoodReads

From The Shadows: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Renewal by [Onyeabor, Elizabeth]

Offering hope and healing, the author retraces her beautiful transformation from suicidal despair to habitual happiness, sprinkling each step with soul-stirring original poetry and journal excerpts.

For decades, she hid her chronic depression from everyone, including herself, until hitting a crisis point. She seemed successful and happy to all, except her closest confidantes; they knew the anguish she wished to end by killing herself. Through self-exploration, she found a pathway to conquer the pain.

In From the Shadows, she shares the questions she confronted, unearths her root causes, and presents a map out of the mire. Finally, she unlocks inner wealth by facing phantoms holding long forgotten keys to her past.

Joining in her journey, you may uncover a few treasures of your own.

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Hsing-I Chuan: The Practice of Heart and Mind Boxing – Book Trailer

Hsing-I is one of the true treasures of the internal martial arts. Based on ancient Taoist philosophy, it has both the capacity to be used as a devastating martial art alongside its ability to improve the health of a practitioner by promoting the circulation of chi throughout the body. Historically, its lineage is said to trace back over 900 years.

The internal martial arts is a subject discussed by everyone who practices kung-fu but is known and employed by only a few. In this book, Master James McNeil and his student, Andrew Jackson, present a comprehensive analysis of this unique internal art. Consisting of insightful information, accompanied by hundreds of photographs and illustrations it discusses both the theories and practice in a clear and understandable manner, making it a worthwhile read for all levels of practitioner.

Sharing with the reader and explaining the meanings of the deep Taoist philosophical theories pertaining to this art, Master James McNeil draws on over forty years of study and practice alongside his own unique insight into Hsing-I Chuan passed on to him by his teachers, Master Hsu Hong Chi and Grandmaster Chiao Chang Hung of Taiwan.

Whether you are just starting to learn Hsing-I or you are an experienced practitioner, this book will help enrich your practice and understanding in greater depth, the attributes pertaining to this ancient and beautiful Chinese internal art.

Never has this depth of information been printed in the English language on this subject and readers will discover the art of Hsing-I Chuan, enabling them to enhance their practice, improve their health and cultivate their spirit.

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The Vegetarian Diet Planner

“The Vegetarian Diet Planner” is a nutrients-based menu planning guidebook that explains and provides strategies to design diets that meet nutritional specifications according to individual requirements. There are low-calorie recipes for weight loss; low-glycemic carbohydrates based recipes for blood sugar control in pre-diabetes and diabetes; rice, millets and oats-based recipes that can be used for individuals with wheat gluten hypersensitivity; high fiber vegan and vegetarian recipes for gastro-intestinal health; high protein dishes using lentil bean and dairy proteins to lower BMI (Body Mass Index) and increase muscle mass for vegetarians. The unique feature of this book is providing relevant nutrition factors for each recipe like total calories, carbohydrate, fat and protein per serving. Using Food exchange groups for balanced nutrition and Carbohydrate counts for diabetics is also explained in detail with corresponding information charts. The 150+ recipes in this book are planned with healthy and nutritious ingredients, and sample menus with calculated nutrient values are provided for 1200 to 2800 calorie diets. Several Menu planning Templates and options are outlined in the book to select from based on personal choices. Dietary management using a scientific and precise approach will greatly help to control and maintain a normal and healthy lifestyle and promote well-being. Whether planning a fully vegetarian meal or using dishes to supplement non-vegetarian food choices, this book is a valuable resource for health-conscious food lovers.

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