In your memoir Trust Yourself to Be All In: Safe to Love and Let Go, readers will find a deeply personal and emotional account of how divorce and personal loss have affected your life. What motivated you to share your story with the world?

I believe we experience loss and other pain in life in order to heal and then help others. We aren’t supposed to keep it for ourselves. I know there are many people suffering the pain of emotional abandonment, grief, and trauma, and I have found healing and a solution that not only sets me free but gives my life purpose. I’m compelled to share this healing with others. It’s as simple as that…something inside pushes me to help others.

I greatly appreciate the candid and transparent nature of the story you have shared. Would you be able to shed some light on the most arduous aspect of the writing process?

Personally, rewriting Chapter 1, “The Catalyst,” about my brother’s overdose, our childhood memories (some pleasant, others, not so much), my anger about his addiction and death, and eventually how his death set me free, was very difficult. I would find myself in disbelief that I was crying, again. It was also challenging to see the truth of my story. Seeing the reality of some painful events, in black and white, was emotionally draining. In general, I didn’t find the writing process arduous. It was a period of divine inspiration and came quite naturally to me. The hardest part was deciding which parts to keep and which parts to toss. I felt much of what was removed was important, but I had to make very honest decisions about if it added or detracted from the main message and the power of the book. It was a humbling process.

What is one piece of advice you wish someone had given you when you were younger that could have helped you deal with personal loss and grow from these challenges?

You are good, worthy, and loved no matter what. Know that other people’s actions and behaviors are not about you, and you are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness.

I understand that your story is important to you and you want your readers to connect with it. Can you please help me understand what message you want your readers to take away from your story?

Healing your personal pain holds the power to heal the collective. It’s the only power we truly have. Finding comfort in all of your emotions by healing your grief and trauma, building an unshakable foundation of self-worth and self-love, and trusting yourself to show up for yourself in good times and “bad” creates an open heart of unconditional love and compassion, for yourself and others. It’s time to break the chains of generational family dysfunction, address your pain, and do the work to heal. Your life, and the lives of others, depend on it.

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