Quiet Love (& Growing It) is a practical guide blending science and social wisdom to help individuals cultivate lasting, fulfilling relationships through patience, growth, and quiet effort. Why was this an important book for you to write?

Everywhere you look, you find unrealistic depictions of what love is. Some people don’t have any examples of what a real, lasting relationship looks like and only see effortless or “romanticized” versions in movies or social media. It’s rare to find people who speak the truth about real love, how to find it, and most importantly, how to keep it.

What surprised you most while researching the science of love, and how can this understanding change the way people approach their relationships?

That there are actually formulas that make us more likely to fall in love, though it is more open-ended than one might think. Also, how quickly our subconscious can make judgments about another person after looking at them. It’s less than one second, though not always accurate for the purposes of a successful long-term relationship.

What advice would you give to couples who feel that their relationship lacks excitement but is still grounded in love and stability?

It sounds unromantic, but I wouldn’t suggest focusing on excitement at all. Excitement comes from the unknown, so as you learn more about each other, the excitement naturally fades. This is perfectly normal and okay, but if you expect it to last forever, you will always be looking for the next relationship. If you focus on consistent everyday actions and a shared purpose, the rest will fall into place toward a lasting and truly fulfilling relationship.

Which myth do you think is most harmful to relationships, and what steps can individuals take to reframe their thinking about love?

The No-Day Rule speaks about this, but anything like the “three-day rule” where you wait three days before contacting someone again after a first date. There’s nothing that will tangle the lines of communication more than things like these. And there’s nothing more attractive than someone who isn’t afraid to show competent and respectful interest in you.

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