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You’re the Cake

You’re the Cake: The Guy’s the Frosting by Marcia Lite-Braus is a self-help book that emphasizes the need for you to love and care for yourself first before seeking love from others. With ten chapters telling of Marcia’s experience dating different men, this book had enough coverage to point out the psychological and emotional reasons that influenced her and many women’s choice of men.

An invaluable attribute of this book is how Marcia, in bullet form, highlighted the problem with each choice in each story, what could have been done to avert it, and the affirmations that will help you do better. Furthermore, Marcia’s ability to find streaks of humor in her mistakes buffers the painful and, sometimes, alarmingly shocking mishaps she had dating different kinds of men. For every type of person out there, Marcia shared her experience dating them. From the kleptomaniac to the criminal, Marcia’s writing style makes her stories memorable, along with the lessons gleaned from ‘not shopping the inside’ of these men.

As a single, divorced mother of one, Marcia demonstrated how many women are inclined to re-enter the dating pool with a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem, bruised from the end or failure of their last relationship or marriage. This book reassures single women how that should not be the case. It provides copious examples of how love has been misrepresented and how not loving yourself can only attract the wrong kind of people. It is even worse when you project your past trauma or lapses into your future engagements. In this book, Marcia has succeeded in describing, in simple terms, how to be less critical of self. In this breakdown of one of the most complex aspects of human relationships – finding the right partner, Marcia made her writing relatable and easy to read. The burden of building a relationship should not be on you alone. If anything, it should not be a burden at all.

You’re the Cake: The Guy’s the Frosting is a real page-turner. On the last page, you’d be left desiring more of the writing and knowing that you have learned all it takes to value yourself and be that cake that deserves the best frosting.

Pages: 66 | ASIN : B0B72HMVM2

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The Second Time Around

The Second Time Around is an educational guide for readers who are looking for a significant and meaningful relationship. Authors Louis Falik and Vera David are both practitioners in the field of psychology and, after losing their spouses to illnesses, have come together to write a book to share their experiences and knowledge.

This enlightening book is based on their own journey but can be used as a tool for anyone who has lost their significant other. The authors dive deep into many topics such as finding intimacy after losing someone, finding your self-worth, the changes we face as we get older, preparing for a new relationship, the differences in lifestyles and much more.

The authors are in the later stages of their lives so they have seen and experienced a lot and that wealth of knowledge is laid out as a roadmap for readers. Older readers will find much of their guidance and advice resonates and make sense. All the advice that is offered in the book is easily understood, pragmatic and actionable, making this a practical guide rather than theoretical ideology.

Even though much of the advice comes from losing someone and venturing out into the world afterward, I feel as though this book would be beneficial to anyone who is in the dating world. For example, I live in an era where internet ghosting is a normal thing. Someone just randomly stops communicating with you without any explanation, answers, or closure and that is usually hard to cope with and move on from. This book will help you understand intimacy and help you pick yourself back up after such disappointment.

The Second Time Around is an informative personal development book that I highly recommend to those who have suffered from loss or disappointment in their intimate lives. The author’s experiences will help readers cope, move on and develop a strong and worthwhile relationship with someone special.

Pages: 218 | ASIN: B09B4L9K21

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Date up, not down: The Modern Woman’s Blueprint to Elevating in Life and Love

In the world of dating with swipes and double taps, your soulmate might be the one you accidentally swiped left on, or you might have a thousand matches but no connection. This book offers the elder sister advice that most of us never got. MeChelle Paterek talks about everything from finance and career to sex and self-esteem. This book serves as the modern independent woman’s guide to taking charge and raising the dating bar.

With ten empowering and informative chapters the author provides actionable ideas and advice that one can easily implement in their life. The author covers many topics in this book that empowers women and builds their self esteem. Topics such as taking care of oneself, different male personalities, being financially independent, being confident, and many more topics.

The author’s writing comes off as conversational, like talking to a girlfriend or even a life coach. I found myself agreeing with many of the topics in this book as I was reading. MeChelle’s personality really comes through in her writing and you feel her rooting for all of the women out there who are struggling when it comes to dating or even struggling to find who they really are. I enjoyed reading about the author’s experiences she faced when she dated and I feel like she truly understands what her readers are going through. I also enjoyed the fact that the author doesn’t just sit back and feel sorry for herself, nor does she allow her readers to feel this way. I feel this is one book that you can read at any stage of your life, whether you are single or married. This is one book you can revisit to self reflect and use to work on certain things you are not happy with.

Date Up, Not Down is a charming, witty, no filter read that will have you hooked from the turn of the first page. I highly recommend this book to women who are looking to improve themselves.

Pages: 184 | ISBN: 1737352206

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Oh, Lords!: Who We Date, Why We Date Them, and What We’ve Learned

Oh, Lords!: Who We Date, Why We Date Them, and What We’ve Learned by [Jes Averhart, Terresa Zimmerman]

Oh, Lords!: Who We Date, Why We Date Them, and What We’ve Learned by Terresa Zimmerman and Jes Averhart is an amusing and uniquely insightful book on dating. Authors Zimmerman and Averhart share their personal dating stories and experiences, the good and the bad. They discuss the different types of men that they met and label them based on their personalities. The author’s breakdown of each archetype along with their personal experiences tell you what signs to look for. This is not a self-help book or a how-to book, but instead it is a book on the dating experiences both author’s faced, and in sharing those experiences we get to learn about the men out there but also much more about ourselves and what we want out of a relationship.

There are many times I have been out with my girlfriends eating dinner and talking and the conversation inevitably steers towards men and dating. This book gave me that same comfortable buzz I get when talking with my friends about dating. The language feels so easy and free flowing in that same dinner chat way. I was engaged throughout the book because of the witty and conversational tone.

I enjoyed the creative archetypes they used and the comical images that accompanied the descriptions of each man, making it very easy to imagine what is going on and you feel as though you are in the story. As you are reading about the authors’ experiences you begin to reflect on the dating experiences you’ve gone through and realize you may have run into a few lords yourself. Both authors’ perfectly incorporated their personalities in the story and I found myself laughing as I was reading. But while the book can be humorous it also touches upon a more serious topic which is abuse in a relationship and signs to look out for. I also appreciated that both authors also stated that because their book is written from a heterosexual perspective this book can be read as gender agnostic.

Oh, Lords! Who We Date, Why We Date Them, and What We’ve Learned is a delightful, humorous, and illuminating read that I would recommend to anyone in the dating world, or anyone that is looking for a fun memoir of two women’s dating experiences.

Pages: 284 | ASIN: B09BRHRBYX

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Sex, Cons & Rock ‘N Roll

Dating can be hard. Online dating can be even harder. Between scammers, sleazeballs, and the all too rare sincere connection, it can be a pretty rough road. But if you never try, you may never have that chance to find love.

Gloria Moodie has looked for love in all the wrong places, all the right places, and all the places in between. In her book Sex, Cons, & Rock ‘N Roll- A Tale of Love, Passion, and Betrayal! she gives an abbreviated glimpse into her journey to find a genuine connection, mostly through the use of online dating sites. Moodie moves quickly through the stages of her life, giving a brief synopsis into each of her serious relationships, and even some of the less serious ones. She injects her stories with both humor and humanity. There’s a sincerity to Gloria Moodie’s book that is rare and I wanted to dive deeper into the stories she tells, but they were often too brief for being way too interesting.

Throughout the book, Moodie focuses on the people who prey on others online, and the damage it does to those sincere in their search. Having been the target of scammers in the past, she makes an effort to educate others to prevent it from happening to them as well. She provides many useful tips and helpful resources that will assist you in furthering your research after you’ve finished this book.

Sex, Cons, and Rock ‘N Roll succinctly illustrates the pitfalls of putting yourself out there. Gloria Moodie’s anecdotes were engaging and funny and I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a light memoir that’s also informative.

Pages: 180 | ISBN-10: 1525575341

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SEX, CONS & ROCK ‘N ROLL – Trailer

I have been widowed, divorced, conned, lied to, and cheated on.

This book is often humorous, sometimes sad, but mostly a truthful account of my life and experiences; THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY. I hope you laugh, and I hope you cry.

A big part of this book is the nasty truth about online dating and mature dating in general.

I will tell you about the bad guys, scammers, and con men, working hard to steal your money, the ones that make their living taking advantage of your vulnerability, by lying to you.

I will tell you how I was conned out of $10,000 by a man I thought loved me.

Destined To Date A Good Man

Destined To Date A Good Man: No More Counterfeits! by [Thomas, Daisy]

Dating is hard. Finding a man that aligns with your values and personal beliefs is even harder. There are a lot of men out in the world that are just looking to take advantage of a women, that don’t believe women are equal or deserving of equal treatment, and that honestly care only for themselves. Daisy Thomas has put together a book to help women navigating the world of dating avoid the problem men and find a partner that is grounded in God and good intentions.

When you start reading this book, you will find it reads more like a dissertation or informational article. Daisy Thomas’s writing style is very direct and to the point, so you won’t get warm fuzzy feelings reading her words of wisdom. Some of the main topics that she covers is trusting your gut, identifying counterfeit personalities, and finding men that share your values in God and family. There is a strong emphasis on finding a person that has a Godly heart and Godly intentions as well as one that shares your values with family and how to live. Daisy Thomas emphasizes finding someone to share your goals and dreams with that is going to support you and not kill your spirit to feed their own personal agenda.

This is a short book, only around 100 pages. However, it is filled with knowledge of how to recognize abusive behavior in a partner. It highlights the patterns that most abusers make and gives you the tell-tale warning signs so you can hopefully get away before it is too late. Anyone that believes in God, and that God has a plan for you, this is a good read for. It uses direct quotes from the bible to back up her views, it is well written to convey her message, and shows women there is more out there and they don’t have to settle for the first man that shows them any interest.

Pages: 110 | ASIN: B07982KQ8G

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The Ability to Manipulate

Jan Marshall Author Interview

Jan Marshall Author Interview

Romance Scam Survivor is an in depth account of your experience with an online scammer. What was the inspiration that made you want to turn your experience into a book?

Initially I gathered all the emails and texts in an attempt to understand what had happened. When I realised I had been scammed I was in a state of disorientation, so did this to try and make sense of it all, to try and see where my judgment had lapsed and how I had slipped up so badly. I chose to put all of this content together in a way that was totally honest, so the reader to see for themselves if they would have done the same thing. Once I had collated all of this I couldn’t look at it for some time.

The rest of the book wasn’t written until several years later. By that time I had done a lot of research and better understood the psychological skills that scammers have, and their ability to manipulate one’s emotions. Later I was writing to show that it is possible to come through the other side of such a devastating and traumatic experience.

It’s obvious in hindsight that this was a scam, but do you feel that there was something that someone could have said that could have helped you?

I was warned several times that it was a scam, but somehow could not believe it. I felt that the relationship was too intimate to be a scam.

I have also worked with others who are in this situation, and know it is very difficult to break through the hypnotic state that a victim is in when they are in a scam. I wish I did know what might have helped, because there are many others who could be helped with this information. There is no silver bullet that I have found, regrettably.

Do you think that finding love online is an inherently vulnerable prospect? Is there a way for people to be both safe and vulnerable online?

I am not against online dating per se. Many people have established and maintained successful relationships and marriages from meeting online. I do think it is important to not give too much away, especially personal details, until you are very confident of your partner.

For those who do want to do date online I would suggest

  • Make sure you only connect with those people you can meet face to face
  • Understand what the red flags are before you begin – later may be too late.
  • Have a friend mentor you in the process, but start with an agreement that you will take their advice. You need someone who will not be emotionally involved.
  • Follow the safety rules that are set up within the dating site – don’t get enticed to go off the site for convenience.
  • Never give money – ANY requests for money are a scam

What advice would you give to someone that is currently online dating?

  • Trust your intuition: If you have any sense that it might or could be a scam then it more than likely is?
  • Make sure you meet face to face.
  • Follow the guidance given above. If any of them raise concerns, it is likely to be a scam.
  • If you do get caught in a scam, report it to the relevant fraud agency.

Author Links: GoodReadsTwitterFacebookWebsite

Romance Scam Survivor: The Whole Sordid Story by [Marshall, Jan]

“How could you give money to someone you’ve never met?”

That’s the first question most people ask.

For Jan Marshall, life was good. She had worked hard, set herself up well, and was looking for a companion to share her future with. Just as countless thousands around the world do, every day, she turned to online dating.

In just a few months, Jan believed she was ‘in love’. She accepted a proposal of marriage, and then sent money – ALL her money – to a professional scammer.

How did it happen? How can an intelligent person be so thoroughly scammed?

Jan courageously shares the details of her devastating experience, in order to help others recognise such devious swindlers who prey on trusting souls, and maybe even to catch this thief.

You might think it can’t happen to you, or someone you love, but can you be sure?

The work is a non-fiction account and memoir covering the communication between myself and the scammer, based on my records of our communications. By sharing the personal and intimate nature of the interactions it asks the reader to put themselves in my shoes, and in response the question “how could you be so stupid?” is answered. It details the process of dealing emotionally with the scam and the financial difficulties that I found myself in afterwards. It is a story of my process through being a victim to becoming a survivor. Areas that need change are also addressed. Some support resources and links are also provided, though this is not the main purpose.

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