Finding Max is a memoir detailing your relentless decades-long search for your father’s birth family, uncovering hidden truths, confronting painful secrets, and redefining the meaning of family along the way. Why was this an important book for you to write?

After a couple of deaths in the family, only a few months apart, I felt dread and urgency to tell the story of Finding Max. I had wanted to tell the story before, but I was putting it off until “I had more time in life.” Unfortunately, the deaths of those close family members made me realize that time may not be my friend, and I’d better do this while it’s fresh and raw.

What was the most surprising discovery you made during your search for your father’s birth family?

There are so many actually. Every discovery was something I wasn’t necessarily expecting. But I think the most surprising thing was the connection to the birth father that was absolutely never expected, so close, yet so far away.

If you could go back and give yourself one piece of advice at the start of your search, what would it be?

One piece of advice is tough. Throughout my book, I give reflections on lessons learned, and there are so many. But if I had to go back and give one, I would tell myself to spend more time with my dad’s birth family after I’d found them, visit them more often, and take vacations with them, because time is stolen from you and you never know how much time you really have.

How has this journey changed your perspective on identity and what it means to be “family”?

Family is not something you’re born into, it’s something you make, and not necessarily by blood. You’re not bound by birthright.

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