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Intentional Choices
The Ten Permissions invites readers to tear up the old rulebook for what it means to “be an adult” and instead write their own permission slips by offering up ten guiding principles to help navigate a world that feels more uncertain and chaotic than the one prior generations knew. Why was this an important book for you to write?
I’ve spent my whole life helping people navigate profound change – and we’re all navigating pretty profound change right now! I wanted to take all of my learning and experience to help people better navigate this world – when the old rules no longer apply, but we’re not sure we’re allowed to write new ones. My message? We are allowed! In fact, we have to – we have to update how we operate in order to thrive in these fluid times.
What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?
I’d say my message around self-permission comprises three ideas: firstly, agency – we need to claim our own agency, to make intentional choices that serve us and suit this moment. Second, adaptability, we need to design much more adaptive life paths in a world where change is now a constant. And thirdly, personal authority or self-authoring – we’ve got to back ourselves, to give ourselves permission to make choices that fit life today rather than defaulting to what’s always been done.
What advice do you have for those who want to redefine their future but are afraid of taking that first step to make meaningful changes?
Start small! Start on a Saturday. Start with things that are low risk or low consequence. You don’t have to blow up your life in order to start making meaningful changes. Think in terms of how you manage your days before you think about how you manage your years.
What is one thing that you hope readers take away from The Ten Permissions?
It’s OK if your life doesn’t look or feel the way you expect/ed it to – whether you’re 24, 44, or 64! – You’re navigating adult life during seriously disruptive times. So give yourself permission to do your life differently – it might not look like your parents’ life, and that’s more than OK.
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We need a new approach to being an adult in the 21st century. The old formulas for success no longer add up. Yesterday’s rules no longer apply. The world has transformed, but our internalized operating systems haven’t kept pace. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and anxious, unsure of what life path you’re allowed to take and what choices you’re supposed to make.
It’s time to give yourself permission to step confidently into this fluid world—to design a life that takes advantage of today’s opportunities rather than defaulting to yesterday’s expectations. The Ten Permissions offers ten specific ways to let go of outdated ways of operating and
• adopt a diverse, adaptive approach to your career;
• redefine the metrics of success and security in a volatile world;
• build the capabilities to remain relevant and responsive amidst nonstop change.
As a global change facilitator and international aid veteran, Jillian Reilly offers bold, counterintuitive advice to help you thrive in a world that shows no sign of slowing down—and to imagine the kind of future you want to be a part of creating.
The Ten Permissions
The heart of this book is simple but powerful. Author Jillian Reilly invites readers to tear up the old rulebook for what it means to “be an adult” and instead write our own permission slips. She offers ten guiding principles like “Be Willful,” “Go Astray,” and “Forget about the Future,” each meant to help us navigate a world that feels more uncertain and chaotic than the one our parents knew. Through personal stories, global perspectives, and plenty of gentle nudges, she frames adulthood not as a rigid set of milestones but as a creative and ongoing act of self-authoring.
The writing is warm, conversational, and at times almost conspiratorial, as though she’s leaning in and whispering, “You really don’t have to live that way anymore.” I found myself nodding along, sometimes with relief and sometimes with a pang of recognition. Her insistence that we give ourselves permission to fail, to wander, to feel lost felt both liberating and oddly radical, especially in a culture so obsessed with status and achievement. It made me think about how many of my own choices have been steered by “supposed to” rather than “want to,” and that realization was uncomfortable, but also motivating.
Some of the ideas, while inspiring, felt easier said than done. “Travel light,” for example, sounds freeing until you remember that debt, kids, or aging parents don’t exactly let you toss everything overboard. And yet, even in those moments, I didn’t feel dismissed. Instead, I felt challenged to consider what lightening my own load might look like, even if only in small ways. Her stories, especially those about her sons, gave the ideas a grounding in real life, and I appreciated that she didn’t pretend to have it all figured out.
I found the book energizing. It’s the kind of read that makes you want to scribble in the margins, dog-ear pages, and then hand it to a friend with an urgent, “You need this.” I’d recommend it to anyone feeling stuck, burned out, or caught between old definitions of success and the life they actually want. It’s not a how-to manual, and it doesn’t give you a neat five-step plan. What it gives is something more vital: permission to imagine, to try, to fail, and to keep going. And honestly, that feels like exactly what adulthood in this messy century requires.
Pages: 176 | ISBN : 1963827295
LITERARY TITAN 