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Just Love Them & Support Them
Parenting with Pride is a lifeline for parents navigating the journey of raising LGBTQ+ teens and is structured around four pillars: Embrace, Educate, Empower, and Love, with each chapter guiding readers through emotions, challenges, and growth. Why was this an important book for you to write?
Writing and journaling have always been a big part of who I am and how I express myself. I kept copious notes on all of the meetings with the dozens of professionals we worked with in those first 18 months, and having the escape of just pouring all of my thoughts and feelings onto a page was quite literally a life saver for me. As we landed on more solid ground I realized that I needed to share our story with all of its vulnerability and space for evolution so that others would realize they are not alone. I knew I could write something that was engaging and real in a way that could help so many people without shaming or isolating anyone. It was also important that there was space for reflection and prompts to help the reader really connect with where they are now and where they wish to be.
I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?
I knew that in order to convey our experiences, to really honor what each of us went through and learned, I would need to put myself back in time. I would meditate and get really quiet so I could access all of the feelings and thoughts and then record them. It was particularly difficult writing about almost losing Connor to suicide, although the editing process zoomed out quite a bit from the gritty emotion of the first draft. If you read anything and thought “wow, that’s intense” or “that must have been so difficult, ” know that I felt it over and over again as I wrote and edited the book.
What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?
Oh my goodness, so many! The four pillars really helped me organize everything I wanted to share with readers in a way that I hope will help them remember. I think there are essentially four main ideas: 1. Embrace the messiness and the unknown. Embrace that there is no such thing as a perfect parent and that some of the best moments are found in owning our mistakes and modeling being human. 2. We ALL have biases, that is not a judgement call, and we are ALL capable of unlearning and evolving. 3. Learning to trust yourself and set healthly boundaries is so empowering, which then allows you the knowledge, space, and ability to empower your kids. 4. More than anything else in the world, our kids just need us to see them, hear them, and love them without conditions or spirit of transactionality.
What do you hope is one thing readers take away from your book?
Your child, friend, or colleague sharing their sexuality or gender identity with you is a gift. It takes courage and vulnerability. Trust that they know who they are and just love them and support them.
Author Links: GoodReads | Website
Your kid just came out to you, and amid the flurry of emotion or worry you might feel, you know you would do anything to protect their health and happiness. And you are not alone! Heather Hester, coach, advocate, and host of the #1 rated podcast, Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen, combines an honest retelling of her own son’s coming-out experience with wide-ranging research, conversations with dozens of professionals, and the unique experiences of other families to provide the ultimate guidebook for parents embarking on this journey.
In Parenting with Pride: Unlearn Bias and Embrace, Empower, and Love Your LGBTQ+ Teen, Hester provides parents and caregivers with four transformations that gently, but purposefully, walk them through the four pillars toward fully supporting and loving your LGBTQ+ child: Embrace, Educate (or Unlearn), Empower, Love.
With trustworthy information and an accessible, straightforward plan, Parenting with Pride provides actionable yet profound tools and mental shifts to help parents support their teens and themselves and to be a catalyst for change in their communities.
Parenting with Pride: Unlearn Bias and Embrace, Empower, and Love Your LGBTQ+ Teen
Parenting with Pride by Heather Hester is a lifeline for parents navigating the journey of raising LGBTQ+ teens. The book is structured around four pillars: Embrace, Educate, Empower, and Love, with each chapter guiding readers through emotions, challenges, and growth. Heather’s personal story as a mother of a gay teen is both raw and relatable. It’s a book that reassures you that you’re not alone while offering practical advice to love and support your child authentically.
Right off the bat, I was pulled in by Heather’s honesty. Her opening story about her son Connor’s coming out after a terrifying night where he went missing made my chest tight. It was such a real, imperfect moment of relief and love. That’s the tone of the whole book: compassionate, messy, and human. I could feel her struggle and determination in the early days of not knowing what to do but knowing she had to do better. It mirrored my own fumbling attempts to figure out how to support my kid.
Heather’s advice is practical but not preachy. The chapter about “embracing the journey” was an eye-opener. She talks about how parents need to accept their “movie reel” of what they thought their child’s life would be and let it go. I remember reading her list of “what not to say” and wincing because I’ve said some of those things. She gently guides you to shift your mindset without making you feel like a failure. That balance of tough love and encouragement is what makes this book so powerful.
What really stuck with me were the sections on educating yourself and leaning into discomfort. Heather lays out why unlearning biases is just as important as learning about LGBTQ+ issues. One part that hit hard was her reflection on how her son’s fear of rejection stemmed from things she didn’t even realize were hurtful. Like small comments, assumptions, and the culture they grew up in. It made me think about the little ways I might have made my own teen feel unseen. It’s not easy to sit with that discomfort, but it’s how we grow.
By the end, I was ready to embrace her final pillar: love. She explains that love isn’t just an abstract feeling but a daily practice. Loving unconditionally doesn’t mean you won’t mess up, but it means showing up anyway, learning from your mistakes, and being a safe space for your child. Her suggestions, like using humor to diffuse tension or practicing mindfulness, were simple but impactful. It reminded me that I’m still learning, just like my kid, and that’s okay.
I’d recommend this book to any parent with an LGBTQ+ child, whether you’re just starting the journey or further along. It’s also a great read for allies and educators who want to better understand and support these kids. It’s a guide, a mirror, and, most importantly, a reminder that love really does lead the way.
Pages: 243 | ASIN : B0CW4P9T42
LITERARY TITAN 