Blog Archives
Formative Experiences
Actually Invisible centers around a gay high school teacher struggling with grief, marriage, and infertility as she faces public scrutiny following homophobic remarks from a student. Where did the idea for this novel come from?
The idea for this novel came from many of my lived experiences as a human, but particularly as a queer public school teacher. We make headlines, but our fears and daily lives are so rarely described anywhere. I wrote the book I had always wanted to read.
The novel moves between past and present in a way that lets memory actively shape the story. How did you structure that timeline?
I structured the timeline by thinking about what kinds of formative experiences could have informed Josie’s present mindset. This took quite a bit of outlining, but I wanted to make sure I highlighted that she is—as we all are—a culmination of every experience we’ve ever had. I think it also humanizes her even more for the reader.
How did you approach the school storyline and the dynamics of public scrutiny?
I took some stories I had heard about in the news and on social media and essentially combined them with the fears that sometimes kept me up at night.
What is one thing you hope readers take away from Actually Invisible?
I hope readers take away the idea that all anyone wants is to feel seen, understood, and valued. We are all on this Earth searching for those things. Queer teachers are in a unique, complicated position where that experience can be dangerous, but it’s also worthwhile to take the risk, not only for ourselves and our mental health but also for representation for our students—queer and otherwise.
Author Links: GoodReads | TikTok | Instagram | Facebook | Website | Amazon
…until a student comes out to her in a writing assignment, and she is thrust into a small-town spotlight. As the target of the student’s angry parents and a slew of anonymous threats, Josie must decide if it’s finally time to speak up for herself and risk her job, her family, and her ambivalence.
Actually Invisible
Actually Invisible is a contemporary literary novel that follows Josie Rein-Thompson, a gay high school English teacher trying to hold together grief, marriage, motherhood, fertility struggles, and a sudden wave of public scrutiny after a student’s homophobic comment turns her private life into a community issue. The book moves between Josie’s present-day life in 2019 and earlier moments from her youth, letting us see how her bond with her late father, her first experiences of desire, and her long habit of making herself smaller all feed into the woman she has become. By the end, the story brings those threads together in a way that feels earned, with Josie finding both public affirmation and a deeply personal bit of hope.
Author Elisa Greb does not try to make Josie neat or polished all the time, and I appreciated that. She is funny, sharp, insecure, loving, petty, generous, exhausted, and very believable. The voice has that intimate quality where it feels like someone is telling you the truth before they have had time to clean it up. I liked that a lot. The book is at its best when it trusts ordinary moments to carry emotional weight: a classroom exchange, a fertility appointment, a memory in a car, a glance across a room. Even when the novel gets heavy, it keeps its feet on the ground.
I also admired the author’s structural choices. The back-and-forth timeline could have felt busy, but here it works because the past is not just background. It keeps answering the present. Josie’s father is not treated like a sentimental device. He feels like a living force in the book, especially through the robin motif, which could have been too much in another novel but works here because it grows naturally out of memory, grief, and repetition. The school storyline is handled with more nuance than I expected. The novel is clearly angry about prejudice, but it is more interested in the daily wear of being made visible on other people’s terms, and in the quiet bravery it takes to stop apologizing for existing. That landed hard for me.
I would recommend Actually Invisible most to readers who like character-driven fiction, queer fiction, and contemporary literary novels that care more about emotional truth than flashy plot. It will especially speak to people drawn to stories about teachers, family grief, chosen family, and the strange mix of tenderness and fury involved in being seen clearly at last. I think readers who want a reflective, intimate novel with a steady heart will get the most from it. It is not trying to dazzle. It is trying to be honest. And for me, that honesty is exactly what gives it its power.
Pages: 298 | ASIN : B0CW1M5M7W
Just Love Them & Support Them
Parenting with Pride is a lifeline for parents navigating the journey of raising LGBTQ+ teens and is structured around four pillars: Embrace, Educate, Empower, and Love, with each chapter guiding readers through emotions, challenges, and growth. Why was this an important book for you to write?
Writing and journaling have always been a big part of who I am and how I express myself. I kept copious notes on all of the meetings with the dozens of professionals we worked with in those first 18 months, and having the escape of just pouring all of my thoughts and feelings onto a page was quite literally a life saver for me. As we landed on more solid ground I realized that I needed to share our story with all of its vulnerability and space for evolution so that others would realize they are not alone. I knew I could write something that was engaging and real in a way that could help so many people without shaming or isolating anyone. It was also important that there was space for reflection and prompts to help the reader really connect with where they are now and where they wish to be.
I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?
I knew that in order to convey our experiences, to really honor what each of us went through and learned, I would need to put myself back in time. I would meditate and get really quiet so I could access all of the feelings and thoughts and then record them. It was particularly difficult writing about almost losing Connor to suicide, although the editing process zoomed out quite a bit from the gritty emotion of the first draft. If you read anything and thought “wow, that’s intense” or “that must have been so difficult, ” know that I felt it over and over again as I wrote and edited the book.
What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?
Oh my goodness, so many! The four pillars really helped me organize everything I wanted to share with readers in a way that I hope will help them remember. I think there are essentially four main ideas: 1. Embrace the messiness and the unknown. Embrace that there is no such thing as a perfect parent and that some of the best moments are found in owning our mistakes and modeling being human. 2. We ALL have biases, that is not a judgement call, and we are ALL capable of unlearning and evolving. 3. Learning to trust yourself and set healthly boundaries is so empowering, which then allows you the knowledge, space, and ability to empower your kids. 4. More than anything else in the world, our kids just need us to see them, hear them, and love them without conditions or spirit of transactionality.
What do you hope is one thing readers take away from your book?
Your child, friend, or colleague sharing their sexuality or gender identity with you is a gift. It takes courage and vulnerability. Trust that they know who they are and just love them and support them.
Author Links: GoodReads | Website
Your kid just came out to you, and amid the flurry of emotion or worry you might feel, you know you would do anything to protect their health and happiness. And you are not alone! Heather Hester, coach, advocate, and host of the #1 rated podcast, Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen, combines an honest retelling of her own son’s coming-out experience with wide-ranging research, conversations with dozens of professionals, and the unique experiences of other families to provide the ultimate guidebook for parents embarking on this journey.
In Parenting with Pride: Unlearn Bias and Embrace, Empower, and Love Your LGBTQ+ Teen, Hester provides parents and caregivers with four transformations that gently, but purposefully, walk them through the four pillars toward fully supporting and loving your LGBTQ+ child: Embrace, Educate (or Unlearn), Empower, Love.
With trustworthy information and an accessible, straightforward plan, Parenting with Pride provides actionable yet profound tools and mental shifts to help parents support their teens and themselves and to be a catalyst for change in their communities.
Parenting with Pride: Unlearn Bias and Embrace, Empower, and Love Your LGBTQ+ Teen
Parenting with Pride by Heather Hester is a lifeline for parents navigating the journey of raising LGBTQ+ teens. The book is structured around four pillars: Embrace, Educate, Empower, and Love, with each chapter guiding readers through emotions, challenges, and growth. Heather’s personal story as a mother of a gay teen is both raw and relatable. It’s a book that reassures you that you’re not alone while offering practical advice to love and support your child authentically.
Right off the bat, I was pulled in by Heather’s honesty. Her opening story about her son Connor’s coming out after a terrifying night where he went missing made my chest tight. It was such a real, imperfect moment of relief and love. That’s the tone of the whole book: compassionate, messy, and human. I could feel her struggle and determination in the early days of not knowing what to do but knowing she had to do better. It mirrored my own fumbling attempts to figure out how to support my kid.
Heather’s advice is practical but not preachy. The chapter about “embracing the journey” was an eye-opener. She talks about how parents need to accept their “movie reel” of what they thought their child’s life would be and let it go. I remember reading her list of “what not to say” and wincing because I’ve said some of those things. She gently guides you to shift your mindset without making you feel like a failure. That balance of tough love and encouragement is what makes this book so powerful.
What really stuck with me were the sections on educating yourself and leaning into discomfort. Heather lays out why unlearning biases is just as important as learning about LGBTQ+ issues. One part that hit hard was her reflection on how her son’s fear of rejection stemmed from things she didn’t even realize were hurtful. Like small comments, assumptions, and the culture they grew up in. It made me think about the little ways I might have made my own teen feel unseen. It’s not easy to sit with that discomfort, but it’s how we grow.
By the end, I was ready to embrace her final pillar: love. She explains that love isn’t just an abstract feeling but a daily practice. Loving unconditionally doesn’t mean you won’t mess up, but it means showing up anyway, learning from your mistakes, and being a safe space for your child. Her suggestions, like using humor to diffuse tension or practicing mindfulness, were simple but impactful. It reminded me that I’m still learning, just like my kid, and that’s okay.
I’d recommend this book to any parent with an LGBTQ+ child, whether you’re just starting the journey or further along. It’s also a great read for allies and educators who want to better understand and support these kids. It’s a guide, a mirror, and, most importantly, a reminder that love really does lead the way.
Pages: 243 | ASIN : B0CW4P9T42
Already Home: Confronting the Trauma of Adoption
Already Home: Confronting the Trauma of Adoption by Howard Frederick Ibach presents an insightful and deeply personal exploration of the emotional complexities associated with adoption. As an adoptee, Ibach brings a unique perspective to this topic, combining his personal experiences with extensive research to offer a nuanced understanding of the psychological challenges faced by adoptees.
This book takes the reader on a journey through the intricate emotional landscape that adoption creates. Ibach’s use of personal anecdotes alongside scholarly research enriches the narrative, making it informative and highly relatable. This blend of storytelling and academic inquiry allows the book to resonate with a broad audience, including those touched by adoption and individuals looking to comprehend its profound impact. A key aspect of Already Home is the detailed exploration of the enduring effects of adoption trauma. Ibach navigates the complex themes of grief, loss, and identity with sensitivity and depth. His analysis illuminates the ongoing emotional journey of adoptees, moving beyond the initial adoption experience to spotlight the lasting implications. The book emphasizes the necessity of recognizing and addressing these emotional challenges to facilitate healing and well-being.
Ibach’s inclusion of the adoptive parents’ perspective introduces a comprehensive view of the adoption experience. He advocates for open dialogue and empathy between adoptees and their families, underscoring the need for a nurturing environment conducive to healing. While at times emotionally charged, this book is ultimately a testament to resilience and hope. Ibach’s empathetic writing style and thoughtful insights make the book an invaluable tool for adoptees, adoptive parents, and professionals in the field. It serves as a compassionate guide to understanding and navigating adoption’s intricate emotional journey.
Already Home is a profound and engaging work that delves into the multifaceted nature of adoption trauma. Ibach’s blend of personal vulnerability and scholarly research makes this a significant addition to adoption literature. It is a highly recommended read for anyone involved in or affected by adoption, offering a pathway to empathy and understanding in the complex world of adoption-related emotions.
Pages: 262 | ASIN : B0CNYJH4HC
