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I Needed to Write the Truth

Kate Armistead
Kate Armistead Author Interview

Tales of a Butterfly details your emotional journey being a first-time mother and learning that your child has deafness. Why was this an important memoir for you to write?

This book is a personal reflection of my raw experiences, I originally started to write this story for my daughter. But then once I finished the Memoir, I realised I may not be alone in these feelings and experiences. That other first-time mums may have had these feelings and gone through the same or similar diagnosis for their baby or child. I also believed other people in our society needed to see the impacts and challenges we face every day, there choices plus reactions reflect on our children’s learning and development.

I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest experience for you to share with readers?

My hardest experience to share with my readers would have to be the public view on disability and hard of hearing children, how I have encountered it myself with my butterfly girl. It was raw to write, and I felt I needed to write the truth for people to really feel how we felt at those particular moments. I share my frustration loudly and the truth behind the effects of it in the pages of my story. I wanted my writing style to come through as though I was sitting there next to you telling you a story. As though I was talking to you.

What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?

I really wanted to share the process from birth to getting the final diagnosis of hard of hearing, I wanted to share the emotional strain from the beginning to the end; and the fact it is still happening today with many challenges though living in the country. I wanted people to view my story and relate to it in their own way but also reflect how it must feel and be in my or my butterfly girls’ shoes. I emphasised how she grew older in my memoir and how she learned from the environments around her which then helped shape me as the mother and teacher I am today.

I wanted the readers to really feel…

I wanted the readers to feel the emotions I felt, I wanted to express the experiences we went through in details so you could feel and imagine it yourself. Wanting the readers to laugh out loud but also feel sadness and reflection upon themselves. I want the readers to feel what it’s like to be in my shoes and highlight deaf perspectives, from a mothers view and the child.

What is one thing you hope readers take away from your memoir?

I hope readers reflect on the small things around them, to be grateful and respect everyone’s differences. Above all I want people to realise disability and deafness does not restrict a person from growing and learning it just changes the growing styles and learning perspectives, a new outlook on life learning. I really hope people enjoy my memoir ‘Tales of a Butterfly’, it is heartfelt and raw, full of my true experiences with my butterfly girl.

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Tales of a Butterfly reflects my personal experiences of being a first-time mother and discovering my child has deafness. Focusing on our journey together with my daughter, it’s about not understanding the process of hearing loss, along with the diagnosis and learning what the definition of deafness really is. It’s about realising our lives were going to change forever and this was our new normal; but then again, what was normal, as this was our first child. We did not know any different, just that from day one we had emotions, stress and anxieties racing through our minds. I share our experiences with the professionals we had to see regularly for her diagnosis and express the stress we encountered with the isolation struggles we faced by living in the country. I faced new emotional stress with today’s society by being a mother of a child with a permanent disability. It discusses how we were viewed in the public eye and how I felt about it, and how I had to change my perspective on life around me to be the mother I am today. But above all it’s about learning a new perspective on life with deaf acceptance, and the view from my daughter’s eyes and ears. My butterfly girl taught me a new outlook on life learning, and I reflect on how this has changed as she grew older and learned in the environments around her.

Tales of a Butterfly

Tales of a Butterfly details the emotional journey of Kate Armistead, as she and her husband find out that their baby girl is deaf. She describes their heartbreaking, and uplifting, experiences as they discover their child’s hearing loss and their odyssey in learning about and coping with the disability, one in which they have never been around.

This is an impassioned memoir that I found to be very enlightening as well as moving. The author shares her thoughts and experiences in a free flowing and candid nature that captures the emotional turmoil that she went through. Readers can really appreciate Kate’s thoughts as a mother and the love she has for her daughter. I loved that her daughter’s nickname became “butterfly” as butterflies are silent yet beautiful. I also really appreciated how honest and raw she was about her experiences, never shying from letting the reader know she was scared and uncertain about what was to come and how others would react. In her recollections, she states how sometimes people jump to conclusions and assume that a child’s disability is a result of drug abuse by the parent. The stares she would get and interactions she would have with people in public, like raising their voices when talking to her, when they would see her daughter with her hearing aids. It really says a lot about people and their lack of respect for others. Her story not only gave me insight into her own daughter’s deafness but also shed light on the spectrum of obstacles that deaf people, and their families, are presented with. While speaking about her own experience in accommodating her daughter, it really made me think about the impact that my own actions have on other people that have disabilities.

Tales of a Butterfly is a great read for anyone who knows someone who is hard of hearing, but I think that this book will serve to educate everyone. It really provides insight to what a parent experiences and their own fears about the challenges their child will face. Tales of a Butterfly is honest and hopeful and I really enjoyed the glimpse into the author’s life with her daughter. This beautifully written memoir eloquently details an extraordinary journey that will stay with me for a long time.

Pages: 78 | ISBN: 0228847133

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