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Women in Predominantly Male Cultures
Dancing on Coals is a raw and riveting memoir that chronicles your lifelong pursuit of approval, identity, and peace, capturing the endless loop of seeking love through overachievement. Why was this an important book for you to write?
I wrote the book to try to integrate what felt like two sides within me. I had an extraverted, performative side, and yet deep within me was an introspective, contemplative side that held, I suspected, true wisdom. For many years these two sides were in conflict, battling over real estate in my psyche, but by writing this book and making sense of the full trajectory of my life, from launchpad of trauma to a landing pad of peace, I brought them together in a deeply healing way and came to accept myself more fully.
What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?
I wanted to discuss the role of women in predominantly male cultures, such as the theater at that time, and to question the power of Voice. Is the female Voice as respected and powerful as the male Voice in our culture? I don’t think so. I also wanted to highlight the roles psychotherapy and meditation can play in the process of healing and finding one’s true self. The false self gives way to the true self when we explore within, both through therapy and through the silent, transformational art of meditation.
I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?
The hardest thing to write about was my failure. I felt that I failed as an artist, mostly because I failed to be true to myself as an artist, playing a role designed for me from the outside rather than one that issued organically from the inside. But in fact, that failure launched me into the next phase of my life, which was finding my True North. If I hadn’t failed, I would never have embarked on that search and made that priceless discovery. I wouldn’t trade it for anything!
What do you hope is one thing readers take away from your story?
I hope readers can take away a visceral sense of the transformation of striving, efforting, and over-performing into calm, peaceful abiding and acceptance. I wanted to make these states sensorial, so that reading about my discovery of peace becomes a kind of transmission to the reader.
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In Dancing on Coals, Cynthia Moore describes a multi-decade, harebrained search for love in all the wrong places, starting when her narcissistic mother abandons her to a Swiss finishing school. Desperately seeking belonging, she leapfrogs from a polyamorous commune into a high-octane all-male performance group, dancing as if her life depends on it. When she finally quits the theater, earns a masters degree in psychology and develops her own therapeutic approach, she is able to heal herself and find the true belonging and peace she longs for.
At times humorous and self-deprecating, at times poignant and heartbreaking, this is the story of one woman’s path from abandonment to wholeness and authenticity.
DANCING ON COALS: A Memoir of an Overperformer
Cynthia Moore’s Dancing on Coals is a raw and riveting memoir chronicling her lifelong chase for approval, identity, and peace. From an uprooted childhood in the Bahamas and Swiss boarding schools to a theater-obsessed young adulthood filled with grueling performances, cult-like communes, and painful love affairs, Moore’s journey is one of constant striving. She captures the endless loop of seeking love through overachievement, shedding layers of artifice as she gropes her way toward authenticity. The book moves through decades of experiences from adolescence drenched in loneliness to womanhood edged with rage and revelation, painting a vivid portrait of a woman who’s learned to stop dancing for others and instead listen to herself.
What hit me hardest in Moore’s writing was how deeply personal it felt without veering into self-pity. Her voice is funny, whip-smart, and fierce even when recounting gutting experiences. Being shipped off to a “finishing zoo” in Switzerland, her mother’s clinical detachment, or performing theater under a sadistic Belgian director. The prose sparkles and burns, often in the same paragraph. She doesn’t pull punches, not with herself and not with the people who failed her. Still, there’s a strange grace in how she carries the pain, folding it into her voice without letting it define her. I found myself laughing in places I didn’t expect to, and aching with her in the next sentence. It’s a rare memoir that feels both deeply literary and emotionally honest.
This book left me stirred up, disoriented, and even a little angry. And that’s what makes it good. Moore doesn’t feed the reader polished wisdom; she invites you into the mess. Her reflections on womanhood, ambition, and the illusion of being “enough” hit close to the bone. She captures what it’s like to exhaust yourself trying to be wanted. And she names, in bright flashing letters, the insidious toll that takes.
If you’ve ever tried too hard, loved too much, or felt like you had to earn your spot in the room, Dancing on Coals will find you. This book is for readers who aren’t afraid to feel deeply, laugh through the tears, and question what we’ve been taught about success and self-worth. It’s especially meaningful for artists, perfectionists, and women raised to please. But really, it’s for anyone ready to quit performing and start living.
Pages: 198 | ASIN : B0D8RFNHJL
LITERARY TITAN 