The Dictionary of Missing Time, by Susan Eileen, is a memoir of addiction, family, relationships, mental health, and recovery organized through a clever personal lexicon. Each chapter takes its title from an expression Eileen has coined or adopted, such as “A Reverse Kafka,” “Memory Burn,” “Irish Goodbye,” and “Confident Humility,” then uses that phrase as an entry point into a particular period of her life. The dictionary framework gives shape to a story that ranges from a financially strained childhood in Ohio through marriage, motherhood, teaching, substance abuse, difficult relationships, legal trouble, and sobriety. Early in the book, Eileen describes her life as “a series of rambunctious events,” an apt description of a memoir that moves through painful and comic experiences with considerable energy.

Eileen’s voice is the book’s defining strength. She writes with candor about behavior that could easily be softened in retrospect, including drinking, pill abuse, financial instability, people-pleasing, damaged relationships, and the ways addiction consumed both her time and her attention. Her humor gives the book accessibility without erasing the seriousness of what she describes. The invented expressions are often funny, but they also function as compact explanations for recurring patterns of behavior. As the memoir progresses, these terms become a way for Eileen to name experiences she once struggled to understand. That approach is particularly effective because language itself becomes part of the recovery process: defining an experience allows her to examine it, connect it to the past, and decide what role it should have in her future.

The book also succeeds in presenting sobriety as a continuing process of self-examination. Eileen traces improvements in her work habits, finances, home life, boundaries, relationships, and ability to tolerate difficult emotions, while also examining transfer addiction and the patterns she carried from childhood and marriage into later relationships. Some of the memoir’s most thoughtful passages concern time, particularly the years and mental energy absorbed by addiction. Her observation that “Time can never be retrieved” gives the title its deeper significance. Recovery, in this telling, involves recognizing that lost time while becoming more deliberate about the time that remains. The result is a narrative concerned as much with identity, habits, and emotional maturity as with abstinence itself.

By the end, The Dictionary of Missing Time has become a record of reconstruction. Eileen arrives at a life built around simplicity, creative work, family, healthier boundaries, volunteering, and a more measured sense of self. Her idea of “confident humility,” defined as keeping one’s ego in proper proportion, neatly captures the balance she spends much of the book trying to establish. The closing sentiment, “I’ve built a life I don’t need a vacation from,” gives the memoir an especially fitting conclusion because it measures recovery through ordinary contentment. Eileen has created a personal recovery memoir with an unusual organizing principle, a conversational voice, and a clear interest in how people can use language, reflection, and self-knowledge to make sense of a complicated life.

Pages: 268 | ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0CTN1NJWW