Relationships are hard work. Psychologists who work with couples, like Dr. Alyson Nerenberg, make their living helping others do that hard work. In her recent book, No Perfect Love, Dr. Nerenberg writes about the difficulties couples can face, and how to work on and overcome them. Each chapter details an element of a relationship. These elements range from adaptive strategies, like forgiveness and healthy boundaries, to pitfalls, like perfectionism and relationship dysfunction. Dr. Nerenberg then illustrates each relationship element with a story from her clinical practice and concludes the chapters with relationship exercises that can be done alone or with a partner.

I picked up this book expecting to go on a journey where I would examine my relationship and find new ways to make it better. For the most part, No Perfect Love delivers that. I especially appreciated the clinical stories, which I found perfectly paired with the concepts they were supposed to explain. These stories also help reframe some truly difficult times in a relationship, like addiction and infidelity, in a non-judgemental, therapeutic way. The exercises that follow each chapter are also helpful and constructive; these are exercises anyone can benefit from, even if their relationships are already healthy.

Dr. Nerenberg presents her material with a relatable, conversational style. At times the subject matter is uncomfortable, but Dr. Nerenberg makes the conversation comfortable for the reader. She introduces some psychological concepts that may not be familiar to laypeople, but she explains these clearly. However, sometimes she refers to uncited research to support her points, I expect this is because Dr. Nerenberg is drawing on years of clinical practice. This book addresses conventional relationship issues with conventional psychological approaches.

No Perfect Love is a relatable self-help book, filled with useful explanations and practical exercises that promise to improve one’s relationship. I think it would be beneficial for most couples to read this and do the work recommended in it.

Pages: 111

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