Unstuck digs into the everyday mess of self-sabotage and shows how it hides in fear, doubt, old stories, and protective habits that keep us spinning in place, rather than providing readers with practical tools to build new habits. What inspired you to write Unstuck?

Unstuck was inspired by watching capable, self-aware people repeatedly blame themselves for patterns they didn’t choose. I kept seeing the same frustration show up in different forms, like overthinking, hesitation, perfectionism, and a constant sense of starting over. Most of these people weren’t lacking insight or intelligence. They were responding to fear in ways that once made sense but no longer served them. I wrote Unstuck to explain that experience clearly and to offer practical tools that help people move forward without shame, force, or pressure.

You emphasize that self-sabotage is not a personal flaw. Why is that reframe so important?

Because when people see self-sabotage as a flaw, they respond with self-criticism, and self-criticism almost always strengthens the pattern. The behaviors we call self-sabotage are usually protective responses shaped by fear, conditioning, and past experience. Reframing them this way allows people to work with their nervous system instead of fighting it. Once someone understands that their reactions are learned rather than broken, change becomes something they can practice instead of something they feel judged for.

What patterns do you see most often in people who feel “stuck”?

The most common pattern is overthinking as a form of protection. People delay action while searching for certainty, replay decisions to avoid risk, or use preparation and perfectionism as a way to stay safe. I also see avoidance disguised as productivity and a harsh inner dialogue that erodes self-trust over time. These patterns are subtle, which is why awareness and repetition matter more than dramatic insight. 

What does “being unstuck” look like long-term, not just in a breakthrough moment?

Long-term change looks quieter than people expect. Being unstuck means noticing fear without letting it decide, responding instead of reacting, and choosing smaller, steadier actions that build trust over time. That’s also why I created the UNSTUCK Workbook as a companion for readers who want help applying the ideas consistently. The goal isn’t a single breakthrough. It’s learning how to practice awareness, regulation, and follow-through in everyday situations so progress holds.

 
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