In Search of Mr. Darcy is your heartfelt coming-of-middle-age memoir sharing the struggles with finding love and friendship and wondering if the elusive Mr Darcy is out there. Why was this an important book for you to write?

So many women I know have gotten sideswiped and swallowed up by the unforeseen pressures of bad relationships, affairs, cheating spouses, single parenting, or even step-parenting. Why is our life not like every fairy tale we were told or even every Jane Austen novel we have ever read? Where is my Prince Charming? Where is my Mr Darcy? And why don’t I look like Jennifer Lopez at 50? And at some point over the age of 40, we find ourselves staring into that bathroom mirror and asking that one monumental question that universally ties us all together, “How the fuck did I get here, and more importantly, who can I blame?” This book was important to write because it reminds us that we are not alone. And the more we women share, the more we realize just how much we have in common.

I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?

The hardest thing to write about was the highs and very low lows about parenting and step-parenting. It is the hardest job in the world, right up there with Chilean coal miners, and potentially as dangerous. As parents, we are deeply flawed human beings, but that is never from a lack of trying or loving. I think what made this so hard was that there were bigger, rawer lessons to be learned and felt. Relationships can come and go, but your life as a parent is forever. Or, to quote my father when he talked about raising children, “Christina, remember, the first 40 years are the hardest.”

What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?

One of the themes that runs through this book is the importance of friends. They are our real soulmates; they have earned that distinction. These are the squad who would break you out of a Turkish prison, stop you from drunk dialing your ex at 1:00 in the morning or give you an alibi that would stand up in court. And as we get older and come of age, middle age, we have to learn to tell the difference between friends and frenemies. And although not all problems can be solved by day-drinking or assault eating, and not all friendships are meant to last forever (or even past high school) friendships will get your though all of life’s unscheduled crap.

What is one thing you hope readers take away from your story?

The single most important takeaway is simply this. Those men who have come in (and/or out) of our lives, those relationships, do not define us. They are merely a chapter in our story, and do not get to decide how it ends. We do.

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