Praying for a Wounded Child is a devotional prayer guide designed specifically for family members and caregivers of children who have been victims of trauma. Why was this an important book for you to write?

After perusing numerous books on prayer for one’s children as well as books on traumatized children, I noted a clear absence of books on praying specifically for traumatized children. Thus, I felt that foster parents and adoptive parents, as well as families facing battles, could best be strengthened by combining prayers along with information and guidance on traumatized children.

My heart’s desire herein is to spiritually, emotionally, and practically support those brave parents who deeply love and advocate for their wounded children. Briefly, too, I sought to use my education and experience as a mental health therapist and hospital chaplain as well as my trajectory as a parent to kids from hard places.

The book begins with the caregiver’s relationship with God before focusing on the child. Why was that sequence important to you?

This is an excellent question, and this order was intentional. An ocean of wisdom and strength is available in the Lord, as He can truly comfort and guide one. Moreover, checking the motives of one’s heart and offering forgiveness, even mentally, can liberate a caregiver’s mind and soul. Therefore, the critical area of forgiveness is duly explored.

In exploring forgiveness and various other aspects of a caregiver’s relationship with God, my intention was to first seek restoration and renewal for the caregiver spiritually as well as replenishment. Obviously, replenishment, renewal, and restoration are needed for a caregiver to give from a full bucket, as that saying goes.

What do you think caregivers often misunderstand about trauma in children?

Akin to grief, trauma in children is not the same as trauma with adults.

Generally, children lack critical thinking skills until roughly age 12 and sometimes even later, particularly with boys. Children’s verbal and processing skills are not fully established and present as their brains are still developing. Adults may be able to heal somewhat through verbalization, yet a child may need art or play with a healthy adult to begin to openly verbalize (and it may be minimal) or process their pain.

Children’s language, love language, and often their healing mechanism is play. And yes, a gift one can give to a child is to enter his or her world and play with what the child is drawn to, even if the child is not significantly wounded.

Additionally and notably, the child’s emotions may seem frozen or buried after the trauma, unlike some adults.

Thus, support groups for children where they are present with other children who have been traumatized, especially with a similar trauma, may help relieve the pain in a safe environment. These groups also may address and free a wounded child from a sense of loneliness and isolation in their pain. Examples are grief groups for kids (often found through hospices), Alateen, and foster care and adoption groups for kids.

I also wish to discourage parents from unknowingly denying or suppressing a child’s pain when the emotions come forth. Compensation, such as taking them out for ice cream, promising a gift, etc., is so easy to offer to stop the tears, big emotions, etc.

I totally understand that, and honestly, have been guilty of that as well. I truly believe this is a knee-jerk parental reaction, as it hurts us to see our child in pain.

Yet compassionate listening with statements such as, “I am so glad you are sharing this with me,” “Tell me more.” “I am not leaving you. I love you.” and “Please keep talking. I want to just listen to you.” or “I am here for you.” can heal, ensure a child’s safety with emotions, and facilitate a depth of bonding.

If a reader could take away one truth from Praying for a Wounded Child, what would you want it to be?

Raising a wounded child can be a profound vehicle to make us like Christ, meaning drawing one to Him as well as learning to respond to the child in a Christlike manner. Rather than viewing this as a burden (which can be easy to do as a human being), one can have the perspective of seeing this journey as a means to deeper prayer, a more understanding and empathetic walk with the wounded, and an opportunity to seek the heart of God for a wounded child.

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