Blog Archives
“I Just Want to Be Happy”: How to Get More of the Life You Want (And Less of the One You Don’t)
I Just Want to Be Happy by Heidi McKenzie is a refreshingly practical guide to enhancing mental well-being and embracing happiness in daily life. Grounded in research and brimming with actionable advice, the book delves into overcoming loneliness, cultivating positive habits, practicing gratitude, and tapping into the transformative power of nature and expressive writing. McKenzie seamlessly combines relatable anecdotes with science-backed strategies, crafting a roadmap to a more meaningful and joyful existence. From the serenity of birdwatching to the reflective practice of journaling, the book inspires readers to challenge negative thought patterns and make lasting, impactful changes.
Dr. McKenzie doesn’t just throw facts at you, she makes them stick. She discusses how singing can boost mood and reduce anxiety. I loved her personal anecdote about a roommate whose voice filled their loft with joy. This chapter was a standout for me because it made happiness feel accessible, even on the hardest days. The concept of behavioral activation, “just doing it,” resonates as a no-nonsense strategy to break free from inertia.
The book also shines in how it reframes common barriers to happiness. Dr. McKenzie’s exploration of hobbies was eye-opening. Her honesty about being “hobby-impaired” at one point in her life made me laugh and reflect. The story of her client, Holly, who “failed” to make bad pottery but ended up with a charming bowl, felt like a gentle nudge to embrace imperfection. It’s inspiring to think that hobbies don’t require talent, just curiosity and the willingness to try. This chapter reminded me that the pursuit of joy doesn’t have to be serious business.
Dr. McKenzie’s candid story about a neon-green jumpsuit and the subsequent mortification it caused was a perfect setup for her advice on overcoming the fear of judgment. The practical steps she outlined, like intentionally doing something “foolish,” were both hilarious and transformative. It made me reflect on how much I’ve let fear hold me back. Her advice to lean into discomfort, whether it’s through exposure therapy or reframing worst-case scenarios, felt actionable and empowering.
I Just Want to Be Happy is an invaluable resource for anyone feeling stuck or striving to create a more fulfilling life. McKenzie goes beyond fleeting happiness, guiding readers toward sustainable habits and deeper personal growth. Her insights are both accessible and empowering, making this book a must-read for anyone on a journey of self-improvement.
Pages: 170 | ASIN : B0DN2K2HXN
Strength of Authenticity
In Your REAL Life: Get Authentic, Be Resilient & Make It Count!, you provide readers with a framework for coping with adversity and fostering resilience. What inspired you to write this book?
For many years I contemplated what was the formula or the “special sauce” I was using to get through some really hard things in my life. Growing up in Columbus, Ohio and then living around the world in far-away places like New York, Los Angeles, Tokyo, Hong Kong, and Singapore, I came to experience some really catastrophic moments of adversity. 9/11 (Terror attacks) to 3/11 (Earthquake-Tsunami-Nuclear meltdown) and so many things in between, but I’d made it out ok, unscathed. I actually had a former teacher of mine comment and ask, “What is it that you do that enables you to get through all of the crappy things in life?”
I didn’t really know. I didn’t think it was luck, nor did I think it was any one singular skill. I worked to answer this question, but importantly, as I came to find the answer I wanted to create a tool (mostly) for myself. As I got going in making this blue print, through reflection and my life learnings, I realized the “formula” for success was the (now) REAL Model. Putting it together turned into quite a “field guide” of resources and ideas. In many ways, writing the book was also a journey of realization, acceptance, purpose, and self love– all of which are sources of inspiration and themes in the book.
How much research did you undertake for this book, and how much time did it take to put it all together?
My whole lifetime has been research for this book! Ha! But seriously, as a veteran HR practitioner and certified coach and leadership executive, I started to formulate the ideas for the book about ten years ago. I was seeing a lot of people, leaders and managers suffer at work for failing to be their authentic selves AND not being able to cope with change or adversities that arise at work. It was during the covid pandemic that I actually started to put pen to paper and outlined my ideas. The pandemic (and book delivery services) provided the heaps of time I needed to read and thoroughly review scholarly literature and the science. The goal of the book was to pull together all the science and make a practical ‘one-stop-shop’ resource for people, so they wouldn’t have to read everything I did. The research and writing took about a year. It was the editing and final elements of publishing that took me much longer. In the end it was about an eighteen month process. Nevertheless, the book and model stand grounded in psychology and neuroscience but breathe life into concepts for winning at life and work, ultimately achieving a life filled with wellbeing and joy.
What is one piece of advice someone gave you that changed your life?
“Don’t ever stop being you. You’re the only one (of you).” The first time I heard this, I was struggling with being my whole self. I was struggling with my LGBTQ identity and how I wanted to show up in the world. These words hit me powerfully and forced me to actually celebrate my core value and strength of authenticity. I think once I fully embraced these words, there was no going back.
What is the next book you are working on, and when will it be available?
I have two concepts in outline form and I’m slowly working on both. The first is an adaptation of Your REAL Life— which will be about applying the REAL Model to organizations and businesses. The second is a book about mental health and positive aging while using the REAL Model to achieve a mid-life (and beyond) of wellbeing and joy. You know its easier to write books than to publicise them, so one book at a time! Both are in development — so watch this space!
Author Links: GoodReads | LinkedIn | Instagram | Website | Amazon
Nathan Andres has ridden life’s roller-coaster and is often asked the secret to his resiliency. After years of research, education, practice, and reflection, he’s not only found the answer, but turned it into a formula anyone can use.
Your REAL Life introduces the REAL model, a practical framework for coaching yourself through adversity of any scale. Using the anchors of Reality, Energy, Authenticity, and Love, Nathan breaks down the key ingredient to beating anything life throws at you: authentic resilience.
Grounded with psychology and basic neuroscience as well as best practices in the coaching field, Your Real Life teaches you everything you need to know to build authentic resilience. When you get REAL, you don’t just bounce back from hardship-you bounce beyond it.
We Need Change
Brainwashed: A True Story of Psychological Domestic Abuse And The PTSD Aftermath shares your story, scientific evidence on the impact of abuse, and the importance of breaking the cycles. Why was this an important book for you to write?
Issues such as Childhood Psychological Abuse and how that can affect someone’s later life and acceptance of domestic violence, and then PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) are all currently such important issues yet so very poorly understood. It’s my hope that Brainwashed will help to change that situation.
I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?
Initially, I published the book in 2014, but then almost immediately withdrew it from publication because I did not want to be publicly reminded of my early life. But living through the most bizarre string of distressing experiences in 2022, that I talk about in Chapter 27, I knew I had to re-structure and republish the book, which I did in 2023. And so the hardest part was having to re-live all those horrific life experiences once again, that I’d previously written about.
What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?
Interestingly, when I first published the book the most important ideas to get out were to do with childhood psychological abuse and psychological domestic violence and the reason why people, especially women, remain in abusive relationships. But after this past horrific year, which is still playing out, suddenly, the most important part was to let the world know MUCH more about PTSD. PTSD, is now one of the leading mental health issues in most countries around the world. BUT very few people realise that it is NOT just a MENTAL health issue, but can also result in physical brain damage, and that a trauma can be locked in your brain for life, waiting to escape at any time, as it did for me in 2022. So now the most important chapters are those on PTSD—Chapters 23 to 27.
What is a common misconception you feel people have about psychological abuse?
Sadly, even today in 2023, those people lucky enough to have avoided a mental health issue, or who don’t have the courage to admit to having a mental health issue, still have a very denigrating attitude to anyone who is a mental health sufferer. You can have a broken leg and everyone will support you and totally accept it as tough luck. But have any sort of “broken” brain and all too often you’ll be treated like a second-class citizen, or worse. This must change.
Author Links: Website
Psychological Domestic Abuse, experienced as a child, a teen, or an adult in an intimate relationship, can have life-long effects, including the making of disastrous decisions, and on to PTSD, unless it’s understood and the victim/survivor is helped to summon the courage to do what it takes to heal.
After thirty odd years of relentless searching, at the age of sixty-three, Kashonia finally discovered that her greatest enemy was her psychologically abusive childhood. Before that, she’d always thought she’d had a relatively good childhood. Why? Because she hadn’t been physically or sexually abused as a child.
But the subtle psychological abuse she received as a child through until she was twenty was what predisposed her to accept, as “normal”, a very psychologically, and sometimes physically, abusive marriage.
Yet, no matter who read about Kashonia’s event-filled life, the only thing they recognized were the handful of physically violent experiences. They completely dismissed the far more insidious on-going psychological abuse.
It was clear that the only way to help people understand society’s monstrous, hidden epidemic of psychological abuse was to overtly explain it as she told her story. And this is what Kashonia has inspirationally done in Brainwashed.
In Brainwashed, Kashonia’s wry sense of humor occasionally appears as she uses forty years of Behavioral Science, Neuroscience, and Neurolinguistics research to overtly explain her extraordinary life of psychological abuse, its devastating PTSD aftermath, and why people stay in abusive relationships.
Courageously, she shares the serendipitous source of her most significant transformation which gave her the strength to escape her abusive marriage. This was also the mostly unlikely source of her spiritual journey, which has kept her going through the really tough times ever since.
Kashonia’s story is true for more people than we realize. Sadly, all too often the victim/survivors of psychological abuse don’t even realize they’ve been abused.
So her story and her greatest enemy could well be your story and your greatest enemy too.
Today, Kashonia is a Moral Philosopher with a PhD in the Ethics of Conscious Change and author of the Multi-Award-Winning Conscious Change Series of books. It was her life, as documented in Brainwashed that led her to research and write the Conscious Change Series.
In 2023, with a growing concern about mental health and PTSD in non-combatants, Brainwashed is extremely timely for a number of reasons.Brainwashed will be of comfort to other victim/survivors of psychological abuse, in helping them understand at a deeper psychological level, why they do/did make the decisions that they did.
It will also give those very lucky people, who’ve not endured what we victim/survivors have experienced, a greater appreciation of the complexities of psychological abuse, where the scars are all on the inside.
Brainwashed also highlights the life-long psychological damage that negative childhood conditioning can have.
It’s a reminder to psychologists, that even if their client insists they’ve had a good childhood, it must still be explored.
And with the growing community concern about mental health and the area of PTSD, Brainwashed will shed a vital light on what that can be like, and how Kashonia was able to heal.
Order your copy of Brainwashed now—available in Kindle/e-book, paperback, and hardback formats and soon as an audiobook.
Brainwashed
Brainwashed: A True Story of Psychological Domestic Abuse And The PTSD Aftermath, authored by Dr. Kashonia Carnegie, is a literary work that seamlessly blends memoir and psychological analysis to provide a comprehensive understanding of the aftermath of psychological abuse. Dr. Carnegie’s personal experience as a survivor of psychological abuse, combined with her extensive research in human behavior and neuroscience spanning over forty years, makes this book a compelling read. Through her personal story, Dr. Carnegie sheds light on the often-neglected aspect of domestic abuse – psychological abuse. In addition, she explains the reasons why victims remain in such relationships and how they can safely seek help and break free from the harmful cycle.
The book is a perfect blend of raw human emotions, insightful storytelling, and scientific explanations, making it a must-read for anyone interested in psychology and mental health. The book also delves into the role of childhood conditioning and attachment in shaping our lives. Dr. Carnegie highlights how early childhood experiences can impact an individual’s entire life and how parents and guardians play a crucial role in creating a secure attachment with their children. The book emphasizes the importance of creating emotionally stable children who grow up to appreciate their self-worth and form healthy relationships, thereby breaking the cycle of abuse. Brainwashed raises pertinent questions about societal issues, emphasizing that psychological abuse is a widespread problem that has been happening for centuries. The book underscores the need for awareness and changes in behavior to tackle the issue effectively. The author’s personal experience and insights make the book relatable and engaging, making it a valuable resource for professionals and students in the field of psychology and mental health.
Brainwashed: A True Story of Psychological Domestic Abuse And The PTSD Aftermath is an eye-opening memoir into the world of psychological abuse. I highly recommend this thought-provoking and impactful read that will inspire readers to take action toward creating a kinder and more empathetic society. Dr. Carnegie’s efforts in sharing her story and contributing to the lives of readers and victims worldwide are commendable.
Pages: 476 | ASIN : B0BRQMX3LT
LITERARY TITAN 