Blog Archives
Grief Is Unique
Sixteen Days is an emotional memoir and enlightening handbook on grief. Why was this an important book for you to write?
It was important to write the book as so many people said to me, and to my family “I don’t know what to say” when my niece, Mary-Lou died. And I’d been in a similar position too, when attempting to support friends and colleagues who’d experienced bereavements. Whilst grief is unique, there are some things which, in my view, are probably helpful to many people. I wanted to share these to help other people feel more confident to know what to say, when someone dies.
What is one thing many people struggle with while grieving and what advice would you give them?
One thing is the weight of other people’s expectations. This is something I think many find hard. There can be expectations that the grieving person might behave in a certain way, and their journey of recovery, in the sense of feeling better, will be linear and will get better over time. I’d advise grieving people to be aware that despite what other people might think, say or do, it’s OK to feel the way you do. Go at your own pace, listen to yourself, work out what helps you to feel a bit better than you do right now – and do more of that.
What is one thing someone can do to support someone else that is grieving. And what is one thing they should not do?
If you’re trying to support grieving people, the best advice I can offer is to be there. You don’t have to fix the grieving person – despite how much you’d like to – be there to listen, to empathise, to agree that it’s utterly awful that their loved one has died and listen and watch for their cues on how you can help them. There’s no universal truth on the right or wrong things to do – but one I’d say is quite surely something to avoid is making assumptions about how the person is thinking or feeling. Whilst tempting, it’s thought to be unhelpful to suggest you “know how they feel” – even if you’ve experienced the same bereavement, all relationships are unique so the grief will be, too.
What do you hope is one thing readers take away from your book?
I hope readers take away some really practical things that anyone can do in the very early days following a death and, as such, they will feel more comfortable speaking to grievers. Many readers have said they’ll refer back to the book and that’s great to think I’ve created a resource that people might want to return to.
Author Interview: GoodReads | Twitter | Facebook | Website
She’s 22.
Everyone wants to help. Few know what to say and do.
Sad, funny, honest accounts. All true.
How we were supported, what worked for us, and what experts say.
Read Sixteen Days by Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, Victoria Wilson-Crane, Ph.D. Be confident supporting others in shock and grief.
Sixteen Days
Sixteen Days is a beautiful work by Victoria Wilson-Crane constituting the sudden death of a young woman named Mary Lou, who happened to be the author’s niece, and how her family handled the pain of losing someone so dear. Death is inevitable, and it brings a lot of grief to a family. Sixteen days is a handbook on how to grieve and facilitate others who are mourning a precious life lost.
Wilson-Crane writes a powerful memoir with so much honesty and grit. She masterfully begins this book with Mary-Lou’s introduction as her niece, her childhood, and how events develop leading to her sudden death. As readers, we can feel her pain and helplessness toward fate sometimes, yet the next moment as we read, Wilson-Crane gives her readers her best advice on coping with such moments.
The writing is elegant, straightforward, and engaging. Reading this book, one can understand and acknowledge the writer’s honest emotions. Wilson-Crane’s emotions are raw, yet she manages to give us her best advice on transitioning from one state of mind to another. The best part is the list of to-do’s when mourning or visiting someone mourning. The author’s approach to writing is simple yet extraordinary, making it easier for readers to follow through on such a grim topic.
Wilson-Crane keeps the chapters concise and appropriate for the information she wants to convey without overwhelming her readers with unnecessary details. The book is a quick read, and one can devour it for the wealth of information. Each chapter ends with the authors’ version of mourning etiquettes and how one can honor the privacy of the families who have lost someone very close.
As a reader, I am super grateful for such insights. Sixteen Days by Victoria Wilson-Crane’s background on the deceased, inevitable death, and the aftermath of death that surrounds everyone related, this book will be a great addition to anyone’s reading list. Sixteen Days is one of the most influential books I have read in the grief and self-help genre.
Pages: 95 | ASIN : B09Q996K6X
LITERARY TITAN 