In The Break, you share with readers your experiences battling addiction and codependency and offer an intimate look into the unraveling of your marriage. Why was it important for you to write this book? 

It was important for me to write The Break and share my experiences with codependency as my ex-husband and I came to terms with his alcoholism because  I remember how alone I felt as I looked for community and understanding. I found more stories of people becoming sober than I found of those caring for someone going through alcoholism. The examples of alcoholism that were readily available were stories of various forms of abuse, mood swings, police interactions, empty bank accounts and houses built on fear. None of that was my story and I wanted to show others what high functioning alcoholism can look like. As I looked for my community, I realized there were more programs to assist the individual going through addiction than there were to help guide the loved ones. Alcoholism is a full life disease – it affects family, friends, co-workers and acquaintances – so I found it very odd that there was not just as much support for those around the alcoholic. I wanted to add to that community and that conversation because we, the co-dependents, need a strong support system as well.

I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?

The hardest part for me to write about was our wedding and accepting the fact that I really didn’t want to get married at the age of 25. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to marry my now ex-husband, it’s simply that I felt like I was up against societal standards and I was behind. I felt like I needed to get married because it was the next right step. Yes, I loved my now ex-husband and I should not have gotten married. While it was the next right step based upon societal measures, it was not the next right step for me and I was too young and too scared to recognize that truth. 

What is one piece of advice you wish someone had given you when you were younger?

There is a lot of advice that I wish my younger self had been told, however it does not mean I would have been ready to accept it. If someone had told me that I didn’t have to get married, that there is always another way and to make sure I take the time to listen to myself, I can’t say I would have fully listened to them or understood what they meant. Especially since all the women close to me modeled a very different belief system. Even the women in the news were heralded more for their looks and who they were dating, than the accomplishments they created on their own.

What is one thing you hope readers are able to take away from The Break?

The biggest take away that I hope readers carry with them after reading The Break,is to give that inner voice space. Take the time to listen to the quiet nudging and pulling that says Try this or Are you sure?. It can be scary to give that voice a chance to be heard, especially if she’s been quieted for so long, AND it will be very worth it.

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