Blog Archives
The Accessories We Wear
Those hoops, that belt, those glasses, that scarf perfectly accessorize the outfit of the day, but wait … there is no perfect accessory to outfit life.
Our wounds from abuse and trauma are the accessories we can’t take or pull off because they’re a part of us. Building walls, wearing masks, hiding deep despair in that quick mirror check, even from ourselves. Sound familiar? Well, I’m done hiding. I’m healing.
And the process? It doesn’t always look like what I expect.
This isn’t my struggle alone; trauma binds us together. Many among us face similar barriers and obstacles. I can’t tell my story honestly without telling the story of my mama and the irremovable accessories she passed down to me. If my transparency about how I’m finding healing can help someone else, all the better.
This is our story …
Helping the Next Generation
Are You Ready? How to Build a Legacy to Die For combines real-life stories with practical, actionable advice for readers to use when planning for their own deaths and estates. What were some goals you set for yourself as a writer in this book?
I wrote this book after suffering the loss of my mother and son to suicide and my husband to a broken heart after the death of our son. Since, hopefully, I am the next in line to go in my family, I wanted to research and work to make sure my children and grandchildren were emotionally prepared for my death. After quizzing my family and friends about their feelings about death and their preparedness for their own death, I believe that most of us are not prepared. By getting ready for the time when we will no longer be in this world, setting our survivors up for success, and minimizing the conflict, complicated grief, and aggravation (when they have to get rid of our stuff or can’t find our important papers) they suffer, we can show our love to them beyond the grave.
I found part three, “The Death Prepper’s Workbook,” especially meaningful in drawing attention to the discussions that need to be had. Have you considered expanding this into a stand-alone workbook to help others with planning for the future? If so, what else would you include to help readers with this process?
Actually, I have already written a stand-alone workbook and will be presenting a seminar to my church next week. I hope to get two versions, one secular and one faith-based, soon. With the workbook, I want to include envelopes to hold our birth certificates, marriage certificates, titles, etc., so that everything will be in one place. Our children will thank us!!!
What is one thing that you hope readers take away from Are You Ready? How to Build a Legacy to Die For?
I hope that readers understand that we all have a purpose in life: helping the next generation to succeed and thrive when we are gone.
Author Links: Facebook | Website
Part One encourages us to focus our lives on building positive legacies such as love, peace, trust, education, and hard work. We will meet incredible people who have lived lives full of hope and resilience and have passed these traits on through multiple generations.
Part Two examines the process of death itself and asks the question: “Is death a grim or gentle reaper?” The fascinating research on near death experiences and life after death is explored with the understanding that this topic yields different beliefs.
Part Three is a workbook to help us prepare our loved ones for a life lived without us. It includes a complete checklist and discussion of traditional legacy documents such as a will, health care directive, and password record as well as an emotional life insurance plan to psychologically help our loved ones survive and thrive in a time when we are no longer
physically present with them. The workbook includes handy templates to encourage us to write legacy letters, reconciliation letters, and even a letter to help our survivors understand the mourning process.
Don’t wait to get ready. Our graduation from life comes unexpectedly. This book will help you be prepared to graduate with honors.
What’s your legacy?
Are You Ready? How to Build a Legacy to Die For
Are You Ready? by Kimberly Harms delves into the profound subject of living life meaningfully and preparing responsibly for its inevitable end. The book blends motivating personal stories with practical advice, encouraging readers to aim high while ensuring they leave as little burden as possible on others. For example, it shares anecdotes like that of Louise and Big Al, who supported their daughter’s theatrical ambitions and a consistently cheerful and efficient Northwest Airlines porter.
The narrative also includes Harms’ experiences, adding a personal and emotional layer to the book. She shares the sorrow of losing relatives to suicide yet draws strength from these tragedies to foster personal growth and resilience. This personal connection humanizes the broader topics discussed and enhances the book’s impact on its readers. Harms addresses the often taboo topics of death and preparation with clarity and logic, arguing for acceptance over fear.
The book is structured to guide readers through various preparations like decluttering, writing wills, and having crucial family discussions. Such content is designed to inform and prompt action, making the book a practical guide for those looking to organize their affairs. Interwoven with these practical elements are stories of extraordinary individuals and diverse themes, including art, mentorship, and healthcare directives. One particularly memorable story is that of Reme, who survived the Rwandan genocide by hiding in a tiny wood bin for nearly three months. These narratives add depth and a wide range of emotional and experiential layers to the book.
Are You Ready? is a compelling mixture of life-affirming stories and essential life-planning advice. It educates its readers on significant, often overlooked aspects of life preparation, from understanding the differences between wakes and funerals to embracing the full spectrum of human experiences. Kimberly Harms’ work is a commendable resource for anyone looking to enrich their life’s journey and prepare thoughtfully for its conclusion.
Pages: 302 | ASIN : B0CHG23HD5
Vanquishing Monsters A Companion Workbook to the Unvarnished Truth
“Vanquishing Monsters: A Companion Workbook to the Unvarnished Truth” is a deeply introspective and practical guide designed to accompany her memoir, “The Unvarnished Truth: Purpose in the Pain.” This workbook delves into complex issues such as pain, suicidal ideation, abuse, and personal empowerment. Each chapter introduces a theme, provides personal insights, and includes exercises and worksheets aimed at fostering self-discovery and resilience.
The workbook’s practical approach is one of its most compelling features. Hylton doesn’t just tell her story; she offers readers actionable tools to work through their challenges. For instance, in Chapter 1, “Unpacking Pain,” the author provides a nuanced exploration of pain, encouraging readers to reflect on their emotional and physical experiences. The inclusion of a multi-part self-assessment helps users identify the frequency of various aspects of pain, dissect emotions, and creatively express their pain. All of this helps make the abstract concept more tangible. This method of translating personal pain into something that can be actively worked on sets the tone for the entire workbook.
Hylton’s writing is authentic and empathetic, which makes the workbook feel like a conversation with a wise, understanding friend. Her candid reflections on overcoming suicidal ideation in Chapter 2 resonated deeply with me. She shares her own struggles and triumphs, making the exercises that follow, such as journaling and practicing gratitude, feel genuine and achievable. The personal anecdotes scattered throughout the workbook add a layer of relatability as well, transforming abstract self-help concepts into real-world applications.
Another chapter that touched me deeply is Chapter 12. This chapter is a deeply introspective and uplifting exploration of personal spirituality. Hylton deftly navigates the delicate balance between individual belief systems and universal spiritual concepts, making this chapter a serene and thought-provoking conclusion to the workbook. She encourages readers to engage in reflective practices such as meditation and prayer, offering various exercises catering to various spiritual traditions. Her compassionate approach to spirituality stands out, emphasizing personal connection and growth over dogma. The chapter includes practical tools for integrating spirituality into daily life, fostering a sense of peace and purpose that resonates beyond the pages.
“Vanquishing Monsters” is a valuable resource for anyone navigating the tumultuous waters of personal trauma and looking for a structured path toward healing. Its mix of introspective exercises and personal reflections makes it accessible and engaging. I recommend this workbook to those who have read Hylton’s memoir and are seeking a deeper understanding of their own experiences, as well as to anyone in need of practical tools for self-exploration and resilience. While some sections may be challenging, the overall tone is uplifting and supportive, making it a worthwhile companion on the journey to personal empowerment.
Pages: 144 | ASIN: B0CXXXZV3S
Journey With Grief and Healing
Invisible Sun follows a man grappling with painful memories as he reels from grief following his brother’s suicide. What was the inspiration for the setup of your story?
I lost a brother to suicide many years ago and was intrigued by the way everyone, including myself, who was impacted by his death, managed the incident differently. Often, it’s only when we are confronted with death that we stop to consider life. Invisible Sun is a conversation about the perspective of what life is and less about death.
I enjoyed the depth of the main character, Ian. What was your process to bring that character to life?
While this story is NOT autobiographical, I did reach into my own history for inspiration. I needed Ian to be a flawed but curious human who digs deep to ask difficult questions about his existence. I jokingly told a friend that Ian was my whipping boy. I constructed a dark, heavy, almost impossible world with extreme situations for him to explore in this novel. I asked him to make hard decisions and choices that were the opposite of what I would choose in my life. In the process of writing Invisible Sun, I learned a lot about my own journey with grief and healing.
Are there any emotions or memories from your own life that you put into your characters’ lives?
Vulnerability. While this is not an emotion per se, it is a state of emotional exposure that involves a willingness to accept the risk that comes from being open and willing to give and accept love.
What is one thing you hope readers can take away from Invisible Sun?
In the novel, a homeless man on the bike tells Ian, “Don’t waste your life! It’s a gift.” Life is not complete without its ups and downs, but learning to find contentment in this life is the most important thing we can do.
Author Links: GoodReads | Twitter | Facebook | Website | Amazon
In Invisible Sun, Andrew H. Housley probes mental illness and the painful consequences of choice. He questions brotherly bonds, belief systems, and interconnectedness with profound intricacy, immersing readers in a world where reality blurs. Housley’s storytelling peels back the human psyche, exposing raw emotions. This haunting tale captivates as a broken soul seeks solace and understanding, diving deep into a reflection on resilience and choices.
Will Ian find the truth he seeks, or will he be consumed by the shadows that threaten to swallow him whole?
Are You Ready? How to Build a Legacy to Die For
Are You Ready? How to Build a Legacy to Die For by Dr. Harms tackles the profound yet often unspoken aspects of life’s journey—legacy, mortality, and the lasting impact we hope to leave. This work is an introspective guide that delves into the intricate dance between life’s beginning and end, acknowledging the chaos and beauty that define our existence. Dr. Harms addresses these themes with grace, articulating the dualities of love and pain, joy and sorrow.
In her exploration, Dr. Harms defines what legacy means by sharing compelling narratives of individuals who have turned adversity into opportunities for growth and compassion. These stories not only inspire but also challenge readers to reflect on their own legacies and the marks they wish to leave on the world. Dr. Harms embraces a variety of belief systems, emphasizing their validity and the universal truths that connect humanity—the cycles of birth and the inevitability of death. This book pushes the reader into sometimes uncomfortable but necessary contemplations about proactive legacy building, which can alleviate the burdens of uncertainty and grief for loved ones.
Dr. Harms encourages persistence, her writing style imbuing a sense of resilience and urging readers to continue despite discomfort. What sets this book apart is Dr. Harms’ compassionate and relatable storytelling. She injects her own experiences into the narrative, providing comfort and guiding readers towards making essential life decisions. Her gentle yet effective nudging is designed to move you from contemplation to action, leaving readers grateful for the encouragement to take proactive steps in legacy planning.
Are You Ready? How to Build a Legacy to Die For is clearly a labor of love, reflecting Dr. Harms’ commitment to thoughtful writing and genuine connection with her audience. Her message is poised to resonate with anyone pondering their impact on the world, making this book a valuable read for those seeking to understand the importance of crafting a meaningful legacy.
Pages: 302 | ASIN : B0CHG23HD5
Grief Does Get Easier
Suddenly: A Widow’s Story of Unexpected Loss and Healing shares the process you went through when your husband died suddenly, and you had to reframe your life for yourself and your daughters and find a way to endure. Why was it important to share your story with the world?
Prior to losing my husband, I read the book Radical Survivor by Nancy Saltzman. Nancy lost her husband and two young sons in a plane crash, and I was amazed by her resilience. I reread her book after my husband died, and her story inspired me to move forward. I am hoping my story has the same impact on others who have been widowed or suffered another loss.
What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?
I feel it is really important to normalize grief. Death is a part of life, and it is easier to deal with if grief is acknowledged. I wanted to convey to my readers that grief does get easier over time. We are never going to forget our loved one, nor would we want to, but we can move forward.
Healing from a loss like yours is never easy. What is one piece of advice someone gave you that changed your life?
There are no rights or wrongs when it comes to grief. Don’t let others dictate what you can or can’t do. This is your journey, and you can grieve on your own timeline.
What is one thing you hope readers take away from your story?
My greatest wish is to provide hope. You can be happy again. I like to say that good things have happened to me in spite of my loss.
Author Links: GoodReads | Twitter | Facebook | Facebook Author Page | Website | Amazon
Danell was living her dream life with her husband Patrick and two daughters when he left for a morning bike ride and never returned home. Danell was suddenly a single parent who was faced with learning to move forward on an unfamiliar path. Danell treasured the impact Patrick had on the lives of others and dedicated herself to making that kind of difference in the future.
In Suddenly: A Widow’s Story of Unexpected Loss and Healing, readers will discover how Danell:
Used writing to record memories while they were fresh, helping to process grief
Discovered a new purpose through introspection
Strengthened family traditions and created new ones
Allowed herself to experience happiness and joy after the grieving process
Supported her daughters as they found their own purpose
Danell found strength in the stories of other widows. She aspires to have her story provide hope for others experiencing loss.
Loved Ones Never Really Leave Us
Butterflies and Dimes follows two young children who discuss everyday symbols that remind people of loved ones who are no longer with them and help them cope with the loss. What was the inspiration for your story?
Butterflies and Dimes is actually inspired by true events. The characters are real people; my son Taylor and his best friend Stephanie. Stephanie’s mom, Lynn, was a beautiful person who took every opportunity to nourish Steph & Taylor’s friendship. She used to tell me that watching them play together and listening to their silly and often goofy conversations brought her joy. When she passed away after a very long battle with cancer, I wanted to create something to honor her memory and influence on their friendship.
The art in this book is fantastic, drawing readers in and helping to share the important message of your story. What was the art collaboration process like with illustrator Zachery Manza?
Zach is beyond talented. When I was searching for an artist whose style vibed with mine, I looked at a few of his sample pieces and instantly knew he was the right illustrator for my vision. He took my ideas and brought them to life in an even more vibrant way than I could have imagined.
What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?
First and foremost, I wanted to relay that our loved ones never really leave us. I think death and the afterlife are hard enough concepts for adults to grasp, let alone small children. I wanted this story to bring enlightenment in an age-appropriate way and inspire hope and connection for children experiencing grief.
What is the next book you are working on, and when will it be available?
I don’t know what I will write next! Butterflies and Dimes came to me in a dream after Lynn passed away, I think she gifted it to me. I’ll be here waiting for my next inspiration and the next story to tell.
Author Links: Goodreads | Amazon
LITERARY TITAN 