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The Good Death: A Guide for Supporting Your Loved One Through the End of Life
Suzanne B. O’Brien’s The Good Death is a compassionate and practical guide to accompanying a loved one through the end of life with less fear and more intention. Drawing on her years as a hospice and oncology nurse, O’Brien argues that death is not merely a medical event, but a deeply human, physical, emotional, spiritual, and familial passage. The book moves from stories of hospital deaths shaped by panic or denial, such as Vivian’s futile surgery and Alice’s spared CPR, into concrete guidance on advance directives, caregiving phases, pain management, family burnout, funeral choices, green burial, and the Peace of Mind Planner. Its central conviction is simple but unsettling: most of us are unprepared for dying, yet preparation can transform terror into tenderness.
What stayed with me most was the book’s insistence that knowledge can be a form of mercy. O’Brien writes with the authority of someone who has stood in the room at the final breath, and her best passages have the quiet gravity of witness. The story of little Tammy, marked with her grandmother’s lipstick kisses and repeating that death was “beautiful,” could easily have become sentimental, but it lands because O’Brien has already shown us the harsher alternatives: sterile rooms, frightened families, bodies kept alive past dignity. I found the writing most powerful when it braided instruction with reverence, when a comfort kit, a pain scale, or a bedside commode became part of a larger language of love.
I also appreciated the ambition of the book’s ideas, even when I felt their certainty pressing hard against mystery. O’Brien’s belief in the sacredness of death gives the book its warmth and courage. Her practical wisdom is hard to dismiss. The three phases of end of life, the Support System Scheduler, the questions about bathing, music, visitors, and disposition of the body, all feel humane because they honor the tiny details where love either falters or becomes incarnate. Her discussion of home funerals, living wakes, and green burial also widens the reader’s sense of what’s possible after death in a way that restores agency to families.
By the end, I felt both sobered and strangely steadied. The Good Death doesn’t make dying easy, and it shouldn’t, but it makes the terrain less lonely by naming what so many people are afraid to name. Its greatest gift is not that it removes grief, but that it teaches the reader how to remain present inside it, with clean hands, clear wishes, and an open heart. I’d recommend this book especially to family caregivers, hospice volunteers, adult children of aging parents, and anyone who knows that avoiding death has never protected us from it.
Pages: 272 | ISBN : 978-0316574860
The Ultimate Soul’s Purpose
Hydrangeas From Dad follows you through the devastating loss of your father and the mysterious hydrangea text he sent from beyond, opening into a courageous memoir of grief, soul, family, and spiritual healing. Why was this an important book for you to write?
First of all, I admired my dad for the man he became in the last 25 years of his life. Once he retired and no longer had to fully provide for 5 kids, a wife, and his mother, he became a real father to me. And I was gradually able to let him in after spending my childhood feeling detached from him. During retirement, Dad visited me several times a year, called frequently, and moved to FL, and was closer, so I could visit him. We finally had a relationship.
Secondly, I thought the way he lived his life was authentic, courageous, and full of gusto, and he encouraged me to live the same way. I told him when he was dying that I would write a book about him and his life, and I was committed to that promise.
And, the third reason was that his message to me from the afterlife was so powerful and life-changing that I knew I needed to share the story with others. My desire was to help others who had also lost a loved one, maybe a parent, to know with certainty that our soul relationships continue after the body is gone. I found that awareness to be so comforting during the early months and ongoing years of grieving that Dad was no longer physically with us. I trusted that others could find comfort in this story, too. And his message to me ignited the fire of complete authenticity in me to live my life fully and honestly! I wanted to share that message too, knowing that physical life as we experience it is short, but HOW we live prepares us for the possibility of a glorious afterlife.
What was the first thing you felt when you saw the text from your father’s phone with the photo of blue hydrangeas?
I was honestly shocked! I think my heart stopped beating, and I lost my breath for a moment. But my mind couldn’t process this, and I tried desperately to find another explanation other than this was Dad reaching out to me right after a man on television talked about how important it was to call your parents while they were still alive. I was trying to digest all of that. It was more of an emotional experience than it was anything cognitive. It was tumultuous! My gut was in knots. I stared at the screen in disbelief. And after a few moments, I convinced myself that my sister had planted a flower bush in Dad’s yard and used his phone to send me a picture of it. I needed to believe in that to get through the night and let my gut and heart settle down.
How did writing about your father’s final days change your relationship to those memories?
I commented to my siblings that they lived through my dad’s dying and moved on; and, I lived it off and on for 10 years, the length of time it took me to finish the manuscript. Writing about those 5 days of my dad’s dying kept me anchored in the experience of dying. It also helped me appreciate living even more because I now knew what it was like to have a loved one leave this physical world and their physical body. I became more intimately attached to death and dying and re-writing the definitions of this for myself. And, through this awareness, I knew that preparing oneself for the afterlife by HOW we lived in THIS life was the ultimate soul’s purpose.
Were there parts of your spiritual journey that you felt afraid or hesitant to share so openly?
After serious reflection on this question, I would have to say the part of my spiritual journey that I had hesitation or fear to share openly was about my venture into the world of shamanism. Not because of my own trepidation, but because I feared being judged harshly and my book being discredited because of that.
I live in the Bible Belt of the US. People are predominantly Christian, and fundamentally so. I consider myself a Christian, but open to receiving influence from many other religions as a spiritual seeker. Shamanism would be seen as a pagan practice by many. But I had to push through this fear of rejection and dismissal because my spiritual journey, prompted by my Dad’s text message from the afterlife, was and still is about being my TRUE self!
Now, I welcome questions from anyone. I love the opportunity to better explain how studying shamanism and the powerful rituals as they were taught by Don Oscar Miro Quesada, taught me how to fully and completely love! My heart was blocked by layers of anger, disappointment, and despair for most of my life. The practice of Anyi, “sacred reciprocity,” and the initiations and blessings received from don Oscar and the Universal Shamanism community removed the barriers I didn’t even know I had. Somehow, I was set
free, became lighter, more positive, and loving; and this has been a treasured gift.
Author Links: GoodReads | Facebook | Mary Ellen McDonald | Mary Ellen Connett McDonald | Connett Therapy and Coaching | EquiHeart | Website | Fierce Feminine Fire | EquiHeart Guided Horsemanship | Amazon
If you are:
– Wrestling with the mysteries of life and death
– Questioning why we love, even when loss seems inevitable
– Anticipating or grieving the passing of a parent or other cherished soul
– Feeling lost, displaced, or hollow after such a profound absence
– Living in the shadows instead of embracing your deepest truths and longings
Then this book is here for you-a companion for your soul’s journey to:
– Ease the sorrow of losing those you love, and bring gentle healing to your heart
– Affirm the eternal nature of your soul and the souls of those who have passed
– Understand that death cannot sever the bonds of love you share
– Live fully in alignment with your soul’s deepest purpose
– Cultivate spiritual practices that nurture and sustain your soul
– Move toward the highest state of fulfillment-union with God, Source, or Great Spirit
May this journey light your path, opening your heart to healing, connection, and the limitless presence of your soul in every moment of your life.
First-Hand Knowledge
Reach Out with Acts of Kindness is a heartfelt and practical guide offering compassionate, straightforward advice on how to support people facing illness, grief, or crisis. Why was this an important book for you to write?
After going through a traumatic time, I felt called to write this book. I could not not write this resource in which I share my passion for reaching out to others in hardship. We will all face obstacles and hurdles throughout life, and support from family, friends, acquaintances, coworkers, etc., is vital for those hurting attempting to move forward.
I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?
I am a private person, so sharing my feelings with readers was the hardest part of writing the book. Those who are deeply entrenched in a troubling period or have gone through a tumultuous time can relate to the many mixed emotions I express in the book and that anyone in crisis may experience. There were many dark, unsettling instances too personal to include that were left out, in respect for my family.
What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?
I share first-hand knowledge of what may help and what may not help those struggling, and also include examples from others who endured trauma, regardless of the circumstance or predicament. Specific ideas and suggestions to lend support are featured. I’m a firm believer that everyone has a gift, whether it’s picking up the phone to touch base, sending a thinking-of-you card, delivering a meal, completing an errand, mowing the grass, etc. I emphasize lending support in an area that is most comfortable and easy for the giver. Readers are invited to consider what their gift may be.
Could you tell me what one thing you hope readers take away from Reach Out with Kindness?
The goal of Reach Out is for readers to understand the importance of reaching out and connecting with anyone struggling with simple acts of kindness.
Author Links: GoodReads | Website | Instagram | Amazon
At some point in life, everyone will face a roadblock, obstacle, or will be touched by someone experiencing a challenging, tumultuous period. No one is immune to struggles, but outsiders are often unsure how to best offer comfort and support.
Reach Out is a call to action for creating a culture of compassion and empathy by illuminating how to be there for others when they need it the most. This relatable resource highlights specific ways to help others in crisis as well as the aftermath. Everyone has a gift to offer, whether it is just picking up the phone to touch base, sending a card of concern, delivering a meal, mowing the grass, or other helpful acts. What is your gift?
Write Fully and Freely
Purple Summer, Gray Fall is an eclectic blend of poems ranging from themes of warmth, youth, and desire to introspection, loss, and renewal. What inspired you to write this particular collection of poems?
Thank you! This book began as 1-2 poems and random thoughts I wrote during and after a particularly impactful romance. I didn’t plan for Purple Summer, Gray Fall to become a book, let alone a book that I would publish. Not long after this romance, I went through a huge emotional journey, including and most notably, the start of my writing career. I began writing and unpacking things, which led to more writing. Then, synchronistically, the title Purple Summer, Gray Fall came to me one day. That’s when I knew I had to create a book. This book allowed me to understand and process that time period, learn more about myself, and explore and expand creatively. I realized I had to publish this book because, as an artist, there is nothing more urgent than to share what moves you.
Were there any poets or other writers who influenced your work on this collection?
Absolutely. The late Nikki Giovanni is my favorite poet of all time. The late Toni Morrison is my favorite author, and I’m also a huge fan of poet Marie Howe. Collectively, they have inspired this book as their work is frank and sharp, full of imagery, emotion, connection, and courage. They are a source of strength and commitment for me to write fully and freely. I honestly can’t do justice to describe how influential these three women are to my work as a writer, but I’m glad I can pay homage to them here.
How do you approach writing about deeply personal or emotional topics?
It wasn’t easy initially, but it was much harder for me not to go deep with this book. Purple Summer, Gray Fall could have had a vastly different tone. I scrapped almost half of the original poems because they were ok and fit, but they didn’t feel authentic, and they didn’t make me proud. I made a choice and decided to write free of external pressure, and once I did, the rest of the book came together pretty quickly. It was very exciting. I knew the excitement and pride I felt from writing from a place of authenticity was and is the reason why I am a writer. I’m not aiming to be controversial or deeply personal, but I’m sticking to my decision to write for me and no one else, letting whatever needs to come out be free to do so.
Can we look forward to more work from you soon? What are you currently working on?
Absolutely. Poetry is my favorite genre, and I’m working on my 2nd book now, no title available! I’ll share that the collection will explore my past relationships. But I also plan to write fiction, plays, and screenplays as I have started drafting quite a few projects. Stay tuned for updates by following me on Instagram @writeaway_selena.
Author Links: GoodReads | Instagram | Amazon
Purple Summer, Gray Fall
Selena Mallory’s Purple Summer, Gray Fall is a tender, raw, and often startling collection of poems that drifts between sunlight and shadow. The book is divided into two sections: “Purple Summer,” which hums with warmth, youth, and desire, and “Gray Fall,” which cools into introspection, loss, and renewal. Across both halves, Mallory writes with a confessional edge that feels both intimate and unguarded. Her voice slips easily between humor and ache, sensuality and solitude, all while painting vivid slices of womanhood, memory, and self-discovery. The poems read like diary entries whispered aloud on quiet evenings, revealing a life lived in color and reflection.
What I liked most about Mallory’s writing is its honesty. She doesn’t shy away from the awkward, the lustful, or the mundane. In one breath, she’s talking about shaving her legs for a Tinder date, and in the next, she’s describing grief, faith, or mental fatigue. That range feels human in a way poetry often forgets to be. Her language is unpretentious, even conversational at times, and that makes the emotional moments hit harder. The transitions from lighthearted pieces like “Shiny Hiney” to weightier ones such as “Sweat(H)er” are seamless, showing how closely joy and despair live beside each other. The humor never undercuts the pain; it just reminds you that both belong.
The collection’s imagery also carries a quiet rhythm. I loved how the “Purple Summer” poems glow with heat and motion, fields, sun, and laughter, while “Gray Fall” settles into stillness and introspection. There’s an arc of growing up here, or maybe just growing deeper into oneself. Mallory has a knack for turning everyday details into metaphors that linger, like the simple act of baking brownies or watching a storm. Her poems invite you to slow down and notice small, beautiful things, even when they hurt. Sometimes the structure feels loose, even meandering, but that looseness matches the emotional truth of the work. It’s messy, alive, and personal.
I’d recommend Purple Summer, Gray Fall to readers who love poetry that feels like conversation rather than performance. It’s perfect for anyone who’s ever laughed through heartbreak or found comfort in small, domestic rituals.
Pages: 56 | ISBN: 978-16629604444
Succeed in Life
100 Things Black Boys Should Do and Know is a no-nonsense, heartfelt, and refreshingly real guide written specifically for young Black boys that mixes tough love with encouragement, serious talk with humor, and spirituality with street smarts. Why was this an important book for you to write?
I wrote this book in the Covid era, when kids were missing out on a lot of educational and social learning. I was in the school system and I noticed how black boys were having a hard time following instructions and showing manners. I was in total disbelief at what I was seeing. So, I said to myself what can I do, to help Black boys? That’s when it came to me, “I can write a book about things Black boys can do and know.” In the process of writing it, themes just came to me as I observed more Black boys. I also did some homework searching for a self-help book for Black boys. The ones that kept coming up were affirmation books, but I felt like they needed more.
What is one piece of advice you wish someone had given you when you were younger?
One piece of advice I wish someone would have given me? I would say, “Don’t let anything or anyone keep you from learning and growing as a person.”
What is one thing that you hope readers take away from 100 Things Black Boys Should Do and Know?
The thing I want anyone who reads my book to understand and know is that I really want Black boys to succeed in life and make a difference in this world.
Author Links: GoodReads | Instagram | Facebook | X (Twitter) | Amazon
100 Things Black Boys Should Do and Know
Jason Huey’s 100 Things Black Boys Should Do and Know is a no-nonsense, heartfelt, and refreshingly real guide written specifically for young Black boys, though honestly, it’s got nuggets for all of us. The book is exactly what the title says—100 pieces of advice, lessons, and life tips, everything from “Tell Your Mom and Dad You Love Them” to “Learn CPR” to “Get Help” when life feels heavy. Huey mixes tough love with encouragement, serious talk with humor, and spirituality with street smarts. The format is easy to follow, the tone is conversational, and the heart behind it is big.
One thing I loved is how Huey doesn’t shy away from anything. He hits real-life issues head-on—mental health, racism, peer pressure, even gun violence. In #69 “12,” he gives a straight-up survival guide for police encounters. It’s heavy but necessary. In #30 “Let It Out,” he tells boys that it’s okay to cry, to be emotional, to feel. That struck a chord in me. Growing up, crying felt like a weakness. Huey flips that script and makes vulnerability a strength. His words are filled with love but also urgency. You can feel he’s been through it, seen it, lived it.
The writing style is raw, it’s funny, it’s deeply personal. I found myself smiling at things like “Takis or Hot Cheetos” (#25) and “Watch Cartoons” (#41), then turning the page and getting a gut check about “Colorism” (#62) and “Never Ending Race” (#71). He breaks things down in a way that feels like a big brother giving you the real talk you never knew you needed. He even sneaks in lines that’ll stay with you: “A man who doesn’t acknowledge his mistakes is a mistake” from #2 “My Bad” really reasonated with me.
I’d recommend this book to every young Black boy—and to the parents, teachers, mentors, and friends who want to love and support them better. It’s not just a list. It’s a roadmap. A compass. A hug and a challenge. You don’t read this book; you hear it. You feel it. And if you let it, it’ll change how you move through the world.
Pages: 50 | ASIN : B0BR46C2S3
The Dark Side of Our Past
Property of the Revolution is the story of your family’s move to the United States from a politically-charged Cuba and the economic and personal challenges you faced on your way to becoming a mother. Why was this an important book for you to write?
I wanted to honor the sacrifices of the generation that gave everything up so we could live in Freedom, the capital is very intentional. We tend to forget what a gift it is to live in a country that strives—doesn’t always make it, but it tries—for worthy ideals, like freedom, rule of law, respect for diversity, etc. I also wanted to understand better, for myself, how our family members navigated the decisions and choices they faced. Only writing gives me the time and space to understand such things. I also wanted to remind Americans of the best in us and in our country, because we were the recipients of that gift.
I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?
Revisiting the pain my grandmother went through and how she must have suffered. Also, the loneliness my father experienced all those years of working double shifts and missing his family. In general, it was difficult to go through that door again, into the dark side of our past, the side we tried to downplay so we could move forward.
Given the opportunity, what would you like your younger self to know?
That it was all right to be different, that it would be my super power. That everything would be ok.
What is one thing you hope readers take away from your experiences?
The magnificent power of a loving family. That you can lose everything—or almost everything—and claw your way back. That you can actually ponte guapa/o (make yourself brave, and that you actually need to and must to survive in this world, especially when you think you’re done for!
Author Links: GoodReads | X (Twitter) | Facebook | Website | Simon & Schuster | Amazon
Ana Hebra Flaster was six years old when her working-class family was kicked out of their Havana barrio for opposing communism. Once devoted revolutionaries themselves but disillusioned by the Castro government’s repressive tactics, they fled to the US. The permanent losses they suffered—of home, country, and loved ones, all within forty-eight hours—haunted her multigenerational family as they reclaimed their lives and freedom in 1967 New Hampshire. There, they fed each other stories of their scrappy barrio—some of which Hebra Flaster has shared on All Things Considered—to resurrect their lost world and fortify themselves for a daunting task: building a new life in a foreign land.
Weaving pivotal events in Cuba–US history with her viejos’—elders’—stories of surviving political upheaval, impossible choices, and “refugeedom,” Property of the Revolution celebrates the indomitable spirit and wisdom of the women warriors who led the family out of Cuba, shaped its rebirth as Cuban Americans, and helped Ana grow up hopeful, future-facing—American. But what happens when deeply buried childhood memories resurface, demanding an adult’s reckoning?
Here’s how the fiercest love, the most stubborn will, and the power of family put nine new Americans back on their feet.
