Blog Archives
“…but that’s not me.”: Changing the Story of Interpersonal Abuse
“…but that’s not me.”: Changing the Story of Interpersonal Abuse is a compelling and insightful self-help book that sheds light on the complexities of abusive relationships. It challenges conventional perceptions of abuse, revealing that it extends far beyond physical violence. Through the powerful testimonies of domestic abuse survivors and authors Erika Shalene Hull and Dr. Cheryl LeJewell Jackson, the book underscores a universal truth, at the heart of every abusive dynamic lies an imbalance of power. By sharing their personal experiences, Erika and Cheryl have created a practical guide to recognizing, addressing, and, when necessary, escaping abusive relationships.
One of the book’s greatest strengths is its seamless integration of raw and deeply personal stories with psychological insights and precise definitions of various forms of abuse. Erika and Cheryl’s narratives captivate, weaving a tapestry of pain, resilience, and ultimate empowerment. Erika’s harrowing account of financial exploitation, her husband siphoning money to fuel his addictions while she was pregnant with their third child, is particularly haunting. The contrast between the relationship dynamics she observed growing up and those she later endured as an adult highlights a chilling reality: abuse is often normalized before it is recognized.
Cheryl’s experience, shaped by different social circumstances, mirrors Erika’s. Both women initially rationalized and excused the mistreatment they suffered. This universal tendency to downplay or justify abuse is one of the book’s most thought-provoking themes. Many readers will likely see echoes of their own experiences or those of loved ones, reinforcing the importance of recognizing and addressing abusive patterns before they escalate.
This book serves as a crucial tool for identifying the often-overlooked red flags of psychological, financial, and emotional abuse. While the focus remains on domestic violence within romantic relationships, the authors emphasize that abuse knows no gender and can manifest in various interpersonal dynamics. The message is particularly urgent for women, who are often conditioned to overlook or rationalize coercive control in non-physical forms.
I highly recommend …but that’s not me. to anyone seeking a deeper understanding of the psychology behind both abusers and survivors. It is an essential read for those looking to safeguard themselves from toxic relationships, as well as for professionals and individuals passionate about psychology and mental health. Be prepared to feel educated, enraged, heartbroken, and ultimately inspired.
Pages: 456 | ASIN : B0BGJPQHD7
Living with Trauma, Finding the Light Again
In her memoir Living with Trauma, Finding the Light Again, M. Struemph courageously recounts her life’s journey, the highs, the lows, and the deeply unsettling. After dedicating 32 years of service to the U.S. military, a career spent protecting others, Struemph was tragically unprepared for the danger that lurked within the very institution she served. Her memoir sheds a stark light on the pervasive issue of sexual abuse in the military, a hidden scourge that thrives in the shadows. Struemph’s story is not only a testament to her own resilience but also a call to action for addressing the trauma, fear, and silence that often surrounds these heinous acts.
Beginning at her retirement party, Struemph pours her heart into every page, vividly capturing her mixed emotions. We feel her sense of relief at closing one chapter of her life but also her deep anguish as memories of her predator and the abuse she endured resurface. The narrative is powerfully personal, and each chapter is carefully crafted to draw readers into her world. Though we may not know her personally, Struemph’s writing fosters an intimacy that makes us feel like trusted confidants entrusted with her deepest truths. The book also offers a sobering look at the latest statistics on sexual assault within the U.S. military. The numbers reveal a disturbing rise in cases, with women, in particular, bearing the brunt of these assaults. Although male soldiers are also affected, it is female service members who are most often targeted. These revelations are both unsurprising and devastating, forcing readers to confront the painful reality of systemic abuse. As someone unfamiliar with this issue before reading Struemph’s account, I found myself questioning what other injustices remain hidden behind institutional walls, and who will step up to fight for the victims. I deeply admire Struemph for her bravery in sharing her story, especially under her real name, despite initial fears. Her courage is a beacon of hope for others who may be suffering in silence. For anyone who has experienced trauma, Struemph’s message is clear: you are not alone, and healing is possible. Though trauma can weigh heavily on us, it does not define us—we have the strength to reclaim our lives and find joy again.
I highly recommend this memoir, Living with Trauma, Finding the Light Again, to those seeking a deeper understanding of the realities of sexual abuse in the military, as well as to survivors of assault. However, for those who have experienced similar trauma, be mindful that parts of this book may be triggering. Struemph’s story is not an easy read, but it is an essential one, shedding light on a dark corner of our world that too often remains unseen.
Pages: 404 | ASIN : B0D6WJ2W6P
A Testament to Resilience
The Unvarnished Truth: Purpose in the Pain shares your story of surviving abuse and how you were able to finally find peace and healing. Why was it an important book for you to write?
I wrote this book because I strongly believe that it is a story that many persons can relate to. It’s an exploration of a life filled with trauma and emotional turmoil. There are many lessons to be learnt. I share my struggles, my moments of despair, and the darkness that led to two desperate suicide attempts. But more importantly, I reveal how I found the strength within to move forward and ultimately discover peace through forgiveness and acceptance of my situation as it is.
I recognize that every twist and turn, every triumph and setback, has made me into the person I am today. This book is not just a recounting of events; it’s an exploration of the human experience, a testament to resilience in the face of adversity.
I am hoping that this book shows that our individual journeys are pieces of a larger, intricate plan, woven together by shared experiences, emotions, and the quest for meaning and PURPOSE.
What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?
I wanted to remove the stigma in regard to Mental health and to show that even the well-to-do and the educated can suffer. May persons suffer in silence. There is always hope.
What is one piece of advice someone gave you that changed your life?
Show gratitude. I have learnt that appreciating what one has rather than focusing on what one lacks, is the key to peace of mind, and acceptance. I have learnt to let go of the things I cannot change.
What is one thing you hope readers take away from your story?
There are many things but perhaps the key takeaway is that one should never give up on life, no matter the circumstances. Hold on tightly to faith and love and cherish the persons who love and care for you.
Author Links: GoodReads | Twitter | Facebook | Website | Amazon
The narrative takes a poignant turn as the author navigates through a twenty-seven-year-long marriage to a narcissistic partner, enduring oppression and mistreatment. Amidst the turmoil, the birth of her two beloved children brings joy and a ray of hope illuminating the darkest corners of her existence.
The inevitable separation and divorce become a turning point and a catalyst for change, but it also brings unexpected and unimaginable heartbreak that shatters her world.
Through abuse, pain, disrespect, rejection, abandonment and despair, the author finds the strength to rise above her circumstances. Despite two suicide attempts, she emerges as a beacon of hope as she embraces the profound truth that God has been intricately woven into every chapter of her life’s story, serving as a guiding presence and a shield of protection.
Through her poignant prose, the author offers a raw and honest account of these deeply personal experiences, illuminating the complexities of human relationships, the search for healing, and the power of personal growth. This autobiography stands as a testament to her resilience and steadfast determination to inspire and uplift others through the transformative power of storytelling.
Life-Giving Encouragement
A Purely Wrong Story is a nuanced spiritual self-help book tailored for women grappling with the aftermath of sexual shame. Why was this an important book for you to write?
I wrote this book not only because I have been in the same shoes, grappling with my own aftermaths, but because I could pack out a second book listing the mistakes I have made over a ridiculous amount of years! I hoped to save other women from any portion of the delays and regrets that I knew so well. My prolonged search for healing was partially due to the Christian community often preferring or only addressing a message of abstinence, so I felt there was a significant gap in acknowledging and supporting any woman whose story didn’t include abstinence. Yet beyond coming alongside those who are already hurting, I want to demolish the imaginary gap that has separated millions of women from true healing in the first place.
Women are often told to hide their past and not address anything that goes against the teachings of Christianity. What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?
Hiding and denying are rooted in shame: the belief that something is so inherently wrong, so beyond hope, or so uniquely horrible that it does not have the capability or deserve the privilege of being expressed. However, in every story I read about Jesus, He always sought the least likely companions. Never once did He silence or shame anyone with a messy past or a less-than-perfect present. What He did do, though, was deflate the religious elite of His time—those who felt they were superior, infallible, or beyond reproach.
No one is perfect. Everyone falls short of the Bible’s teachings in some way, so no one maintains the right to make any woman feel “less-than” because her life is imperfect in any capacity. For me, it was incredibly freeing to accept that there was nothing I could do to disqualify me from Jesus’ love. Nothing I experienced or did would ever overpower God’s grace. Keeping my past hidden produced zero value. Instead, hiding kept me from knowing the freedom of being loved and accepted.
I want all women to know this freedom available to them, too: Despite what they may believe or what others have said, they are not “ruined,” their stories still hold potential and value, and Jesus happens to think the world of them.
Sharing the things you went through and the shame you felt allows readers to see your book as more than just information; you connect on a personal level. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?
The hardest thing when writing about painful experiences is that there is so much pain and so little time. Drawing on the rawest fears and hesitations that held me back, I sought to confront as many possible objections and hindrances as I could that may be barring readers from finding their healing. Despite my longing to remedy their pain, I know I cannot be the ultimate one to remove their pain, for healing is a choice every woman must make for herself. Yet, since too many women feel that healing is beyond their reach, I was desperate to speak life-giving encouragement and deliver life-sustaining help to those haunted by the deepest levels of hopelessness and shame. I tried my hardest to write in a way that honors every woman with the self-worth they deserve and the power they need to banish their pain once and for all.
What is one thing you hope readers take away from your book?
Assurance. Women who have suffered any form of sexual trauma will likely approach this book with only one assurance: Life is hard. While hardship will remain a fact in these women’s stories, I want a more significant, undeniable fact to dominate their lives: their stories are not over. In the deepest parts of their souls, may readers walk away with unshakeable joy stemming from the assurance of their healing—both now and forever.
Author Links: GoodReads | Instagram | Amazon
Maybe someone took your choice, or perhaps you regret the choices you made, but with dysfunctional sexual incidents on the rise, so are the numbers of women living with the shame incurred from these detrimental experiences increasing as well. Until now, your best options have remained guarding your story and masking your pain–at least, that’s what your shame insisted.
But it’s time to improve your prospects.
Your circumstances might seem too awkward or embarrassing to address, yet author Laurel Burns was once a captive of shame too. Offering discreet support, A Purely Wrong Story halts shame’s infiltration and accompanies your journey to:Acknowledge and accurately assess your experiences and the resulting trauma or guilt
Discover motivations and beliefs preventing your healing
Demolish barriers keeping you, as a non-believer or even as a believer, from approaching Scripture to access an under-emphasized game-changer
Free yourself from self-doubt while ousting shame as the defining word of your life
Why bother trying to hide or erase your life’s details when they’re perfect for writing a purely wrong story?
Given this social issue’s vast reach, A Purely Wrong Story includes reflection/discussion questions as part of its bonus material for additional growth and support. These questions are suitable for an individual’s personal development as well as a social group study. A step toward healing, in any capacity, marks progress toward eradicating sexual shame–one story, one woman, one life at a time.
A Purely Wrong Story
A Purely Wrong Story, authored by Laurel Burns, is a nuanced spiritual self-help book tailored for women grappling with the aftermath of sexual shame. Burns bravely shares her personal journey, detailing her experiences of betrayal by a trusted friend and the ensuing challenges. The narrative is interwoven with biblical verses, offering a perspective on how spirituality and faith can be instrumental in overcoming the mental anguish and guilt associated with sexual impurity.
The book’s format is thoughtfully designed to function as both a guide and a therapeutic workbook. Each chapter concludes with reflective questions, encouraging introspection and personal growth. Additionally, Burns includes a comprehensive directory of resources, such as contact information for immediate assistance, making this book a practical tool for those in need. Burns approaches the heavy subject matter with an air of optimism and resilience. Her engaging writing style, interspersed with light-hearted humor, fosters a sense of conversing with a compassionate confidante. She delves into the complex repercussions of sexual abuse, such as dissociation and increased promiscuity, sensitively addressing societal misconceptions around these issues. Burns thoughtfully addresses the complex balance between acknowledging the abuser as “the enemy” and the journey toward forgiveness, a nuanced approach that adds depth to her guidance. Her book is rich with sound advice, deeply rooted in scripture, and presented in an accessible manner. With relatable examples, she skillfully categorizes these insights under various headings, making it easy for readers to find guidance tailored to their specific emotional needs.
A Purely Wrong Story is primarily directed to a specific demographic: heterosexual Christian women. I believe that the author’s stance on topics such as premarital and casual sex may not resonate with all readers, particularly those with more liberal views. Nonetheless, for its intended audience, Laurel Burns’ book provides a heartfelt and empathetic guide for navigating a path that leads to healing and self-acceptance.
Pages: 189 | ASIN : B0CPT9Y41C
It Won’t Hurt None
Family secrets and childhood trauma lay a heavy load on the child, which stays on the child’s shoulders way past childhood. Trauma lingers in the dark corners of the mind lifting its ugly head at most random times with consequences for every aspect of a person’s life. So how does one go on with this burden? How can a person navigate relationships, career, and healthy decisions with someone else in the background calling the shots? Especially when that someone else is another form of yourself. What does it take to move on and live a life as a whole person when parts of you never moved on?
It Won’t Hurt None by Rebecca E. Chandler is a deeply personal story of a successful woman living with deep scars from the sexual abuse she suffered as a child. While this is by no means a professional guide, this is a story of healing written as a message for others who are still suffering. There is hope. There is a chance to heal the old wounds and be able to live a healthier and happier life. It is not an easy journey, but it is a path that can be taken and successfully completed with the right help and dedication.
This autobiography covers sensitive subjects and, at times, is graphic and descriptive. There is no genteel way of describing certain events without taking away from the deep horror of the events and experiences. Reader discretion is advised. Those who join Rebecca Chandler on her literary journey in this memoir will find her work beautiful and well-written in its raw and honest form. This inspirational book encourages those who have suffered abuse and gives others a look into the world of someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).
Pages: 260 | ASIN : B0BQZGWFB6
Mia’s Odyssey
Mia’s Odyssey: Taking Back My Soul by Mia Odeh is an insightful memoir that offers a journey into a woman’s intricate and complicated life. Mia was born in Palestine, the place where she spent most of her childhood. She was joyful and wanted nothing more than to be with her family and see the sunset from the rooftop of her house. However, her beautiful and innocent reality was quickly broken as her family decided to sell her off to an older, unknown man.
At only sixteen and still feeling like a child, Mia experiences a series of events that wake her up to the cruel reality that comes with some people. Right away, she’s forced to move to America, far away from her family, an unknown place with a language that she couldn’t even begin to understand. Her husband, who everyone believes to be her father, doesn’t support her and quickly shows the monster hidden beneath.
Mia’s story is heartbreaking, focused mainly on a traumatic past filled with sexual and domestic abuse. Yet, despite this, her outlook on things and her resilience to survive and to save not only herself but her children will remain as the silver lining of this book, showing how bravery and determination can take a person out of the depths of the most miserable situations.
The emotional book is incredibly written. Fast-paced and concise, this memoir offers every detail that a reader needs to know to understand Mia’s situation and exposes the cruel reality of so many young girls and women out there, a reality that’s often hidden behind closed doors. However, given the nature of the subject at hand, the book was hard to read. It was simply distressing realizing what this young girl had to endure every day in her own home, being trapped in her own personal hell. Seen as nothing but a servant and a breeding animal, Mia eventually plans her way out of this lifestyle for her and her own children’s sake. She is looking to find a new way to live without the continuous torture, humiliation, and trauma she had to endure.
Mia’s Odyssey: Taking Back My Soul by Mia Odeh and Mike Ball is an unforgettable memoir that will open the eyes of many people. It will make you think more compassionately about the people you may encounter in your daily life. These people might be experiencing unspeakable things without no one even noticing. This is a feminist story and, above all, a story of overcoming that will inspire the fights of many.
Pages: 232 | ASIN : B0B46V571M
LITERARY TITAN 