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The Caregiver’s Game is a gripping memoir and investigative true story surrounding your mother’s dementia and manipulation by caretakers that exposes the hidden realities of elder financial abuse. What first made you realize something was wrong with your mother’s situation?
The first sign I wasn’t aware of. When my mother told my sister she had a “new friend.” I blew it off. However, that seems to be a very common remark made at the beginning of these situations. I went to visit about 4 weeks after that remark. My mother’s refrigerator was stuffed. I knew that was wrong, but not living in town I couldn’t do anything about it. I just assumed the caregiver was just over-buying. I looked at my mother to ask for receipts but she said nothing. I figured, how bad could it be? That was March 2018. I visited again in Sept 2018. Nothing seemed different from my last visit.
My sister visited in Jun 2019 and told me mother was not doing well, but was acting in denial. We pushed for a doctor’s capacity determination. When that was delivered and showed my mother did not have the capacity for financial decisions, we figured that would cover any issues. Then, 10 days later, we were removed from the Medical POA. That’s when we suspected a bigger issue, but again, never thinking it was going to be this bad.
How did you begin reconstructing the financial trail?
I started about 3 weeks after my mother passed away. We found out about the new will and the annuity for the caregiver a week after her death. I was in shock. These things happen to other people, not us. Then I got mad.
I started trying to log into her broker account. I had the password previously. That had been changed, but I knew the security questions and had her old phone, which had her email account. This allowed me to fetch the bank code to set up a new password.
Once into the account, I started reconstructing the statements and pulling check copies. I wanted to see how much the caregiver was really getting paid. I also wanted to see if there were any patterns or locations that were different from where my mother would normally visit. I used a couple of reporting tools to visualize and map the shopping habits.
Next, I pulled her credit report from the Lifelock app on her phone. That’s when I saw the new department store credit card. I asked the CPA about it, and he knew nothing of it.
What are the most common warning signs families miss, and what is the single most important preventive step families can take?
I mentioned above. The person tells their family they have a new friend. Others are seeing the caregiver answering for the patient or not being able to get a hold of the person.
The most important preventive is being present in the home on a regular basis. This is what the neighbor’s daughter did. She was there every day at different times. She even set up cameras around the condo to monitor. This constant monitoring drove the caregiver to find another victim in the building.
What would you change about elder protection systems?
The process of obtaining a Guardianship needs to be reviewed. Each county can have a different experience. The one my mother was living in was known for not agreeing to them. Others nearby were easier.
The challenge is that once you are granted a Guardianship, you can make the relative very mad, and they will then remove you from the will or estate.
It was suggested to me by a probate attorney that if you see this situation going on, do not attempt a Guardianship, but just wait until they pass and address it then.
There should be a resource like FINRA.org that monitors the financial industry workers, like brokers. A centralized place to report caregivers for incidents like being removed from the caregiving agency for bad behavior. Background checks only scratch the surface, depending on what your request.
The other challenge is that most of the reporting is done by front-line workers or those within the Adult Protective Services. These resources are only as good as they are trained or the tools available to them.
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The credit card charges didn’t make sense. Groceries seven times the national average for a woman who never topped 105 pounds. Hundreds at Sam’s Club five days before she died while she was housebound in assisted living, barely eating, her apartment nearly empty. The caregiver had an answer for everything. So did the lawyer. So did the bank.
Then the caregiver died. Or disappeared.
The body was the wrong weight. Seventy pounds too heavy at cremation. No obituary. No funeral. No daughters on the death certificate. A death at a hospital an hour from home, one she’d visited months earlier, driving past three closer ones to get there.
Eight days earlier, Charles Wallace had blocked a $250,000 annuity payout, the last big payday from his mother’s estate.
It started simply enough. A caregiver knocked on Joell Fleming’s door with bagels and a smile. The 78-year-old widow — sharp-tongued, fiercely independent, survivor of five marriages, let a predator inside.
Esmarelda Gomez sat in the room when the neurologist scored Joell 16 out of 30 on cognitive testing. She watched the diagnosis happen. Then the spending exploded. Within three years, nearly $1 million was gone. Children removed from medical power of attorney. A new will naming the caregiver for a six-figure annuity. Credit cards used at the caregiver’s home address twenty-five miles away the last charge the day after Joell died.
Doctors, lawyers, banks, and Adult Protective Services all missed it.
From 700 miles away, Charles Wallace spent five years pulling a decade of credit card records and building the forensic case the professionals never did. Cards that went from two declines in seven years to a 59% decline rate. Two cards cycled at the register within seconds of each other. A dual food supply prepared meals for his mother, bulk groceries for someone else’s household.
She’d done this before. An elderly man years earlier. Same playbook. Same attorney handling both victims across thirteen years. Fired from a caregiving agency for misusing client data, she kept working privately invisible to every system designed to stop her.
Then came the exit. A secluded house purchased before she emptied the storage unit. A U-Haul returned with 460 extra miles. Forty-three boxes never delivered to charity. A death at a remote hospital she’d established herself at months earlier. Eighteen months later, her executor quietly bought that house.
The Caregiver’s Game is a forensic true crime investigation and a warning for every family with an aging parent. It exposes how caregiver fraud hides in plain sight in the credit card statements no one checks, the groceries that don’t add up, the documents signed by someone who can’t understand them and it arms you with the warning signs before it’s too late.
If the charges on your parent’s credit card don’t make sense, this book will show you what to look for. And what happens when no one does.
Both a true crime investigation and a safeguard. For readers of Ann Rule and for every adult child who worries about a parent, especially the ones who think it could never happen to them.
The Caregiver’s Game: Unraveling Financial Deceit in the Shadows of Dementia
The Caregiver’s Game is a grief-soaked memoir and a warning label at the same time. Author Charles E. Wallace Jr. walks through the slow unraveling of his mother’s mind, her complicated history as a vain, often cold parent, and the way a charming caregiver and a shady doctor slid into the gaps and took over her life, her money, and eventually even her story. The book moves from family memories to the nuts and bolts of financial abuse, then lands in a more practical section that lays out concrete steps for protecting vulnerable parents from predatory caregivers and weak systems around them.
Reading it, I felt a knot in my stomach most of the time. The writing has a plain, conversational feel, and that actually made the horror land harder for me. He describes lost photo albums, empty storage units, fake diagnoses, weird “vitamin” schemes, and bank accounts bleeding out, and he just tells it straight. The emotion sits in the details. I really liked that he refuses to polish his mother into a saint. She’s vain, sharp, often unkind, and the book leans into that. That honesty made the whole thing feel more trustworthy. The narrative jumps across dates, money trails, and visits. I could feel his obsession with piecing everything together, and that energy gives the book urgency.
The core ideas hit hard, though. Dementia here is not only a disease, it is a door that opens for other people’s greed. The book shows how one caregiver, one lazy CPA, one self-serving doctor, and a slow-moving legal system can wreck a whole family’s history, not just an inheritance. I found the later chapters especially strong, when Wallace stops replaying every twist of the “game” and starts talking directly to the reader about patterns of abuse, how financial exploitation creeps in, and what he wishes he had done earlier. His practical tips on things like monitoring accounts, demanding receipts, using alerts, and always being the one who hires and fires caregivers feel grounded in pain, not theory. That mix of raw story and specific advice gave the book a sense of purpose.
By the end, I felt angry for his mother and angry at her at the same time, and also grateful that he let the messiness stay on the page. The writing is not flashy, but it feels sincere. Some passages feel slow when he works through every transaction or theory about what Esmarelda and readers who want a neat true-crime resolution, may feel frustrated, because real life does not give him much closure. For me, that unresolved feeling matched the subject. Elder abuse often never gets the big courtroom scene or tidy justice, and the book sits inside that reality instead of pretending otherwise.
I would recommend The Caregiver’s Game to adult children who are starting to see small red flags with an aging parent, to caregivers who want to understand how their role can be abused, and to anyone who works around elder care, finance, or estate planning. It’s not light reading. It stirs up fear and guilt and “what if” questions, and it might make you pick up the phone and check on someone. If you want a personal, sometimes messy, deeply felt account that doubles as a cautionary handbook, this fits that lane really well.
Pages: 245 | ASIN : B0FYCS2X9H
Losing Mom
Losing Mom, by Peggy Ottman, is a memoir about a daughter walking with her mother through the last stretch of her life. The story moves through medical crises, small moments of grace, old family rhythms, and the shifting power dynamic between parent and child. It opens with years of near misses, each one convincing Ottman that maybe her mother would never actually die, and then follows the final days with an honesty that feels both intimate and strangely universal. At its heart, it is about love, caretaking, and the long letting go that comes when a parent fades.
The writing is simple, direct, sometimes almost breathless in the way it tumbles forward. That works for this kind of memoir. The scenes of crisis feel sharp because they are told the way we remember trauma, in fragments and quick flashes. I appreciated how she didn’t try to polish herself into some perfect caretaker. She shows the guilt, the second-guessing, the resentment, the deep tenderness. Her relationship with her sisters adds texture, too. They each carry different responsibilities, and you can feel the family history in every conversation.
What struck me most was the author’s honesty about fear. The fear of losing her mom, yes, but also the fear of doing the wrong thing, of missing a sign, of not being strong enough. Those moments felt very emotional. Some scenes hit hard, like when she speaks nonsense during what might be a stroke. Other moments are quiet, almost gentle, like the nurse patiently washing her mother’s hair. The memoir doesn’t try to turn grief into something tidy. It lets it stay messy and human, which makes it more powerful.
By the end, Losing Mom feels like a long exhale. It doesn’t offer big lessons. Instead, it gives you the feeling of having walked alongside someone through something real. I’d recommend Peggy Ottman‘s story to anyone who gravitates toward memoirs that deal with caregiving, aging parents, and the complicated love that sits underneath family stories. Readers who value emotional honesty over dramatic storytelling will appreciate it most. This is a memoir that keeps you thinking, especially if you’ve ever watched someone you love slowly slip away.
Pages: 300
Essential Guide for Caregivers of Parents with Dementia: Proven Strategies to Support Mental Clarity, Extend Independence, Plan for What’s Ahead, and Avoid Burnout
This book is a heartfelt and deeply practical guide that walks readers through every emotional and logistical step of caring for a parent with dementia. Wesley Thomas blends personal stories with grounded advice, weaving a clear roadmap for families who suddenly find themselves in the role of caregiver. The structure, organized around his “Circle of Care™” framework, covers recognition, adjustment, connection, protection, sustenance, compassion, and restoration. Each chapter moves from understanding to action, explaining not only what to do but also how to stay steady while doing it. The tone is warm and conversational, yet it never shies away from the hard parts. Thomas offers real-world tools for everything from home safety to medical decisions, while constantly reminding readers that love and dignity should guide every choice.
Thomas’s writing is simple and kind, never clinical or distant. He tells stories that feel real, the confusion of early signs, the ache of lost connection, the quiet grace of small wins. I appreciated how he didn’t drown the reader in jargon or pretend there’s a one-size-fits-all plan. Instead, he speaks directly, like a friend pulling up a chair and saying, “Here’s what helped me, and here’s what might help you.” His emphasis on self-care resonated with me. Caregivers often forget themselves in the process, and his reminders to rest, breathe, and seek help felt both necessary and comforting. Some moments are tough to read because of their honesty, but that’s part of the book’s strength. It makes you face the pain while showing you how to survive it.
Emotionally, this book left me both drained and uplifted. Thomas captures the heartbreak of watching a loved one fade but also the unexpected beauty that can appear in small gestures of patience and humor. His compassion is contagious. I found myself slowing down, reflecting on how I treat my own family, and realizing that caregiving is as much about who we become as it is about what we do. The writing is full of short, punchy sentences that carry weight. It’s not polished in an academic way. It’s real, raw, and human. That’s what makes it powerful. I could feel his sincerity in every chapter, and it kept me reading even through the heavier sections.
I’d recommend this book to anyone caring for a parent, spouse, or relative with dementia, and honestly, to anyone preparing for that possibility. It’s perfect for readers who crave guidance but don’t want to be overwhelmed by medical language. It’s for those who want a companion more than a manual. Essential Guide for Caregivers of Parents with Dementia gives both knowledge and hope, and it leaves you feeling less alone.
Pages: 156 | ASIN : B0FPTTKBJ6
Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late!
Doing the Right Thing serves as a one-stop resource for readers navigating the task of assisting aging loved ones, offering practical tips, housing comparisons, checklists, and thoughtful advice to help families make informed, compassionate choices with less stress and confusion. Why was this an important book for you to write?
In 1995, when I first started this journey, I learned so much through trial-and-error. I knew that if I was having problems with the quality and accuracy of people who work in the seniors’ field, I knew that other adult chilldren would find it frustrating, too. I wrote the book to educate and empower adult children to be advocates for their loved ones. I made it as easy as possible to find information quickly. No one has time to wade through a 400-page tome looking for the answers!
How have your personal experiences and background as a Certified Senior Advisor(CSA), Certified Aging in Place Specialist(CAPS), and as a real estate Associate Broker helped you to write this book?
I was already in real estate helping seniors and adult children sell the family home. I completed coursework to become a Certified Senior Advisor and Certified Aging-in-Place Specialist to learn even more! The designations provide useful information that is “book-learned” rather than “street-smarts”. Both approaches have helped me better serve others. I can relate to the stres and frustration an adult child feels, and the overwhelming emotions the loved one feels when facing this next phase of life.
What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?
(a). Each situation is unique to that person or family, but the resources to help are widely available;
(b). Learn and practice patience! Don’t try to “take charge” of your loved one’s situation. They may have already thought about it but are hesitant to discuss.
(c). Keep going! You do the best you can with what you have and it’s enough!
(d). Don’t hesitate to reach out for help
(e). You may think you have time but life (for you and your loved one) can change quickly! You can reschedule a meeting or change vacation plans, but a call about your parent(s) must be faced right away.
What is one thing that you hope readers take away from Doing the Right Thing?
Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late! Familiarize yourself with as much as you can! The process won’t be completed overnight!
Author Links: LinkedIn | Instagram | X | Reddit
Caring for a loved one is stressful, but necessary. I know, I’ve been there many times. There are new situations, new issues, and new decisions to make every day. When you don’t know what to expect or what questions to ask, it can be a frustrating feeling, and your emotions can often affect your decisions.
This book provides resources and information to guide you in caring for your aging loved one. The information includes information I wish I had known many years ago when I started my journey of caring for several relatives.
Here are a few things you’ll learn:
How to develop a master list of the information you need from your loved ones before they become incapacitated or die, and what steps to take once they pass.
The importance of a will or trust.
The types of housing choices for your loved one and how to decide what’s best.
The forty-plus questions to ask an assisted living facility.
How to decide what items to sell, donate, or give away. The twenty-five questions to ask an estate sale company.
Resources to ease your stress, especially if you don’t live close to your loved one. How to cope with grief.
By reading this practical guide, you can educate and empower yourself to do the best you can–before it’s too late!
Doing the Right Thing: Simple Solutions, Essential Tips & Helpful Resources for Assisting Aging Loved Ones
Reading Doing the Right Thing felt like someone finally handed me a flashlight in a pitch-black tunnel. I’m a full-time caregiver for both of my elderly parents. Dad’s mobility is limited, and Mom has early-stage dementia. I’ve been making it up as I go, bouncing between doctor appointments, financial headaches, and late-night worry spirals. This book didn’t just speak to me, it practically grabbed me by the shoulders and said, “Here’s what you need to know, and you’re not crazy for feeling overwhelmed.”
I appreciated how Debbie Miller lays it all out. Just clear, compassionate guidance. She covers everything from selling the family home to choosing between assisted living and aging in place, and she even dives into sensitive topics like wills, end-of-life planning, and grief. I found myself nodding, underlining, even laughing in a few spots, especially the parts where she talks about how stubborn parents can be when it’s time to downsize. Yes. Been there. Still there. Every chapter felt like it was written by someone who gets it.
This isn’t a “just think positive” kind of book. It’s honest. Some of the information is hard to take in, especially when you’re already stretched thin emotionally. But I needed that. I didn’t need another person telling me to “just enjoy this time.” I needed someone to tell me how to manage Medicaid paperwork, how to talk to my brother who lives five states away and still thinks our parents are “fine,” and how to keep from losing myself in all of it. Debbie did that.
If you’re caring for aging parents, especially if you’re doing it alone or with little help, Doing the Right Thing is a godsend. It’s part guidebook, part pep talk, part reality check. I keep it on the kitchen counter, next to the pile of prescription refills and to-do lists. It belongs there. I wish I’d read it a year ago, but I’m glad I have it now. And if you’re in the middle of this journey too, you’ll be glad to have it too.
Pages: 195 | ASIN : B0D7K72Y4S
Doing the Right Thing: Simple Solutions, Essential Tips & Helpful Resources for Assisting Aging Loved Ones
Debbie C. Miller’s Doing the Right Thing is a heartfelt and practical guide for anyone navigating the daunting path of caring for an aging parent or loved one. Drawing from her years of experience as a real estate broker and Certified Aging in Place Specialist, Miller breaks down the vast, often overwhelming web of decisions. Whether it’s choosing the right type of housing, downsizing, understanding financial options, or simply knowing how to start the conversation. The book serves as a one-stop resource, offering practical tips, housing comparisons, checklists, and thoughtful advice to help families make smart, compassionate choices with less stress and confusion.
What struck me most was how deeply personal this book felt. Miller isn’t some detached expert. She’s lived this. Her tone is warm, conversational, and honest, like a trusted friend who’s been through the mess and wants to spare you the worst of it. She doesn’t sugarcoat how tough these decisions can be, especially when roles flip and adult children become the caretakers. The stories she includes from her own clients are raw and relatable. You can feel the anxiety, the guilt, the pressure, and also the deep relief and gratitude that come from getting it right.
There’s a lot of information packed in here. I found myself bookmarking sections and flipping back and forth, trying to absorb everything. That said, I appreciated that Miller didn’t assume readers know what questions to ask or where to begin. She anticipates confusion and meets it with clarity and structure. If there’s one critique I’d offer, it’s that the tone occasionally veers into lecture territory, especially in the more technical chapters. Still, that’s forgivable when the advice is this thorough and useful.
This book is a lifeline. If you’re an adult child facing the tough questions about how to care for your aging parents, or if you’re a solo ager trying to plan ahead, Doing the Right Thing will meet you with empathy, wisdom, and actionable steps. I’d recommend it for any adult over 40, whether you’re in the thick of caregiving now or just starting to sense those big decisions coming down the road.
Pages: 195 | ASIN : B0D7K72Y4S
How to Age Gracefully
How to Age Gracefully is a tender and unflinching collection of essays by Barbara Hoffbeck Scoblic, a woman navigating her eighties from inside an assisted living facility in Bethesda, Maryland. After losing her husband and suffering a serious fall, Scoblic uproots her life in Manhattan and resettles in a new, unfamiliar world. Through sharp observations and heartfelt recollections, she explores what it really means to age — physically, emotionally, and socially. The book is broken into seven parts, covering everything from adjusting to new bodies and places to the presence of death. Scoblic shines a light on the overlooked complexity, humor, sorrow, and creativity of growing old.
The writing is clean and conversational. Scoblic has a sharp ear for dialogue and a keen sense of irony. Her tone swings from biting to tender in a heartbeat — one minute you’re laughing at a petty spat in the dining room, the next you’re hit by the quiet heartbreak of isolation. I found myself nodding along to her stories, sometimes with amusement, sometimes with a lump in my throat. She’s refreshingly honest about the indignities of aging, the fears, the small joys. There’s a grounded strength in the way she refuses to sugarcoat the hard stuff — the loneliness, the loss of independence — while still finding room for wit and warmth.
There were times, though, when the book made me a little sad, not because of its content, but because of how little we hear voices like Scoblic’s. She doesn’t try to make aging sound noble or poetic. It’s messy. It’s awkward. It’s often frustrating. But she finds meaning in the mess. I appreciated how she documented the seemingly mundane — conversations overheard, small kindnesses from the staff, even a note slipped into a takeout bag — and made them feel full of life. There’s something deeply beautiful in the ordinary moments she shares. I especially loved her stories about community and her slow-building friendships with people she initially misunderstood. That said, some of the stories blend together after a while. There’s not a traditional narrative arc, and the book feels more like a mosaic than a single journey.
I would recommend this book to anyone curious about aging, especially those who fear it. It’s a wonderful read for middle-aged readers trying to understand their parents, for adult children who feel lost in the caregiving shuffle, or even for younger people wanting a glimpse into what might lie ahead. This isn’t a self-help guide or a grand philosophical treatise — it’s better. It’s a conversation. One with humor, depth, and the kind of lived wisdom you don’t often find in print. Reading it made me feel more connected to my elders, to my own future, and to the idea that life still matters, even when your world shrinks.
Pages: 101 | ASIN : B0DB2T821D
