My Mother Only Had Me for the Check shares your story of survival and overcoming a childhood of abuse and neglect to become the strong woman you are today. Why was this an important book for you to write?

Writing this book was important because I wanted other women to know they were not alone in their struggles. Life can be incredibly tough, and sometimes, it feels like the challenges we face are insurmountable. But we have the strength to make it through no matter what life throws at us.

In sharing my struggles, I wanted to speak from a place of love and lived experience. I’ve been there, and I understand how it feels to be overwhelmed and underestimated. By opening up about my journey, I hope to offer encouragement and solidarity to other women who might feel isolated, defeated, and unloved.

I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?

The hardest thing for me to write about was being raped by my uncle. For years, I carried the shame and guilt of that day. It felt like a dark cloud, constantly hovering over me, shadowing every moment of my life. I struggled for years, blaming myself for that incident, feeling like maybe if I had fought harder or screamed louder, then perhaps I could have changed my circumstances. But that’s the cruel trick of trauma—it distorts reality and makes you believe lies about yourself.

I was just a child, innocent and trusting, unable to comprehend the betrayal of someone who was supposed to protect and care for me. I remember the confusion, the fear, and the overwhelming sense of powerlessness. In the years that followed, those feelings morphed into a deep-seated guilt. I thought I was at fault, that somehow, I had invited or deserved what happened. I became my harshest critic, convinced that I was weak and unworthy.

It took decades for me to unpack the trauma of that day. Writing about this part of my life was excruciating but I knew it was necessary. I discovered the power of self-compassion. I forgave myself for all the times I thought I should have done more. I realized that a child should never have to fight or scream to be safe. The responsibility lay solely with my uncle, and his choices led to that dark day, not mine. Sharing that chapter was a way to reclaim my voice and break the silence that had imprisoned me for so long. I also hoped that other women who had suffered similar experiences might find solace in knowing they were not alone.

What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?

One of the main ideas I’ve been passionate about sharing is encouraging women to embrace the importance of therapy.

As women, we often juggle countless roles—mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, professionals, and so much more. With all these responsibilities, putting our needs on the back burner is easy. But we need to take care of ourselves, too. And sometimes, taking care of ourselves means seeking help when we need it.

For decades, I used to think therapy was only for people facing a major crisis. But I’ve learned that therapy can benefit everyone. It’s a safe space where you can talk about anything without judgment. It’s a place to unpack your feelings, process your experiences, and develop healthier ways to cope with life’s challenges and trauma. I know the idea of going to therapy can be daunting, and it can feel vulnerable to admit we need help. But I’ve found that being open and sharing my traumatic experiences with my psychologist has helped me tremendously, and I hope it also encourages other women to seek the support they need.

Therapy isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength and self-awareness. It’s about recognizing that we all have areas where we can grow and improve. It’s about permitting ourselves to prioritize our mental and emotional well-being.

I encourage women to take that step. Reach out, talk to a therapist, and see how it feels. It might be one of the most empowering decisions you ever make.

What do you hope is one thing readers take away from your story?

The one thing I hope readers, primarily women, take away from my story is to never give up on hope or themselves.

I want every woman reading this to know you are strong, beautiful, and capable. Your value isn’t determined by anyone else’s opinions or standards. Embrace your unique journey, celebrate your accomplishments, and be gentle with yourself when things don’t go as planned.

Remember, hope is a powerful force. It keeps us moving forward, even when the path is uncertain. So, hold onto it tightly. Believe in yourself, cherish your dreams, and never give up on the beautiful person you have the right to become.

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