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Your Come-Back Plan
Unlikely Gifts Unwrapped is your honest and darkly funny memoir about rebuilding your identity and sanity, after surviving Stage IIIc breast cancer. Why was this an important book for you to write?
Four months after finishing treatment, my husband, Rene, and I visited his family for the first time in over two years. We bear-hugged his sister and her family when they picked us up curbside at the airport, then as we drove away, a beloved family member innocently but flippantly said, “Well at least now you can put cancer behind you.”
I was initially stunned but quickly became enraged as imaginary daggers poked at my skin.
No one understands that cancer doesn’t end just because treatment is over, I thought. It came close to killing me, and the shock of the experience is still on my mind all the time. I’m so tired of people assuming I can easily unplug from cancer because I survived treatment and am still alive. I fumed internally and remained quiet for the rest of the trip.
During a conversation back home with Rene over breakfast a few weeks later, I was reminded of that innocent, hurtful exchange in the car. My blood pressure spiked as I told him how the words made me feel, then excused myself and ran downstairs to my office computer to vent.
I typed CANCER IS NEVER INVITED AND CANCER NEVER LEAVES. The words sounded crabby yet true, and I felt relief.
In that moment I realized the most effective way to process and ultimately heal—emotionally and physically—from cancer was to write my way back out of the depths of its obsessive grips.
What advice would you give to someone newly facing the “after” of trauma?
Approach your come-back plan the same way you would map out a strategy to recover from a physical ailment such as a head cold or a broken wrist or knee surgery. Embrace the often-overlooked reality that your brain is part of your body, and it similarly benefits from opportunities to rest, recuperate, and reset. Since recuperating and resetting from a traumatic experience might be more achievable if you are guided by a counselor or behavioral health professional specifically trained to help those impacted by cancer, consider that approach as well.
One of the strategies I applied to address my post-cancer trauma was to chart a new course. I turned 50 during treatment, so I viewed life after cancer as a symbolic opportunity to launch the second half of my life with a new attitude, a fresh head of hair, and a determination to gauge success by level of impact, not by financial gains.
What were some themes that were important for you to explore in this book?
One of my staunchest principles is to only offer advice or input if asked. Many friends and colleagues thought they were being helpful during treatment by telling me what I should do to survive cancer. I understood and appreciated their intentions, but most times they made me feel like a weak, pathetic failure because my emotions were amplified and I was drowning with anxiety. My goal with Unlikely Gifts Unwrapped was to encourage anyone who communicates with a cancer patient/survivor or caregiver to exude empathy and compassion by being an attentive listener, not a well-intentioned but babbling talker who may or may not have any idea what cancer feels like.
There is no one-size-fits-all answer or cure when it comes to cancer, although our healthcare system often seems like it was designed to function that way.
What do you wish more caregivers or medical professionals understood about post- treatment survivors?
Most caregivers and medical professionals understand that we survivors are human beings, not medical commodities. However, our healthcare system barely acknowledges, and most of the time does not have the bandwidth or financial capability to address post-treatment trauma. Unfortunately, fear of recurrence, anxiety, distress, and depression often begins, continues, or escalates after active cancer treatment is completed.
Science-backed research continues to affirm that survivors are likely to have more positive long-term outcomes if the resulting psychological trauma from their cancer experiences—which in some cases continues for the rest of their lives—is acknowledged and addressed.
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How is one supposed to feel besides exhausted? Grateful? Rational?
What does routine even mean anymore?
“Unlikely Gifts Unwrapped” is the long-anticipated sequel to “The Unlikely Gift of Breast Cancer,” named one of the best breast cancer books of all time by BookAuthority.
Award-winning author Diane M. Simard presents an unapologetic dive into the aftereffects of her experience with Stage IIIc breast cancer, including the struggles she encountered as she attempted to rebuild her identity. Moments of triumph, tragedy, transformation, and humor are recounted with inspirational hope and raw, no-holds-barred interpretation. Through her defining memoir writing style, Diane covers everything post-cancer, ranging from why she now despises ginger to her first cavity in third grade to lymphedema to Nebraska football. There’s even a story about cockroaches.
Toward the end of her five months of chemotherapy, Diane became so frustrated with the lack of focus paid to the psychological and emotional impacts of her cancer experience that she founded a psychosocial oncology specialty at the University of Denver to train future licensed clinical psychologists how to work with those impacted by cancer. She continues to advocate for educational opportunities and resources to assist in addressing the trauma that often accompanies such a distressing diagnosis. Since the intersection of mental health and cancer is a focal point in her narrative, several mental health therapists provide their perspectives on why the effects of cancer-related trauma—including anxiety, stress, and depression—are so challenging.
The account of Diane’s quest to find herself again and re-define her life after cancer is filled with intense grace, resilience, wisdom, and a powerful zeal to embrace a purpose-driven existence. Her authentic voice is witty and relatable, reminiscent of a chat with a cherished friend.
Karmic Debt
What the Living Do follows a woman navigating the wreckage of her past, a harrowing cancer diagnosis, and the line between self-destruction and redemption, all while searching for meaning and healing. What was the inspiration for the setup of your story?
I have been curious about what happens to the animals hit on our roads and wondered about those who had to dispose of them. If it was a woman doing that job, what would she be like? What would make her want a job that would bring her so close to death? She would have to be tough or want to be bullet-proof, and she would need a history that caused her to be so tough. Most stories begin with the question, “What if…?” So I asked, “What if she was diagnosed with cancer?” Well, maybe she thought she deserved it, and maybe she believed she didn’t deserve any of the good things in her life… hence, Brett was born.
How did Brett’s character evolve during the writing process?
For the most part, Brett is frustrated and frustrating. She pushes back against the good in her life and seriously considers running away to die. Through her encounters with animals—ones she hits, ones she finds, and her sweet dog, Beckett, she starts to pay attention to what is true. Even though she doesn’t seem to be listening to anyone, she actually hears everything. Most readers want to give her a wake-up slap but ultimately find they can understand and relate to her character.
What were some themes that were important for you to explore in this book?
The misguided idea that illness or disease is somehow deserved was the underlying theme. How we ask ourselves, “What did I do wrong?” when faced with a grave diagnosis, having an accident, suffering a loss, etc. From believing that God is punishing us for our sins to imagining we must repay a Karmic debt to what we ate or drank… many of us experience guilt when misfortune falls. We assume it must be our fault.
I also wanted to highlight the exploitation of sexual pleasure in children, and how those experiences can have damaging and lasting repercussions on one’s sexual attitudes.
Grieving is a long, long process, and everyone’s process is their own.
There’s also a nod to how difficult it is to adopt when one isn’t able to birth one’s own.
What do you hope readers take away from Brett’s story, especially those who may see parts of themselves in her struggles?
That it’s not your fault! Shit happens. And to find comfort in the goodness in one’s life, whatever form that might take.
Author Links: GoodReads | Substack | Write Your Way In | Facebook | Website | Amazon
Knowing You’re Loved
Round the Twist: Facing the Abdominable shares your story about fighting for your life against Stage-4C Colon Cancer and the hurdles you faced from people in the healthcare field and your personal life. Why was this an important book for you to write?
First, it seemed as if there was a recent wave of younger cancer patients (under 50) being diagnosed, and as soon as I got my diagnosis and tried to research what was going on, I discovered that most of the information (including memoirs and biographies) mostly dealt with 50+ patients. Colon cancer historically affects older adults (in their early 70s), so much of the information didn’t apply to me. I actually didn’t set out to write a book at first, I was just blogging about my experience, but then another writer suggested I turn it into a book—I might reach a larger audience of younger cancer patients who needed to hear my story so they could have someone to relate to.
Second, my issues with the healthcare field at the beginning are not uncommon. Since publication last fall, I’ve been contacted by many younger women, so I’ve heard too many stories from these women with colon cancer that they, too, had difficulty getting a proper diagnosis. I was very lucky that my gynecologist and primary physician were on top of my symptoms and tried their best to get me into the proper hands. Unfortunately, the first oncologists I met with were not as invested in my well-being. I think this is pretty common. I wanted other patients (women in particular) to know that they don’t have to accept the word of a doctor they don’t fully trust. It’s ok to walk away and start over again with a new doctor. Your life could depend on it, but we live in a society where we often feel we need to please people, and that doctors are somehow gods among men. This isn’t true! We, the patients, need to find our voices and speak up. It’s ok. No one is going to be insulted, but you will get better care.
What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?
I wanted mostly for people to understand that the experience of cancer is many-layered. We’re not just sad that we have cancer, or sick because we have chemo, or happy when we get a clear scan. There are so many facets to our new reality that it can be hard for people even to talk to their spouses about it. I’m lucky in that my husband and I are so open and honest in our communication that I could tell him exactly what I was feeling and know that he would try his best to understand. Not everyone has that (that doesn’t mean they’re not in a loving relationship, it’s just that sometimes talking about hard things can be, well, hard) and I felt that if I could lay myself out there open and honest to the world, then someone might point to a chapter and say, “If you read this chapter, you’ll understand how I feel right now.”
I also wanted to point out how difficult it is to go through something as private as cancer in a world with social media. I made the conscious decision to go through my treatments in the public eye—again because I thought it would ultimately help someone else who was feeling alone. They could point to my blog or a post or a photo. I could be their voice so they didn’t have to share.
What was most important, though, was to impress upon people that no matter how scary or dark the prognosis may be, there is a beautiful world going on all around us. It is a gift to sit in the grass, to pet the dogs, to eat a good meal, to hold your children in your arms, or be held by your lover. There is always hope. If you surround yourself with people who also believe in that hope, magical things can happen. I don’t mean friendship cures cancer! But it sure helps keep your mental state positive so that you can focus on getting better knowing you’re loved.
What is a common misconception you feel people have about how to support family and friends who receive a diagnosis of cancer, and what is one thing they can do that actually helps?
The first thing some people said to me was, “Let me know what I can do to help.” Cancer is so overwhelming, we often can’t think of much more than what we’re doing right at that moment. My husband was the one who decided what I would eat for meals because trying to decide for myself was too much. There was no way I could anticipate my own needs. So although the offer sounds great, it really is overwhelming—and I never ever told people what they could do to help because I didn’t know what I needed.
What was actually helpful were those who said, “I’m coming over to do your laundry,” and “Look on your front porch, I left some food.” There were countless mornings where people left bags of food on our porch. Offering something specific, like “Can I run to the grocery store for you?” is way more helpful. People stepped up and said things like, “Don’t worry about getting to your next radiation treatment, I’ll be there at 12:30 to pick you up.” My friends who did not take “no” for an answer were the most helpful of all!
And the one thing people can always do is check in often. Simple messages to say “I’m thinking of you,” have a huge effect. Especially when I was feeling down, and someone would text, “Just wanted to let you know I love you,” I would pop out of my dark cloud. There’s never a wrong moment to check on your friend.
What do you hope is one thing readers take away from your story?
I hope that they understand that my outcome was unique, I still haven’t met the 5-year survival statistic, and that I count my lucky stars every day that I’m still here. I’ve already lost two friends to colon cancer (who were also under 50) so I know how quickly these situations go wrong. Hold on to hope, but also hold on to facts, and face reality. Life is a gift, every single day, live to the fullest and never miss an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
Author Links: GoodReads | Facebook | Website | Amazon
The long and difficult journey to diagnosis was fraught with pitfalls and wrong turns, ambivalent doctors and insensitive nurses. Through the efforts of a strong advocate, she was finally placed in the care of some of the best doctors Los Angeles has to offer, only to be devastated to learn that she had Stage-4C Colon Cancer.
Facing unspeakable odds, she dove head first into aggressive treatments that decimated her body, but never destroyed her natural optimism and positivity.
Through the lens of the natural world around her, the young cancer survivor reveals the intensely private and deeply emotional aspects of fighting for her life. Sometimes with a pinch of humor but always with raw honesty, she holds on to bright hope that warmly invites you to share in her journey.
Every Diagnosis is Different
In Welcome To The Bright, you share with readers the challenges you faced as you readjusted to life after surviving a stage 4C colon cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatments. What inspired you to share your story?
As I was recovering, I was looking for resources online on how to cope with not only the physical changes that had happened to my body and the emotional troubles I was having but also for how to reintegrate into my former life. I wasn’t finding any help, so I turned to my fellow cancer survivors for advice. It turned out we all struggled with getting back to our previous careers and lifestyles. It became clear that I was not alone in feeling adrift, and it would be important to write about this phase of the cancer journey to help other people navigate this difficult and unexpected time.
I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?
For sure the hardest was sexual dysfunction. The doctors had a hard time talking to me about it, my survivor friends weren’t talking about it, and again I just couldn’t find solid resources out there to help me. It was another thing where I thought, “I’m not alone, so if I don’t talk about it, other women will never know it happens.” It was hard to think that my family and friends would read about this very private situation, but on the other hand, there were bound to be plenty of women out there who had survived cancer to find themselves in the same position as me, and they needed to hear my story. That chapter was written for them so that they knew this wasn’t something shameful to hide and ignore, and that they absolutely are not alone.
What is one piece of advice you wish you had been given when you were diagnosed with cancer?
“Don’t compare yourself to anyone else.” Everyone’s story is different, every diagnosis is different, and even the same kinds of cancers are different. It was difficult in my support group to listen to other people’s experiences and then worry that the same thing would happen to me. I had to accept and believe that I am unique, and none of us have an exact same reaction to the drugs so we shouldn’t all expect the same outcome. Just because one person had terrible pain with a surgery didn’t mean that I would. It took me a while to understand this and just keep my eyes on my own path and not get distracted or frightened by other people’s stories.
What is a common misconception you believe most people may have about cancer survivors?
Many people just expected me to jump straight back into my previous life as if nothing had ever happened. As a musician, suddenly everyone was inviting me to rehearsals, and friends wanted to take me out to lunch. There’s a lot of PTSD involved in having cancer, how it manifests is different for everyone. I was nowhere near ready to get back on stage or sit in a restaurant. The life I lived before cancer was foreign to me, and I was on a path to discovering who I was now, post-cancer. I think people (thankfully!) don’t understand what a profound effect cancer has on us, it literally changes our lives in unimaginable ways, and I was trying to discover who I was now, in the aftermath of cancer. I know people were excited to get me back, but I was a changed person and I felt as if I needed them to acknowledge that and learn about the new person standing before them.
Author Links: GoodReads | Facebook | Website | Amazon
She never expected how difficult it would be to transition from colon cancer patient to colon cancer survivor.
Beginning a new regimen of treatments meant to prevent a recurrence, she faced the daunting task of returning to her former life. Plagued with debilitating panic attacks, she turns to nature to find the strength and inspiration she needs to navigate her rocky post-cancer recovery.
Welcome to the Bright chronicles the year after Lisa’s first clear scan and her discovery that the path through the second half of her life is going to be a long and winding road. Becoming a survivor is just the beginning.
Round the Twist: Facing the Abdominable
Lisa Febre, a talented musician and yoga enthusiast, brings her creative flair to her memoir Round the Twist: Facing the Abdominable, which centers on her journey with colon cancer. The title’s play on the word “Abdominable” immediately grabs attention and sets the tone for the book’s blend of humor and inspiration. Febre masterfully weaves her story, offering an unembellished account of her medical experiences while highlighting the critical role of companionship. This memoir not only addresses the physical battle against cancer but also delves into the profound self-reflection that accompanies it.
Febre’s writing is remarkably engaging and transparent. Her vivid recollections, complemented by her reliance on the memories of others, bring authenticity to her narrative. Her storytelling is rich with personality and character, particularly in the way she uses metaphors. A standout story involves her dog, Dusty, who had to wear a cone after an injury. Once freed from it, Dusty destroys the cone, symbolizing Febre’s determination to overcome cancer and chemotherapy, her own “cone,” and envisions tearing it apart. Another poignant section of the memoir deals with the varied reactions of her friends to her diagnosis. Some friends became distant, a reaction that initially upset Febre but one she eventually understood. This part of the book is especially valuable for readers who may be unsure how to support loved ones with a cancer diagnosis. Febre candidly discusses how certain well-meaning phrases can be unhelpful, providing insight into the emotional landscape of cancer patients. Round the Twist is an invaluable memoir not only for those facing cancer but also for medical professionals. Febre extensively acknowledges the crucial support and care she received while also highlighting moments of neglect from some healthcare providers. These experiences underline the importance of seeing patients as individuals rather than just diagnoses. The clarity with which Febre addresses the impact of compassionate care makes this book a must-read for both patients and physicians, emphasizing the human element in medical treatment.
Round the Twist: Facing the Abdominable is a heartfelt and insightful memoir that combines humor, honesty, and profound life lessons. Febre’s ability to inspire and educate through her personal journey makes this book a compelling read for anyone navigating the challenges of cancer or seeking to better understand the patient experience.
Pages: 297 | ASIN : B0CB1SQQLD
Welcome to the Bright: The Winding Path from Survivor to Thrivor
Welcome To The Bright, The Winding Path From Survivor To Thrivor, by Lisa Febre, is a candidly written memoir that chronicles the journey of 48-year-old Lisa as she learns she has overcome stage 4C colon cancer. After a grueling year-long battle involving chemotherapy and radiation treatments, Lisa faces the daunting task of readjusting her life as a cancer survivor. This memoir delves into her struggles with anxiety, panic attacks, and the challenge of rediscovering the life she fought so hard to regain. Febre answers these and other pressing questions that anyone affected by cancer would seek to understand.
Febre’s writing is emotionally charged and compelling. She masterfully conveys her remarkable stability and commendable stamina. The memoir provides not only factual insights into the process of overcoming cancer but also intimate details of her battle with the disease. Readers are taken through her tumultuous journey of rediscovery, highlighting the highs and lows that come with adjusting to a new, cancer-free life after her first clear scan.
The depth and insight in Febre’s testimony make it an immersive read. Her narrative is filled with determination, hope, anxiety, and fear of the unknown, allowing readers to feel as though they are experiencing the journey alongside her. The book is a testament to her resilience and the profound transformation she undergoes.
Welcome To The Bright, The Winding Path From Survivor To Thrivor, by Lisa Febre, is a powerful memoir written by a gifted author. I highly recommend it to anyone, whether they are dealing with cancer themselves or supporting a loved one through the disease. Febre’s ability to turn fear and pain into a story of survival and light, even in the bleakest circumstances, is truly inspiring.
Pages: 280 | ISBN : 978-1685134891
Finding Mummy’s Glow
It can be incredibly difficult to find the words to help young children understand serious illnesses like cancer. Even more challenging is finding a way to help them process the many feelings and side effects associated with the cancer treatments their family members may be experiencing. With her book, Finding Mummy’s Glow, Mandy Woolf has gifted families a way to handle little ones’ questions in a loving way they will find easy to understand. I can’t think of a better gift for parents who are undergoing chemotherapy than to have a children’s book that answers the difficult questions for them.
In Finding Mummy’s Glow, Noah learns that his mother has cancer, and he tries every way possible to give her back the glow the disease has stolen from her. Mr. Snuggles, Noah’s teddy bear companion, joins him on his mission to make his mother feel better and help their home feel normal once again. Readers experience all the emotions alongside Noah as he becomes increasingly determined to make everything right in his mother’s world. Woolf’s book is touching and covers this topic with care in a way that comforts without creating worry.
I found the way that Woolf deals with Noah’s stress to be the most effective aspect of the narrative. When Noah worries that he might have caused his mother to be sick and that he might be able to catch the same disease his mother has, he is reassured by his mother with confidence and explanations that children will easily comprehend.
As a mother who has undergone treatment for skin cancer, I appreciate the approach Woolf has taken with this delicate topic. She does not shy away from having her main character express very real emotions. This realistic approach combined with the overarching sense of hope throughout the story and the fantasy elements surrounding Mr. Snuggles makes this a must-have book for families searching for ways to talk openly and honestly about cancer with their children.
Pages: 32 | ISBN : 978-1923020238
I Bristle At The Word “Inspiration”
Some Good Writ: Christmas, Cancer, Dad, Wine, Sex and Jeff is a collection of thought-provoking poetry covering everything from family to work to personal self-discovery. What was the inspiration for creating this collection of poetry?
You know. I bristle at the word “inspiration” in this case – for reasons. One is, I really can, and it not something for which I want a pat on the back, write poems daily. Sometimes I am a conduit to channel a message for myself to derive fulfillment where a piece of the puzzle may be missing, or to reaffirm a feeling. It was not at all hard to put most of these on paper – they wrote themselves, especially the ones about cancer which were written concurrently to his very short window of time I had left with him. He was starting to take leave mentally late Fall ’21/’22 but no one really knew it was stage 4 until only a week remained and given my propensity to write about everything, poems about working, my sexuality, and other vignettes tied to this time period just came viscerally.
What were some themes that were important for you to explore in this book?
Nothing or no one theme is ever more important than another and you always think your current compendium of work is your best so to me a mixed-bag of material allows each poem to complement in the others given I am trying to create a space in time reflective of what I feel now. The moment’s impact must be heightened by the suspension of time in that yes, we can feel one way from one hour to the next but ultimately the way something re-writes itself or the way the poet allows the muse to come forever defines the gravity of that which inspired the work.
What is one thing that you hope readers take away from Some Good Writ?
That if people who explored my previous work thought those might have been ambiguous or too general know that I can approach the personal or the universal or both in a work where precision for a writer is allowed to take many forms.
What is the next book that you are working on and when will it be available?
It is hard to say. I want to be in a different place where I can say to people that to capture more moments of joy is the endgame but that would be disingenuous to the reader and to myself so when it comes, it comes and whatever it is, I hope it finds an audience of one because, in the end, what the reader takes away from it is just as important as when they read it or that reading the requisite or the newest book is key. That said, I am curious to see where life’s journey takes me and what eye-openers await. Plus, my feelings about the imposition of time as a man-made construct aside and that we are all part of one mosaic already in-place, I feel the reader is meant to read it when they are, but I cannot wait, as I said, to see what lies ahead
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In this book, you’ll find many intriguing statements and thoughts that cover a plethora of topics that include relationships, family, career, personal growth, and more. From funny and poignant observations about daily life to deep and introspective musings on the human experience, “Some Good Writ.” has something for everyone.
Whether you’re looking for a good laugh, a shoulder to cry on, or simply a fresh perspective on the world, “Some Good Writ.” is sure to deliver. With its relatable and authentic voice, this book is a must-read for anyone who has ever struggled to find their place in the world or grappled with the complexities of the human experience.
This book is a beautifully crafted book of poetry that explores the many facets of love and care. Through a series of powerful and poignant poems, this collection delves into the depths of the human heart, illuminating the joys and struggles of loving and caring for others.
In the pages of this book, you’ll find a range of poems that touch on the many different aspects of life, love and care. From the tenderness of romantic love to the fierce and unbreakable bond of familial love, “Some Good Writ” covers it all. But this book is more than just a celebration of love; it’s also a call to action.
With its evocative and emotive language, “Some Good Writ” is sure to resonate with readers of all ages. Whether you’re seeking comfort and inspiration or simply looking for a beautiful and meaningful read, this poetry collection will surely deliver.
LITERARY TITAN 