Posted by Literary Titan
Lessons from the Frogs I’ve Kissed is a heart-wrenching and personal story of love and loss. Why was this an important book for you to write?
“If there’s a book you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” –Toni Morrison
The writing and sharing of my story became a significant journey of healing for me. I felt the universe was fully supporting my writing as the memories were downloaded and I was able to recall the most intricate detail and communicate my feelings and memories in relatable words. I realised then that not only was this book meant to be written as part of my own healing process, but that it also needed to be shared with others, as there are plenty of people out there who could benefit from the lessons I had learned. This truly was the book I wish I had when I was going through any one of my painful break-ups at any given time. During the process I realised the more honest, raw and authentic I was with myself, the more relatable my story would be. So I threw myself under the bus a few times, in order to make sure this is not a one sided, man hating tale, as there were always two people in the equation. It has been written with cringe-worthy honesty and dashes of humour to keep a somewhat heavy subject matter light and enjoyable.
I appreciated your willingness to share difficult moments in your life. What is one piece of advice you wish someone had given you?
One piece of advice that I wish someone had given me is that we tend to fall in love with our partners potential. We keep hoping and waiting for our situation to improve. What we don’t realise is that is just the kind of cake we bake with our partners, and that our relationships are unlikely to change into the fulfilling relationships we are hoping for. The dynamics between two people is set in the beginning. You will not magically be attracted to someone or earn their respect if it was not there from the onset.
You detail an abusive and destructive relationship, but I found the book to be ultimately uplifting. What do you hope readers take away from your story?
I really hope to give my readers perspective on their own relationships, whether they are good or bad ones, just something to compare them to. I also wish to give hope, hope that true love and happiness does exist. One of my big realisations was that in order to meet someone who could genuinely love me and I love them, I had to find self-love first, and I think this was one of my most valuable lessons.
One of my readers stopped me in the local shopping centre to let me know since reading my book she had the full realisation that she is married to a Pete, and she is now certain she needs to get out of her marriage, When I hear feedback like this I know my book is here for a reason.
What is the next book that you are writing and when will it be available?
I had to laugh when I was first asked this question. My book hadn’t been been out for three days after working on it for almost 5 years and people were already wanting to know when they could expect my next book. I had a rather sticky court case recently when I was sued for parental alienation. There is definitely a book there which I feel will help other women and men in similar situations. I guess I need to get my writing cap on soon.
I invite you to be a fly on the wall as I revisit all my significant adult relationships and share the invaluable life lessons I have learnt over the last 20 years. In my most desperate moments, whether dating or married, I searched for a book that could give me some much-needed perspective on my current circumstances. That book did not exist – until now.
Many of us have been in romantic relationships which feel incredible in the beginning but end up in trauma, regret and despair. How do we stop ourselves from becoming locked in cycles of abuse? What are the unconscious dating patterns that underlie our romantic interactions? How do we know what we are looking for in a partner ? And most importantly why do we need to learn to love ourselves first? Written with dashes of humour and cringe-worthy honesty, I am sure you will find Lessons From the Frogs I’ve Kissed to be an entertaining and powerful read, which should help you in your own personal journey in finding ever-lasting love and happiness.
Posted in Interviews
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Posted by Literary Titan
If you can imagine it, Krystal has experienced it. If you’ve ever wondered what an abusive relationship truly feels like, Krystal can tell you. If you’re curious as to what a true survivor looks like, take a good long look at Krystal–her life is a testament of dedication, overcoming the worst of the worst in relationships, and learning from one’s mistakes. When Krystal finds Pete, she believes she has found forever. She could never have foreseen that the world into which she would bring her children would be one in which their father would make their lives a living hell.
Krystal Kolnik’s Lessons From Frogs I’ve Kissed is one of the most heart-wrenching stories of love and loss I have ever read. The strength it takes Krystal to simply live from day to day in the presence of such a dismissive and disloyal husband is completely stunning. As I read page after page filled with descriptions of her husband’s indiscretions and manic outbursts, my heart ached and I was filled with a rage of my own.
Krystal’s willingness to open her heart and spill her experiences for the world to read is beyond admirable. More than that, her story resonates with both men and women across the globe. Abusive relationships of one type or another are, sadly, a common occurrence. Readers who are desperately seeking validation will see themselves mirrored in the way Krystal is drawn back to Pete time and time again as his hollow promises are broken one after another–so goes the life of a victim of domestic abuse.
From Krystal’s own struggle to believe or not to believe Pete to her family and friends’ choice to conceal their own knowledge of Pete’s ongoing affairs, the author details each and every crushing blow before calmly describing the ease with which Pete is able to slide from his duties as a father and husband into the life he prefers as a sleazy cheater and abusive sociopath. Without having to present him as an actual character, Krystal succeeds in giving readers an antagonist worthy of all the hatred they can muster.
Krystal details the day-to-day struggles of being a single parent wanting to date in today’s world. Her descriptions of her young daughter’s vision of her father are almost too much to bear. Her recollections of his tantrums and abuse make my stomach turn. Krystal and her children have lived through more than their share of hard days and deserve all the good times life now has to offer.
Relationship after relationship, Krystal lays it all out on the line and goes for broke. Time after time, she is met with adversity. She does a wonderful job of making readers feel her pain and frustration–her descriptions of online dating are relatable in every way.
This is easily one of the most engaging stories I have read in years. Krystal’s mistakes become her lessons and, in turn, become the reader’s as well. Were it not for authors like Krystal, many of us would continue to feel alone in our frustration and misery. Krystal opens the door for communication. For that, I am grateful.
Pages: 342 | ASIN: B07NP6FNXC
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