Dead Mom Disease is a heart-felt memoir about the loss of a loved one and the roller-coaster of emotions that come with it. Why was this an important book for you to write?
I always wanted to be a writer, but I never wanted to be an author. I can’t tell you how many times people told me I should write a book, and my answer never changed – I didn’t want to. In college, I had an assignment in a lit class. We had three or four options of the type of project we would turn in. One of them was to write the first three or four chapters of our autobiography. That option is the only one that I had any interest in, and I didn’t even think about the subject – my sister and I had coined the term, “Dead Mom Disease,” a few years prior, and we already floated around the idea of using it for a book title. A few years after I graduated, I was offered a freelance job to edit a book. That’s what made me realize that I could absolutely write a book. I guess the only reason I never really wanted to before was because I didn’t think I could. So, was it important in the sense that I set a goal for myself to write the book, and I wanted to accomplish it? Yes. But, I never really thought of writing the book “Dead Mom Disease” as something that was important for me to do – it was more like I wanted to write a book, and it was only natural that this is the story I would tell.
What is one thing you hope readers take away from your book?
I hope, whether it’s through my book or any other means, more people start to realize that grief looks different for everyone and that it lasts forever.
What is one piece of advice you wish someone had given you when you lost your mother?
Honestly … nothing. I had all of the advice I needed. What I didn’t have was the understanding. For a while, I wished that I had listened to more people – about how time is precious and not to take people for granted. But you just can’t understand some things until you have experienced them. I was a kid. Of course there are things I would have done differently then if I knew what I knew now, but I think pretty much everyone can say that about everything.
My mom’s advice was always, “Follow your heart.” And my dad has always reminded me that “There’s a time for everything.” I have carried these two pieces of advice everywhere with me since I was a small child, and they will go with me to my grave.
What was the writing process like for you to complete this book?
Well, it was a process, that’s for sure. It was interesting, fun, sad, weird, eye-opening, educational, and so much more. While writing the book, it’s as if my mind was subconsciously aware that I was working on something, so it was bringing all of these memories to the surface. I remembered things I had long forgotten, realized I forgot things I never thought I would, it made me curious about things I never questioned before, it forced me to face a lot of darkness, and it made me so proud to hold the finished manuscript in my hand. It was something that I put a lot of effort into, and I was motivated to do it even though I had no idea what I would do once I was done writing it. It also taught me how important it is to define goals, make plans to achieve them, and hold yourself accountable. I used to wonder how people wrote books, and now I know – the same way anyone does anything … you have to start.
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An emotional memoir by a mother who shares the harrowing experience of losing her son to suicide. Brian was her first baby boy: from the very beginning, he was a quick learner who readily made friends. As a teenager and young adult, he grew into a talented artist and musician, who also had a facility for languages, loved food and travel. He lived life. In this emotional memoir, Brian’s mother tries to understand the sudden mental illness that took over Brian’s life and led to his suicide. She describes the failures of the systems that could have helped him. And she shares her efforts to heal—a difficult path that other grieving families know all too well.
Every mother’s journey is unique, however, they all share one thing: heartache. In one way or another, every mother travels down a difficult road as she fights tooth and nail to bring her child to adulthood unscathed. Sandra Bowman, author of The Farthest-Reaching Ball: A Memoir of Motherhood is no stranger to heartache. As the mother of two children, Grant and Parker, Bowman relates the trials and tribulations she overcomes as she raises her children virtually on her own. A mother’s love is nowhere more evident than in Bowman’s explanation of how she comes to understand the needs of her children and the struggle that has permeated her son’s life since an early age.
Sandra Bowman describes virtually every aspect of her journey as a mother in her poignant memoir, The Farthest-Reaching Ball. She details the birth of her sons so vividly that I felt, as the reader, that I attended the delivery. Her emotions surrounding the births are clearly drawn, and any parent who has experienced a particularly difficult birth will appreciate how very frank Bowman is with her details.
As a teacher, I am struck by the battle Bowman and her son, Grant, face as he begins school. His gifts are both amazing and obvious to all, but the obstacles he faces are numerous. Children with talents beyond those of the average child are often overlooked in the regular classroom, and they are not always afforded the opportunity to showcase their skills. Grant is one of those children with a mother on a mission to find a setting that suits her child’s best interests.
When Bowman’s son begins to experience behavior challenges and depression sets in, the author’s challenges multiply. Moreover, Grant’s own slowly-revealed identity crisis begins to consume his thoughts and every interaction. Bowman is more than understanding and is the proverbial mother bear–she is fierce and stops at nothing to make sure her child is content with himself. The author is beyond adept at communicating her feelings and her ever-fluctuating fears regarding Grant’s mental state. His worries are her worries, and his unhappiness is hers to bear.
There doesn’t seem to be a problem Bowman and her son haven’t endured. From excessive weight gain, to depression, to attention deficit disorder, Grant runs the gamut. Bowman is exceptionally open with her own feelings of defeat, despair, and utter helplessness. She is at loss as to how to help her son deal with an identity crisis that threatens to be the end of them all. Mothers of all walks of life can relate to Bowman’s honesty as she admits to her own suicidal thoughts.
I am impressed with Bowman’s forthrightness and openness. She lays out every frustration, worry, and obstacle for readers and shares with them the most intimate of details about her own regrets as a mother. Parents of children struggling with identity crises of all types will appreciate Bowman’s story.
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The King of Halloween & Miss Firecracker Queen is a memoir of your life growing up in a family that traveled often and the challenges you faced and lessons you learned. Why was this an important book for you to write?
I wrote this book for my mother- to help her heal after my dad’s death. We had spent almost 20 years dealing with his decline. Thus, it became all we could remember and all my children knew of their grandfather. I thought that if I could write the complete story, it would help all of us remember the good with the bad. Once I got into it, it helped me understand myself more fully, and set me up to live my current life which is wonderful.
This is a ‘daughters tale of family and football’. What were some ideals you wanted to capture in this book?
I want readers to feel the love and complexity of this family. We had/have big love for each other, and had a big love for football. I want readers to know that you can overcome the hang ups from your childhood. I want readers to see that race in the South was more complex than is typically discussed. I want people to know that sports can be a bridge. I want families that are dealing with the cognitive decline of a loved one to know that they can forgive themselves their impatience and frustration with the situation; we are all just doing the best we can with the situation as we understand it in the moment.
The book shows the dedication your father had towards his career and family. What is something that stands out to you to this day about your father?
My father was relentless- that was the key to his success. He was full of optimism and faith in things bigger than himself.
What do you hope readers take away from your story?
First, that my father would not have made a different choice, but he did not make an informed one. I want parents to think carefully about letting their young children engage in any kind of contact sport. I want football in general, and the NFL in particular, to think more deliberately about additional reforms to football that will make it safer. I want the general public to understand the burden CTE places on a family. And I want families that have experienced CTE to draw some comfort from reading our story.
The King of Halloween & Miss Firecracker Queen tells the story of a football life from a daughter’s perspective. Chronicling a rise through the competitive ranks—from high school to college to professional coaching, and ultimately a Super Bowl championship—it also reveals the struggle to deal with the decline and death of the patriarch, Lamar Leachman, from chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) as a result of that life.
With forewords by NFL legends Phil Simms and Harry Carson, this is a true story of one family’s love for a game and for each other, one man’s strength of character, one woman’s love that sustained him.
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One thing that makes this book unique is the arrangement of the words. I sometimes had the feeling I have when reading poetry. Jose De Koster is an easy writer. I can’t describe the arrangement in the book as entire prose, or partly poetic, what I know is that the author told his story in a distinct way, making his work exceptional on all levels. I first fell in love with the pictures in the book. The self-portraits, oil on hardboard images and oil on canvas were all beautiful pieces of art. My favorite was the painting of ‘The Lonely Artist’. A picture is truly worth a thousand words. It did not stop there – Jose De Kroser also added pictures of his family in between his writing. I know I spent a good part of my time just looking at the pictures.
The author first introduces us to his life through his mother’s words. The mother encouraged him to keep writing as she had hoped he would become a journalist. Jose De Koster fell in love with words at a very tender age. Through this book, one gets to know that he felt art and literature on a spiritual level. I feel a little connected to the author when he mentioned four of his favorite authors. Pablo Neruda, Marina Tsvetaeva, Osip Mandelstam, and Anna Akhmatova are the four literary icons the author mentioned. I love that he mentioned the first two as I too adore their works. The author’s narration confirms what a gifted writer he was. I enjoyed reading through as he talked about living in the Blue Mountains of New South Wales.
Jose De Koster narrated his story wonderfully. The authored adored his mother and treated her as the most special being. He equally loved his father and brother Ed, but the love he had for his mother was something else. I enjoyed reading on the bit where he discussed faith. It did not come to me as a surprise when the author wrote how he grew up as a Roman Catholic; his mother’s faith, not following his father who was Lutheran. Religion was an important aspect in their lives back then. I loved the memories he shared in regard to the Catholic faith he followed when young.
Fragments of A Journey… A Fistful of Life is a lovely memoir. The author’s recollection of his childhood complete with pictures attached is beautiful. The best thing about Jose’s life was the love they had in the family. His life was simple yet he was able to live to the fullest. His writing is matchless and admirable. The book is both short and interesting that one can complete in one sitting.
ISBN 13: 978-0-646-98150-5
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If you can imagine it, Krystal has experienced it. If you’ve ever wondered what an abusive relationship truly feels like, Krystal can tell you. If you’re curious as to what a true survivor looks like, take a good long look at Krystal–her life is a testament of dedication, overcoming the worst of the worst in relationships, and learning from one’s mistakes. When Krystal finds Pete, she believes she has found forever. She could never have foreseen that the world into which she would bring her children would be one in which their father would make their lives a living hell.
Krystal Kolnik’s Lessons From Frogs I’ve Kissed is one of the most heart-wrenching stories of love and loss I have ever read. The strength it takes Krystal to simply live from day to day in the presence of such a dismissive and disloyal husband is completely stunning. As I read page after page filled with descriptions of her husband’s indiscretions and manic outbursts, my heart ached and I was filled with a rage of my own.
Krystal’s willingness to open her heart and spill her experiences for the world to read is beyond admirable. More than that, her story resonates with both men and women across the globe. Abusive relationships of one type or another are, sadly, a common occurrence. Readers who are desperately seeking validation will see themselves mirrored in the way Krystal is drawn back to Pete time and time again as his hollow promises are broken one after another–so goes the life of a victim of domestic abuse.
From Krystal’s own struggle to believe or not to believe Pete to her family and friends’ choice to conceal their own knowledge of Pete’s ongoing affairs, the author details each and every crushing blow before calmly describing the ease with which Pete is able to slide from his duties as a father and husband into the life he prefers as a sleazy cheater and abusive sociopath. Without having to present him as an actual character, Krystal succeeds in giving readers an antagonist worthy of all the hatred they can muster.
Krystal details the day-to-day struggles of being a single parent wanting to date in today’s world. Her descriptions of her young daughter’s vision of her father are almost too much to bear. Her recollections of his tantrums and abuse make my stomach turn. Krystal and her children have lived through more than their share of hard days and deserve all the good times life now has to offer.
Relationship after relationship, Krystal lays it all out on the line and goes for broke. Time after time, she is met with adversity. She does a wonderful job of making readers feel her pain and frustration–her descriptions of online dating are relatable in every way.
This is easily one of the most engaging stories I have read in years. Krystal’s mistakes become her lessons and, in turn, become the reader’s as well. Were it not for authors like Krystal, many of us would continue to feel alone in our frustration and misery. Krystal opens the door for communication. For that, I am grateful.
Pages: 342 | ASIN: B07NP6FNXC
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An Invisible Child is a memoir of your life growing up with an abusive mother. Why was this an important book for you to write?
I have an unusual story to tell. It is a true story. It is a story about pain, despair, and a struggle to survive. It is my story. I grew up invisible. I was unloved, abused, and shut away from the outside world. There was no school for me, no classmates, no friendships with other children. Under my psychotic mother’s rules I was not even allowed to be touched or speak to family members. I was my mother’s prisoner, and I lived in panic and fear. Later, when I left my mother’s asylum I found it very difficult to function in the world. I started to write my story for myself, with a need to release my pent-up feelings by writing about them. In the process, I was able to free myself of some of the unbearable pain I experienced in childhood. I soon realized what a compelling story I had to tell. So I decided to put it out into the Universe with a hope that others might learn from what I went through and be able to overcome as I have. Writing this book has also helped me to find my own voice.
The book recounts many memories that were sad and sometimes unbelievable. What served as a guide for you while writing your story?
My feelings and memories were my guide, plus a file my uncle kept on me when I was growing up. My uncle was persona non grata and was not allowed into my mother’s apartment. But he was collecting information from my grandmother and father about the abnormal isolated life I was living with my mother. As I went through the file I found all kinds of information, including a legal document stating that my mother was about to take her life along with mine when I was four. I used the file to write about all sorts of hidden details of my childhood that I never knew about.
Writing a memoir causes one to look back at their life in a different lens.
Writing a memoir causes one to look back on their life in a different lens. Is there anything you see differently now that you wrote this book?
Yes, I am now much more aware of how horrible my life was when I was growing up, I just didn’t want to see it. I didn’t want to deal with the reality of it. Now that I have been able to confront my past, I have been able to feel my feelings, cry my tears, and finally accept my childhood for what it was — and go on from there. I am no longer terrorized by my mother’s demons, and her voice in my head has been replaced by my own. I revised my book several times, and each time I have come closer to the truth of who I really am.
The story ultimately serves as a message of hope. What do you hope readers take away from the book?
I do hope my book will be helpful to those of you who feel lost and alone in a world that can be cold, cruel, and indifferent. What I want to convey to my readers, more than anything else, is a feeling of hope. One can suffer, the human spirit can be crushed and one can plummet into an abyss, but one can rise above despair. I know – because I have, as I went from one crisis to another, learning and growing emotionally, overcoming the pain that dominated my life. By persisting and not giving up, one can eventually succeed and make a life that is fulfilling, with pleasures and joys from just being alive.
Trapped in the twisted world of a psychotic mother, Lenore Ossen is shut away from the outside world. For her, there is no school. No classmates. No friendships with other children. Under her mother’s insane rules, she can’t even turn to family members for solace, and so, day after day, she lives in panic and fear. How can she survive such terrible treatment? In deep despair, Lenore learns to retreat to the safety of her own mind. There she creates a world of fantasy and yearns for someone to take her away from her deranged mother. But there is no one. Most people suffering such abuse would go out of their minds. What makes Lenore different? How does she endure? What drives her to rise above her traumatic past?
In this compelling true story, Lenore Ossen describes what living in isolation with a psychotic mother feels like to an innocent child. In telling how she broke free of the nightmare enslaving her, she reaches out to give hope and comfort to other victims of abuse.
Posted in Interviews
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MAMA SOU is the true story of a young mother who gets her son taken away. This book is pure love and emotion and nearly had me in tears several times. As the story unfolds, you see how much love Maria has for her son, and how she will do anything to get him back. She is strong, independent, and ready to fight for what is hers. Aside from the incredible story that is being told in these pages, the writing is superb and beautifully delivers a fully realized vision of the characters and the places they inhabit. It is incredible the lengths that people go to for their family, and the fact that this is someone’s real story is both beautiful and heartbreaking.
Whether you are a parent or not, you will feel the love that went into writing this story, and the emotions between the people in the story. The author, the mother herself, pours her heart into every chapter. I’ve read some books like this one, where a young mother struggles to gain her family back, but there is something special about Maria’s story. Maybe it’s the year that it happened, which was some 40 years ago, when these types of things weren’t really talked about, or maybe it’s because it happened in Greece. Either way, it holds a special place in my heart, and I will not forget this story any time soon.
As someone who has suffered from depression most of my life, seeing how Maria handled her depression was inspirational. That fact that she was able to fight for what she so desperately needed, all while dealing with mental illness, was incredible. I fully enjoyed this book, I think that whether you have kids or not, you will find some special meaning within these pages. The story is sometimes harsh, sometimes sweet, but definitely full of lessons to learn for everyone that reads it. I only wish that we could learn more about Maria and her story, and more about her son.
Pages: 118 | ASIN: B0793VJFFG
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