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The Hand I Was Dealt
In Life and How to Live It: Near Wild Heaven, you share with readers the trauma, confusion, and the beliefs that shaped you. Why was this an important book for you to write?
I started writing my memoir series in 2019, after witnessing my only sibling pass away at the age of 45. She was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer that took her within four months she was diagnosed.
I got to the hospice she was in, which was an 8-hour drive away, just in time to see her take her last gagging breath. It was something that shocked me to my core.
I decided soon after that I had to do something with my life. This death was just another tragedy that my life was full of.
I started writing my memoir shortly after about my childhood growing up in poverty in Philadelphia. I grew up in the 80s and 90s in a rundown, lower-class neighborhood called Kensington. My father was a long-time heroin addict, and my mother was a devout evangelical born-again Christian. This was how I entered the world and the hand I was dealt.
The first book chronicles how I entered such rotten conditions and what I found along the way to keep me going. Mainly friends I made, and especially the popular music of the times. R.E.M. was a huge influence on me. So much so that the book series’ title and subtitles are from songs from the band.
The first one ends with me in an emotional predicament that leaves me feeling numb from the trauma I experienced so far by the age of 17.
This installment picks up right after and shows a kid full of confusion and no options in life, trying to pick up the pieces of his life and find his way.
The first book is more of a launching pad for my story. This one is the real beginning of how I lived and tried to find meaning in it all.
It’s the beginning of my sort of wild years. Hence why I call it Near Wild Heaven. I show how I lived my teen years without many filters or boundaries on. I show how I live in the moment as much as I can and try to figure out this life we are all in. Along the way, I tell stories of the girls I fell for, run-ins with local cops, meeting people who were out to make me feel bad about being myself, mental health problems that plagued me, and running down dreams that were never coming to me.
It was important for me to get these out to show I didn’t just live in vain. I experienced these moments, and I think they’re worth telling.
I appreciated the honesty with which you tell your story. What was the most difficult thing for you to write about?
When I started writing this series, I knew I just wanted to tell it like it was. I wanted to be honest about everything. The problem there was that I had to relive some painful memories. I remembered everything that happened to me back, but putting it to paper and explaining how things happened and how they made me feel was a bit difficult to do. The worst part was the telling of meeting people who questioned my faith in humanity. I met people who were so cruel and ugly to me at such a young age that it left me feeling insecure and constantly conflicted about how I saw my fellow man. People who were just out to manipulate and kill my positive energy did a number on my mental state and my views on society in general for a bit back then. I couldn’t grasp why some people would just be downright ugly to people who did nothing to them. Then I realized some people don’t have the courage to be decent human beings.
Did you learn anything about yourself as you were putting this book together?
Writing this book was at first a bit difficult. I was writing these during the Covid lockdown. So all I did then was work (I was an essential worker) and write. There wasn’t much entertainment or distractions going on then. So reliving some of this put me in a dark place for a while. When I got out of the time periods I found most troubling to write about, and started to get the editing done, I felt a sense of accomplishment or a reminder of who I was then and how I hope that self is still alive in me now. This book is set when I was 17/18 and I was full of ambition and passion for life. 30 years later, it’s harder to have such fire in life. No matter how one is raised, 30 years of life takes a toll on you. Writing this one and what is going to be the next one (that’s being edited now and is the same time frame) was a reminder of who I am to the core and how I can’t ever forget that.
What advice would you give to someone who is considering sharing their own memoir with readers?
My advice is to be honest and try to write from your experiences, but also think of how others might read or see it. Try to explain how things happened, but make sure it’s universal as much as so the reader can relate and understand the situations.
Author Links: GoodReads | Instagram | Facebook | Website | Amazon
In the gripping second volume of his memoir series, Chaz Holesworth steps out of the wreckage of his Philadelphia childhood and into a new wilderness: adolescence, longing, awakening, and the dangerous freedom of life beyond the rules that once defined him.
Raised in a world where faith meant fear and obedience meant survival, Chaz enters his teenage years numb and isolated. Emotions are weakness. Questions are sin. Desire is the enemy. But when first love cracks open the cage, and forbidden music floods in, everything he has been taught about identity, God, and himself begins to unravel.
With every lyric he wasn’t allowed to hear, and every mile he runs from home, Chaz discovers pieces of a self he never knew he could claim. Friends become family. Music becomes prayer. And movement becomes the only escape from a growing storm of shame, confusion, and spiritual fallout he doesn’t yet have language for.
Drugs, heartbreak, adventure, and raw curiosity collide as Chaz tries to live fast enough to stay ahead of his past. But survival has a cost, and reclaiming his voice means confronting everything silence once protected him from.
Lyrical, honest, and unflinchingly human, Life and How to Live It: Near Wild Heaven is a coming-of-age memoir about breaking indoctrination, surviving first love, and learning to choose life after years of enforced silence. Set against the pulse of mid-90s music and youth culture, it is a story for anyone who has ever tried to outrun their past, or finally stopped running.
Life and How to Live It: Near Wild Heaven
Life and How to Live It: Near Wild Heaven, by Chaz Holesworth, drops readers right into the chaos of a teenager trying to rebuild himself after being torn apart by a strict, fear-driven religious upbringing. The book moves through Chaz’s numb early days outside the born-again world, his collapsing sense of self, and the fragile moments of hope he finds in friendships, music, and small sparks of love. The story follows him as he wrestles with trauma, confusion, and the constant pull of old beliefs that shaped him. Page after page shows how he hangs on to whatever beauty he can find while walking through one emotional storm after another.
As I read, I kept feeling this knot in my stomach. The writing has a raw honesty that hits fast. Chaz explains his inner world with simple words that land hard. I could feel his panic when he talks about losing feeling in himself, and I could feel the heaviness in the way he walks for miles just to outrun his thoughts. The book does not try to sound wise or polished. Instead, it feels like sitting across from someone who is finally telling the truth about their worst moments. Sometimes the scenes moved almost too quickly, and I wanted him to stop and breathe, yet that speed felt real for a kid trying to stay ahead of his own mind.
What surprised me most was how the writing mixes dark confusion with sudden beauty. One moment, Chaz is talking about cutting himself or chanting old religious phrases to fight his fears. The next moment, he is describing a song that lights him up again. The whole story feels like that. Heavy. Quiet. Then alive for a second. I love how he talks about music. Those parts felt almost tender. It made me care even more because you can see how these songs kept him going when nothing else did. The book sometimes circles the same worries again and again. Still, that repetition feels true to what panic actually is. It does not move in straight lines. It loops, digs, and drags you back.
By the end, I walked away feeling protective of this kid he used to be. The story works because it does not offer easy answers. It simply lets you see the fight inside someone who was thrown into adulthood without a map. I would recommend Near Wild Heaven to anyone who grew up in a controlling or religious home, anyone who struggled with feeling lost as a teen, or anyone who holds music close because it saved them at least once. It carries a strange kind of hope. Holesworth’s work is a must-read for readers who appreciate honest memoirs about trauma and survival.
Pages: 219 | ASIN : B0G86SPCVD
Keeping The Stethoscope, Hanging Up The Uniform!: The Curse of Combat Disability Retirement
Keeping the Stethoscope, Hanging Up the Uniform! is a raw and forceful memoir that follows Steven Wayne Davis as he moves from the intensity of military medical service into the equally demanding world of civilian emergency care. The book blends personal history, frontline trauma scenes, and a fierce critique of how the United States treats its combat-disabled veterans. In simple terms, the story traces what happens when someone who gave everything comes home and finds the system stacked against him. The result is part autobiography, part social commentary, and fully grounded in the lived experience of a combat-disabled veteran trying to stay afloat.
The writing is direct. Sometimes weighty. Sometimes almost poetic in how it describes exhaustion, anger, and purpose. Davis doesn’t dance around his trauma or the trauma he’s witnessed. The early chapters drop you straight into the ER, and those scenes throb with the same frantic rhythm he lived through. What struck me most was how he uses the language of medicine and combat not to impress but to show us what’s at stake. The choices he makes as an author feel intentional. He lets certain moments sit in silence, and he lets others crack open with frustration. It works. You can feel the emotion in the pauses.
What I also liked was his honesty about the bigger system. He talks about disability offsets, homelessness, suicide, and the empty ritual of “thank you for your service” with a mix of weariness and fire. It’s a tough blend, but he pulls it off because he’s writing from within the problem, not looking at it from the outside. The ideas in the book aren’t polished arguments. They’re lived realities, and they’re delivered with the kind of clarity that comes from surviving things most people never see. At times I found myself nodding along. Other times, I felt a lump in my throat. The memoir genre is full of reflection, but this one feels like someone opening a door they’ve held shut for years.
By the time I finished, I felt grateful that Davis chose to write this at all. The story isn’t trying to be perfect. It’s trying to be honest. And that honesty is what gives the book its strength. Readers who appreciate memoirs rooted in service, healthcare, mental health, and social justice will find a lot here to sit with. If you’ve ever wondered what happens to the people we send to war after the uniforms come off, this book doesn’t just answer the question. It challenges you to care about the answer. A powerful memoir that refuses to stay quiet, speaking the truth that so many veterans live but rarely share.
Pages: 192 | ASIN : B0G1L9FM6F
Little Edna’s War
Little Edna’s War follows the life of Edna Szurek, a young girl whose world collapses when the Germans invade Warsaw in 1939. The book moves through her early childhood in a loving Jewish family, the terror of the bombings, the creation of the Warsaw Ghetto, and the years she survives by hiding, disguising herself, and relying on her wits. It traces her shifting identities, her impossible choices, and her struggle to stay alive as the city around her crumbles. By weaving Edna’s memories with historical detail, the book creates a vivid, painful, and hopeful record of one child’s endurance during the Holocaust.
This was a very emotional book for me. The writing is direct and heartfelt, and I felt pulled into Edna’s world with a force that surprised me. The author keeps the language clean and clear, which makes the fear and confusion in those early scenes even more powerful. I kept pausing, letting the weight of simple moments sink in. A child worrying about getting to a birthday party on time. A sister brushing dust from her eyes after a bombing. A mother trying to hide her terror during Shabbat dinner. These small pieces made the horror feel close and personal, and I found myself dizzy from potent emotions more than once. The story isn’t dressed up with complicated language. It just lets the emotional truth stand on its own, and that honesty worked on me.
I found myself thinking a lot about how identity shifts under pressure. Edna changes names and roles. She becomes a Catholic girl, then a street kid, then a resistance courier. The writing never turns this into a grand point. It shows how a child adapts because she has no other choice. That quiet, matter-of-fact tone made the whole journey feel even more heartbreaking. The book also captures how memory can be both a lifeline and a wound, and I felt that each time Edna reached for a song her mother once sang or tried to remember something about the home she lost. I kept wanting to reach into the pages and steady her. The storytelling brings out that kind of protective instinct.
I was moved by both the writing and the spirit behind it. The book is written with deep care, and you can feel the author’s love for Edna in every scene. I’d recommend this book to readers who want a personal lens on the Holocaust, especially those who connect more with intimate, character-driven stories than with broad historical overviews. It’s also a strong choice for anyone who wants to understand how children survive the unthinkable. It’s painful, yes, but also full of strength, and I’m glad I read it.
Pages: 544 | ASIN : B0FZX3JHYG
By His Grace: My Story of Survival, Escape and Triumph
Becoming an advocate for child sex abuse prevention demands a rare depth of empathy, one not everyone possesses. Yet, for those who have survived the unthinkable, that understanding runs deeper than words can capture. This is especially true for Katy Sudano, the author of this powerful and deeply personal memoir. Having endured repeated abuse, she embarked on a tumultuous journey both physically and emotionally, fleeing one nightmare only to encounter new challenges along the way. At times, she questioned whether life held any meaning at all. But everything changed when she became a mother. In that moment, she discovered an unshakable strength, one rooted in faith, resilience, and an unwavering belief in a higher power.
By His Grace: My Story of Survival, Escape, and Triumph is not for the faint of heart. Co-written with Ginger Green, Sudano’s memoir is a raw and unfiltered account of survival against impossible odds. At times, it reads like a real-life episode of Law & Order: SVU, a haunting narrative so intense that it could easily be mistaken for fiction. Yet, the harrowing experiences it recounts are largely true, with only minor details altered. The sheer scope of Sudano’s suffering is staggering, making it all the more remarkable that she emerged with her sanity and her spirit intact.
The book shifts between harrowing memories of abuse and moments of profound healing, weaving a narrative that is both gripping and deeply introspective. The transitions feel seamless, a testament to Sudano’s storytelling ability. Despite the pain inflicted upon her by multiple individuals, she forged a steadfast connection with a divine presence—one she credits with giving her the strength to endure and ultimately triumph. Her unwavering faith serves as the bedrock of her survival, allowing her to navigate a path that would have shattered many others.
This is not an easy read, but its urgency and emotional gravity are undeniable. Readers who steel themselves for the journey will find a story that is nothing short of extraordinary. Sudano’s resilience is both personal and universal, a testament to the unbreakable nature of the human spirit. By His Grace is more than a memoir; it is a declaration of survival, courage, and hope, a story that lingers long after the final page is turned.
Pages: 306 | ASIN : B0DV79Z91W
13 Years Lost: An Unbelievable Story of Fleeing Communist Poland to Traveling the World Serving the United Nations
Christine Sadry’s 13 Years Lost is a moving memoir that chronicles her journey from a small village in rural Poland to a successful 31-year career at the United Nations. The story begins with the tragic death of her mother, which shatters her family and leads to Christine’s adoption and relocation to America. Separated from her loved ones, she endures 13 years of abuse and hardship, a period that defines much of her early life. Despite her painful past, Christine’s story is one of resilience and transformation. She builds a family, confronts her trauma, and achieves remarkable professional success, all while reconnecting with her Polish roots. Her writing is honest and vulnerable, offering an intimate exploration of the challenges she faced as a child, an immigrant, and a single mother.
This memoir is a testament to the power of determination, the complexities of human relationships, and the possibility of healing. Sadry’s triumphs at the United Nations and her eventual personal peace make her story both inspiring and deeply impactful. 13 Years Lost is a compelling read, celebrating the strength of the human spirit. Sadry’s writing captures her emotional journey with raw honesty. Her prose brings to life the anguish of her early years, the challenges of being a young Polish immigrant in America, and the triumph of a single mother determined to carve out a better future. The book is not only a personal testament to perseverance but also a profound exploration of the complexities of human relationships—the pain they can cause, the solace they can bring, and the strength required to navigate them. What stands out most is Christine’s ability to turn her pain into purpose. Her career at the United Nations, achieved through relentless hard work, becomes a symbol of her resilience. Her story is a testament to finding peace, success, and fulfillment despite the odds. Her relationship with her late husband adds another layer of depth, reflecting her capacity for love and connection after years of hardship.
13 Years Lost is a compelling read, both heart-wrenching and uplifting. It shines a light on the enduring strength of the human spirit, making it a must-read for anyone seeking inspiration. Sadry’s story reminds us that even in the face of unimaginable adversity, hope and determination can lead to triumph.
Pages: 235 | ASIN : B0DJS1NCXX
The Big C² – stories from the chronic side of cancer
Cancer is a pervasive reality in society, a shadow that has accompanied humanity throughout its history. It evokes profound fear, yet not all forms of cancer carry the inevitability they once did. Many types can now be treated or managed, offering paths to survival. Nevertheless, the moment a doctor utters the word “cancer,” it marks a turning point. Life as you know it shifts, often irrevocably. Ruth Fein’s The Big C²: Stories from the Chronic Side of Cancer delves into this pivotal experience, offering a powerful anthology of essays, interviews, and reflections.
This collection presents the voices of individuals living with cancer, weaving their personal journeys into a poignant tapestry of resilience, fear, and transformation. Contributions come not only from patients but also from family members and medical professionals, creating a multifaceted exploration of the disease’s impact. Together, these narratives form a living diary, documenting the raw, unfiltered emotions and insights of those touched by cancer.
The book does not shy away from the harsh realities of a cancer diagnosis. Many entries confront the darkest corners of human experience, capturing moments of despair and uncertainty. Yet, within these pages also lies a deep sense of hope. Contributors reveal an indomitable strength of spirit, their voices resonating with vitality even as their bodies endure relentless challenges.
What stands out most to me in Fein’s compilation is its testament to the necessity of unwavering support for those facing cancer. These stories emphasize that battling this illness often becomes a defining struggle, reshaping identities and lives. Even for those who survive, the journey still leaves a mark, a truth this collection conveys with stark clarity.
The Big C² celebrates courage and underscores the importance of community, compassion, and connection in confronting life’s most formidable adversities. Fein’s work is a moving reminder of the strength that endures even in the face of the unimaginable.
Pages: 136 | ASIN : B0DLPG63B9
The Truth
Ghost – A Story of Survival is a gripping and haunting true story of trauma, resilience, and the sheer power of the human spirit. How hard was it to put this story out in the world for people to read?
Difficult, it was a mental exercise I had to go through every time. I wrote a chapter to invest myself enough to apply authenticity but not go so deep down the rabbit hole that I couldn’t get out again. It was a fine balance that I made. Like an athlete, warming up for a marathon. I wrote in a way that I spoke in the present tense. Then I went to the past and back to the present again as a reminder that these events have already happened.
What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?
In my life, I was met with disbelief, reputations I had not earned, and mental illness that was not there. My family talks a lot and so I was tired of being called the liar and having false memories. I knew I wasn’t going to get restitution and that nobody was going to be held accountable. So I put it in print out into the world so the people can see corruption within our ministry, cover-ups by my family, and the three young girls who suffered for it.
How did you decide what to include and leave out in your memoir?
I left out people’s names, places, and times. But anyone who knows me who reads this book will know what I’m talking about.
What do you hope is one thing readers take away from your story?
I hope for change if it’s not already implemented. It needs to be within our ministry for family and children. I also wanted the truth out there. Instead of always fighting a reputation I had not earned. My family, to this day, continues to try to sabotage my life. I could not allow that anymore, so I put it all on paper. Everything I am is in that first book. There will be two more to follow.
Author Links: GoodReads | X (Twitter) | Amazon
This is story of nightmares. A story of fear, a story of despair and a story of survival.
A story of three young girls with one left to tell the tale.
The grit and pluck of one against the odds.
From the desperation, fear, and abuse at home, to the uncertain forest arms and back to the fire again.
Burgeoning courage couples with paralytic fear at odds with one another, she navigates blindly and any wrong could mean death.
Turn the page and join the journey…
