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Strong and Loving Connection
The Gift of Parenthood is a heartfelt and personal memoir that takes readers on an emotional journey from infertility struggles to the joys and challenges of open adoption. Why was this an important book for you to write?
It was important to share my parenthood journey. There is a stigma surrounding infertility and adoption, and society tends to shy away from these topics. By shedding light with a very personal experience, I hope to enlighten and inspire others.
What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?
Infertility is one of the most challenging things I’ve ever gone through. Being unable to have a child of your own can be devastating, but with time husband and I were able to heal and consider adoption.
Adoption has granted us the gift of parenthood and a bonus family. It’s been an unbelievable blessing for both sides.
What is a common misconception you feel people have about open adoptions?
That open adoption is unhealthy… our experience has been far from that. We put in the work to build a strong and loving connection with my son’s birth family and are respectful of each other’s needs.
What was the most challenging part of writing your memoir, and what was the most rewarding?
At first, I couldn’t figure out how to get the word out while respecting my teenage son’s wishes for privacy. But, he was comfortable with me writing under a pen name and even suggested using my phone’s memoji as my picture.
The actual writing part came naturally. Hearing how our story has touched others has been the most rewarding part.
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Emaline Ashe’s memoir shares an intimate look into her emotional journey to become a mom. A few years into their marriage, she and her husband Liam were young, healthy, and ready to have several kids.
Life had different plans in store for them when unexplained infertility hit like a ton of bricks. After many years of medical treatments, Emaline and Liam embarked on an alternate path to become parents. This new path led to an unexpected open adoption and a bonus family.
Emaline’s true story is one of hope, loss, and resilience. It captures the devastation of infertility and shows just how life-changing adoption can be for all involved.
A Personal Reckoning
Twice the Family is your poignant memoir of identity, adoption, and the unyielding bonds of sisterhood, exploring the journey of being “chosen” while searching for belonging. Why was this an important book for you to write?
For me, this book was a greater challenge than writing my debut memoir, Twice a Daughter, the five-year saga about searching for my birth parents to gather family medical history. Twice the Family rose out of readers’ requests to know more about what it was like to grow up as a twin and an adoptee. Yet, for me, the book is more than that. It is a personal reckoning.
Twice a Daughter had a specific frame or timeline. While I provided the necessary backstory, it focused on the events surrounding my adoption search. Because Twice the Family is a coming-of-age story, it has a longer timeline: twenty-seven years. It opens with the births of my twin sister and me, and our subsequent adoption, and culminates with the building of my own biological family.
Choosing the events to include in this new book and tying those moments to the desired themes of love, loss, and family was a deliberate and challenging task. Telling the story and sharing my unique perspective as a twin and adoptee within the context of our family history was a delicate balance. My goal was for the reader to understand the struggles I faced within a loving family governed by the strict rules of Catholicism. While we were soothed by love and instilled with a strong sense of belonging, our formative years were overshadowed by my parents’ infertility and drive to achieve their goal of a big Irish Catholic family. As I matured, I realized some of my parents’ goals and values did not align with mine.
How did your adoptive family’s faith shape your understanding of being “chosen” and your identity?
Some of the foundational tenets of Catholicism are love is patient, love is kind, and love heals all. Also, love your neighbor as yourself. This belief system became ingrained in my siblings and me during our formative years at school, church, and at home. Also, the struggles my parents faced in building their big, Irish Catholic family through adoption, their years of infertility, and subsequent child loss due to stillborn death and sudden illness made a lasting impression on me. It was, however, my parents deeply held religious beliefs, their unrelenting commitment to family, and the strong examples they set about honesty, perseverance, and resiliency that influenced who I am and the person I have become.
I always felt as if I held a strong place in my family. Some of that “chosen” feeling arose from the stature of being the firstborn and a twin. I strongly believe that the adoption of my twin sister, myself, and our younger brother was not what set us apart from our younger siblings––my folks’ biological children––but what strung us all together. We were individuals and my mother recognized that and used it in a cohesive way. My mother is a very inclusive person. If she thought, you were the underdog in a given situation, she became your fiercest champion. I love this trait about her; it made her a faithful and reliable mother, neighbor, and friend.
What message do you hope readers—especially adoptees—take away from your story?
Parenting, whether it comes by way of adoption or not, is not a smooth easy road to success. As parents, we make numerous mistakes, and each child takes note, adjusting their behavior to accommodate it. When it is our turn to build our own families, sometimes we are successful at not repeating the mistakes our parents made. Often though, we make different errors, and so the cycle repeats itself. The point I wanted to make in Twice the Family is that family building, then and now, is no easy road. It takes commitment, but through shared values, love, and consistent efforts, parents succeed in building character among those they call family.
Were there moments during the writing process where revisiting your story became emotionally overwhelming? How did you navigate them?
There were chapters I intended to include in the book that happened so long ago that I knew I needed help with validating facts. Because I wanted a true accounting, I consulted with my twin sister and my mother. Together we revisited those key moments. Collaborating was informative and fun, and it enabled me to craft a true story. The result was one part family history, one part memoir, and one part nostalgia for a bygone era of society. Navigating the tough scenes and events meant the writing process slowed down due to the strong emotional impact of those moments. The aftermath of getting them down, getting them right, and polishing them was both exhilarating and draining. Slowing down and honoring those moments was an important aspect of the writing process. The outcome, Twice the Family, fills me with deep pride and satisfaction.
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In this coming-of-age memoir, set in Chicago’s western suburbs between the 1960s and ’80s, adopted twins Julie and Jenny provide their parents with an instant family. Their sisterly bond holds tight as the two strive for identity, individuality, and belonging. But as Julie’s parents continue adding children to the family, some painful and tragic experiences test family values, parental relationships, and sibling bonds.
Faced with these hurdles, Julie questions everything—who she is, how she fits in, her adoption circumstances, her faith, and her idea of family. But the life her parents have constructed is not one she wants for herself—and as she matures, she recognizes how the experiences that formed her have provided her a road map for the person and mother she wants to be.
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The Gift of Parenthood: From Infertility to an Open Adoption
The Gift of Parenthood is a heartfelt and deeply personal memoir by Emaline Ashe that takes readers on an emotional journey from infertility struggles to the joys and challenges of open adoption. Ashe’s candid storytelling captures her years-long battle with infertility, her eventual decision to adopt, and the complexities of raising a child within an open adoption framework. The book serves as both a testament to resilience and a guide for those navigating similar paths.
The writing struck a perfect balance between vulnerability and humor. Ashe doesn’t shy away from exposing her raw emotions, whether she’s describing the devastation of a failed IVF treatment or the anxiety of waiting for an adoption match. One moment that stuck with me was her description of feeling of being “stranded on infertility island,” a phrase she revisits to paint the alienation and loneliness of her experience. Her honesty in recounting even the smallest victories, like the first time she and her husband Liam saw their son Aiden’s ultrasound, had me tearing up. It’s a rollercoaster of hope and heartbreak that makes you root for her every step of the way.
The way Ashe portrays the adoption process is as enlightening as it is emotional. Her account of meeting Aiden’s birth mother, Hannah, and forming a relationship based on mutual respect and love was deeply moving. One of my favorite parts of the book was when she detailed the open adoption agreement and how their blended family grew through years of mutual effort and trust. Ashe writes about the awkward early visits, the raw emotions of Hannah’s decision, and how they all found a rhythm in their relationship. It was inspiring to see how Ashe reframed the challenges of open adoption as opportunities to grow closer to Hannah and her son Dylan.
Ashe’s voice throughout the memoir is both relatable and engaging. She has a knack for making heavy topics approachable, injecting moments of humor and lightness where they’re most needed. For instance, her anecdote about Aiden’s all-nighter as a newborn brought a much-needed laugh amid heavier discussions of loss and grief.
The conclusion ties everything together beautifully. Ashe reflects on how her journey transformed her understanding of family and motherhood. Her gratitude for her son and her relationship with his birth family shines through in every sentence. I found her acknowledgment of how adoption enriches and complicates lives particularly poignant. For anyone considering adoption or grappling with infertility, this book feels like a warm, guiding hand.
I recommend The Gift of Parenthood to anyone interested in stories of resilience, parenthood, or adoption. It’s also a wonderful read for those who enjoy memoirs about the triumph of the human spirit.
Pages: 48 | ASIN : B0CW6ZVYQM
Shattered
Shattered, Inspired By True Events by Jenell M. Jones, M.ED., is a powerful memoir that delves into the author’s personal journey of accepting the unchangeable and learning to tolerate the harsh realities of life. Jones’s raw and honest account of her experiences resonates deeply with readers, making this more than just one woman’s struggle—it’s a source of inspiration for anyone facing life’s challenges. Through her story, Jones invites readers to reflect on their own paths toward peace and healing, sharing how her decision to adopt a young girl, with the hope of transforming both their lives for the better, led to an unexpected and challenging journey.
The central theme of survival and endurance is poignantly portrayed in Shattered. Jones vividly illustrates the unexpected anguish that life can bring and demonstrates remarkable strength and resilience in the face of trauma. Her journey toward healing and self-discovery is both encouraging and uplifting, leaving readers with a powerful message: if she can overcome these obstacles, so can they. The book’s emphasis on perseverance and courage makes a lasting impact, reminding us all of the importance of endurance in our own lives. Jones’s storytelling is graphic and emotionally resonant, pulling readers into her world and making them feel the weight of her struggles. She skillfully conveys the unwanted efforts and sacrifices she made in her pursuit of inner peace, creating a narrative that is both relatable and deeply moving. The systemic critique woven throughout the book is another notable element. Jones’ experiences highlight the often-ignored flaws in the child welfare system, particularly how it handles children with traumatic backgrounds. Jones’ frustration with the system is palpable, and she effectively uses her personal story to advocate for better practices and more compassionate policies. This book serves as both a memoir and a critical commentary on a system that is in desperate need of reform.
Shattered, Inspired By True Events is a gripping and authentic memoir that will resonate with anyone who has faced life’s unexpected challenges. Jones’s courage in sharing her regrets and her raw emotions is a testament to the human experience, reminding us of our shared vulnerabilities. I highly recommend this book to everyone, as we all, at some point, must navigate the unforeseen changes life throws our way.
Pages: 210 | ASIN : B0C5CPY345
Shattered
Jenell M. Jones’ Shattered is a deeply moving and eye-opening account that delves into the complexities of the foster care system through the poignant story of a young girl named Mercy. Jenell, an experienced educator with a profound love for children, is no stranger to the adoption process. When asked to take in Little Nikki, she didn’t hesitate, despite concerns about the child’s troubled past. Renaming her Mercy, Jenell and her husband embarked on a challenging journey to provide the eight-year-old with a stable and loving home. As the narrative unfolds, readers learn that Mercy was separated from her twin brother and other siblings, having cycled through as many as 20 foster homes. This tumultuous background began to manifest in her behavior, with Mercy exhibiting stubbornness, rudeness, and other troubling traits. These signs raised concerns about potential past abuse, which were later confirmed when Mercy was diagnosed with dissociative personality disorder and hospitalized.
Shattered evoked a powerful emotional response in me. The pain of watching a child you love struggle despite your best efforts is heart-wrenching. The book underscores the critical importance of a child’s foundational years and how early instability can have long-lasting, detrimental effects. Mercy’s story is a stark reminder of the failures within our society to protect its most vulnerable members. Jenell and her husband Kyle’s unwavering patience and dedication to Mercy, despite the immense challenges, highlight their remarkable resilience as parents. Mercy’s experiences reflect a broader systemic issue, where children in the foster care system are often neglected and left without the necessary support to thrive.
I sincerely hope that Mercy finds peace and healing in her future. Shattered serves as a crucial call to action, urging us to improve the foster care system to better protect and support children like Mercy. I highly recommend this book to every adult, particularly those considering adoption, as it provides valuable insights into the profound challenges and rewards of caring for a child in need.
Pages: 210 | ASIN : B0C5CPY345
Priscilla and Tux: Brothers are Caring – A Picture Book for Kids
Family unity helps instill values such as respect and mutual support. Victoria Smith embraces this idea beautifully in Priscilla and Tux: Brothers are Caring. The story centers on eight-year-old Priscilla, who is worried about her school’s show-and-tell presentations. All her classmates are showcasing interesting, original, and unique items, so she wants to share something truly special. Her mom tries to help by giving her suggestions, but nothing seems good enough for Priscilla. However, when she sees her brother Tux being friendly and telling jokes to his friends, she realizes he can help her solve her problem.
Victoria Smith shares a sweet story about an everyday situation, giving it a creative and enthusiastic touch. I appreciated how the story develops because it implicitly addresses various themes. For example, the classmates’ presentations showcase cultural and religious diversity and feature different hobbies like board games and sports. There are many great ideas for new activities for kids. The story also highlights the importance of good communication and the pleasure of being in a respectful and friendly environment.
Sergii Zavadskyi’s illustrations are captivating with their vibrant colors and varied, expressive characters. The language is clear, making it suitable for practicing reading and enriching vocabulary with the items shown in the classroom presentations. Priscilla and her brother Tux’s relationship is one of the narrative’s most beautiful features, imparting young readers with a positive example of family interaction.
Priscilla and Tux: Brothers are Caring is highly recommended, celebrating family love and the joy of sharing meaningful moments. It is an engaging and heartwarming story that not only entertains but also teaches valuable life lessons, making it a wonderful addition to any child’s bookshelf.
Pages: 34 | ASIN : B0CGQBY7Z2
Belonging Matters
Julie’s story, as chronicled in Belonging Matters, is a poignant exploration of identity and belonging from an adoptee’s perspective. Growing up aware of her adoption alongside her twin, Julie’s narrative delves into the complex emotions surrounding her upbringing in a loving adoptive family, juxtaposed with an innate curiosity about her biological roots. The book effectively conveys the challenges adoptees often face in forging connections with their adoptive relatives, capturing the subtle sense of being an outsider at family gatherings. The author skillfully guides readers through Julie’s internal journey, marked by anxiety and a quest for self-understanding brought on by the need to uncover her genetic history for health reasons. This quest leads her to her birth mother, raising questions of abandonment, the desire for connection, and the complexities of familial relationships.
This book’s candid exploration of adoption and the accompanying emotional landscape makes it particularly engaging. It sheds light on the nuances of adoption, addressing the often-overlooked stigma associated with it. The author’s openness in sharing her emotional experiences is commendable, offering readers a raw and honest perspective. Additionally, the book highlights the unique bond between Julie and her twin, adding a fascinating dimension to her journey. The author also acknowledges the role of the Catholic community in their adoption process, particularly their policy of keeping twins together, which is a thoughtful inclusion.
Belonging Matters is not just for those who have experienced adoption firsthand. It resonates with anyone who has ever felt a sense of disconnection from their family or questioned their background. The story is a testament to the power of self-discovery and the courage it takes to seek out one’s origins. Readers looking for inspiration to embark on their own journeys of self-exploration will find this book both motivating and insightful.
Pages: 227 | ASIN : B0C8W4254W
Already Home: Confronting the Trauma of Adoption
Already Home: Confronting the Trauma of Adoption by Howard Frederick Ibach presents an insightful and deeply personal exploration of the emotional complexities associated with adoption. As an adoptee, Ibach brings a unique perspective to this topic, combining his personal experiences with extensive research to offer a nuanced understanding of the psychological challenges faced by adoptees.
This book takes the reader on a journey through the intricate emotional landscape that adoption creates. Ibach’s use of personal anecdotes alongside scholarly research enriches the narrative, making it informative and highly relatable. This blend of storytelling and academic inquiry allows the book to resonate with a broad audience, including those touched by adoption and individuals looking to comprehend its profound impact. A key aspect of Already Home is the detailed exploration of the enduring effects of adoption trauma. Ibach navigates the complex themes of grief, loss, and identity with sensitivity and depth. His analysis illuminates the ongoing emotional journey of adoptees, moving beyond the initial adoption experience to spotlight the lasting implications. The book emphasizes the necessity of recognizing and addressing these emotional challenges to facilitate healing and well-being.
Ibach’s inclusion of the adoptive parents’ perspective introduces a comprehensive view of the adoption experience. He advocates for open dialogue and empathy between adoptees and their families, underscoring the need for a nurturing environment conducive to healing. While at times emotionally charged, this book is ultimately a testament to resilience and hope. Ibach’s empathetic writing style and thoughtful insights make the book an invaluable tool for adoptees, adoptive parents, and professionals in the field. It serves as a compassionate guide to understanding and navigating adoption’s intricate emotional journey.
Already Home is a profound and engaging work that delves into the multifaceted nature of adoption trauma. Ibach’s blend of personal vulnerability and scholarly research makes this a significant addition to adoption literature. It is a highly recommended read for anyone involved in or affected by adoption, offering a pathway to empathy and understanding in the complex world of adoption-related emotions.
Pages: 262 | ASIN : B0CNYJH4HC
