Caring as a Carer is the true story of George and Jenny Mailath and their battle with Jenny’s condition; MSA (Mulitple system atrophy). This book is sort of a mix between the personal story of this couple and a guidebook for those who are suffering from or caring for someone with MSA.
I absolutely love the way this book was written. In the beginning the author (George Mailath) stated that he didn’t want the book to come across as simply a guidebook or a text book. He did an amazing job of accomplishing his goal of writing a heartfelt story that contains a set of recommendations for caring for someone with MSA. I wasn’t familiar with this particular disease before reading the book, but anyone who knows anything about chronic debilitating illness knows that it doesn’t only affect the victim, but their loved ones as well. George was able to expertly convey how his wife’s condition affected his own emotional and mental state, from his desire to be truly empathetic to his feelings of guilt for not being as understanding as he should have been in the beginning. This is, of course, something that can only really be recognized in hindsight, which is part of what makes the story invaluable to readers who may be caring for someone with this illness.
I love how George gives us a brief yet detailed enough background of he and his wife’s relationship and life before being affected by MSA. It perfectly illustrates for the reader how drastically their lives were changed and the effect this change had on their emotional and physical well-being. The chapters are laid out very well, with each one having a specific intention such as “empathy”, “rehabilitation sessions”, and “facing up to reality”. The really unique aspect though, is that while these chapter titles appear to be similar to a text book format, they are filled with as many touching moments of real life as they are of recommendations for treatment. I’ve really never encountered a book with such a great balance in this area before.
George’s love for his wife is so evident throughout the book that I found myself almost brought to tears at times. However, his attitude towards her illness is also incredibly refreshing in that he simultaneously remains calm and calculated in his actions and assessments of the situation without sacrificing empathy, understanding and love. It was really an absolutely beautiful book to read. I don’t have anyone in my life suffering from a debilitating illness and I still greatly enjoyed reading it. In fact, I think it’s really superb in that the book will be beneficial to anyone caring for someone with any such disease, not necessarily just MSA. While it is certainly tailored to people dealing with MSA, the principles of care and love that George expresses can be applied to any similar scenario. I absolutely recommend this book to others and sincerely hope that it circulates widely enough to have the profound effect on caring and carers that I feel it can have.
Pages: 116 | ISBN: 1483448584
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Addicted to Hate is an engaging story that follows Madeline through many obstacles in her troubled life. What was the inspiration for the idea behind this novel?
The inspiration for this novel is the hope that I can empower other hurting, shattered souls who feel helpless and hopeless, and who are hiding beneath a veil of shame, like I did.
Madeline is a character I was able to empathize with. What were some driving ideals behind her character development?
I’m a survivor of horrendous parent abuse, and other nightmarish sufferings, imposed on me by perpetrators of hate-filled hearts. Being of rational, intelligence thinking, I tried to theorize what was happening to me, thought about the monstrosity of another person putting his or her ideas above another’s. The abuse went too far and for too long. Finally I realized I am not a pathetic victim. My epiphany sounded like this: I am a strong, dynamic person. I am sick to death of being abused, humiliated, and threatened. It is time to do something. It is time for ME to change! The turnaround – The right to say NO. The right to peace in senior age. The right to freedom. The right to my own happiness. The right to be “imperfect.”
The concept of love, family and abuse played were compelling drivers in this story. What were some themes that were important for you to capture in this story?
I’m hoping to see this book’s release sometime after summer 2019. The theme behind all five books is: Have self-respect… self-resilience, it is your right! You are not to blame for others wrongdoings. Get rid of any nasty memories stored from your hippocampus that traps the human trait of wallowing, and shred them. The saying goes: “If you want a future, don’t live in the past.”
What do you hope readers take away from your book?
An adult child should never… ever… mishandle a parent, even if he or she is convinced the mother or father deserves it. Like most survivors, I have much to teach about bravery and emotional resilience, and so I wrote Addicted to Hate. The message in this book is: “If you are an abused parent, it’s time for you to consider following in my footsteps. Please recognize that YOU are not to blame for the hard-wired brains that seek to destroy you. And never ask yourself how and why did I let this happen! Divorce yourself (the freedom to disown) from the raw pain that has been “bestowed” upon you by an unconscionable abuser. Suffering won’t kill you … death will! This relating adage is found in all my books with a profound message: “Love does not conquer hate! Even clinically trained minds cannot truly have the answer to heredity bad markers … bad seeds that exist.” This is the theme in my new book “Lela’s Endless Incarnation Sorrows.” (You live and die, and repeat.)
It’s remarkable what you can discover from a little saliva! DNA explains how we got here… over millions of years. I chose to believe that my first (Ashkenazi) imprint on this earth has a lot to do with who I am today in this century. So it begs the question” Does the Law of Karma for the sole-called sins of the forefathers and foremothers, play a roll in generational rebirths. Is it a real cold-hearted fact that some humans are just born BAD?
Maddie’s story raises the time-honored question of nature vs. nurture.
Parents abused by adult children suffer silently, shamed to the marrow by words, moods, acts, and blows that pierce through their imagined bubble of safety and kidnap any notions they had of sharing a mutually loving relationship with their children.
Maddie loved her daughters unconditionally . . . until, as a financially depleted and physically bruised senior citizen, she was forced to cut ties permanently with her adult descendants. Maddie’s cruel and dysfunctional upbringing prompted her to smother her children with love, to soften the blows of life, even when consequences would have been a healthier, more effective choice.
Posted in Interviews
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Stella Ryman and the Fairmount Manor Mysteries follows an elderly amateur sleuth as she sets out to solve the various mysteries plaguing her retirement home. What was your inspiration for the setup to this engaging novel?
Thanks for the kind words. My inspiration came while I was hanging about in a Vancouver care home, preparing to help move an enormous television set into an elderly acquaintance’s bedroom. I wondered, what if I lived here? What on earth would I do with myself? How do you wake up every day knowing that people are responsible for you, but you are responsible for nothing (there seemed to be some possibilities for rebellion here.) We all need a good reason for getting out of bed in the morning. What would that be? Watching television? Complaining about the food? I thought Stella Ryman might come up with an intriguing Third Option.
Stella is a senior with a tenacity that I enjoyed reading about. What were some themes you wanted to explore while creating her character?
I love exploring these:
- Old or young, we need to serve the world somehow.
- Almost everything is funny from some angle, and nothing is ever quite what it seems.
- No life is over until the final breath passes (and maybe not even then, see Mad Cassandra Browning.)
- Even in dire circumstances, there are always new chances at happiness.
- Without connection to others, we’re all just bundles of cells in fleece warm-up suits.
I enjoyed the logical mysteries portrayed in the novel, they were always intriguing yet intuitive. What was the process like in developing the different mysteries in the book?
I’m glad you enjoyed them—they were fun to write. I wanted to explore ways Stella struggles to regain the symbols of power that she discarded from her world when she checked herself into Fairmount Manor Care Home: a handbag on her wrist, a best friend, freedom to walk outside if she likes, or fix herself a cup of tea, or enjoy solitude, and above all the power to help others and right wrongs. All the mysteries turn on these.
What is the next book that you are working on and when will it be available?
The Extra: A Monument Studios Mystery, is next, in second edition on Amazon in April 2018 and, writing as Melanie Archer, Younger Men. a comedy, also on Amazon in April 2018. The second Fairmount Manor Mystery novel, Stella Ryman and the Mystery of the Mah-jongg Box, comes out this fall from Pulp Literature Press, along with the seventh of the Hertfordshire Pub Mysteries, published in Pulp Literature’s literary quarterly.
On this particular sun-and-shade April morning at Fairmount Manor, Stella Ryman no more entertained the idea of becoming an amateur sleuth than she did of entering next spring’s Boston Marathon. For not only was Stella eighty-two years old, but she had lately sold her home and a lifetime of gathered possessions and washed up at Fairmount Manor Care Home in such a state that she would have bet her remaining seven pairs of socks that she’d be dead in half a year.
But when money goes missing and an innocent woman stands to lose her job at Fairmount; when malicious poison pen letters find their way into the hands of staff and residents; and when a resident vanishes without a trace, Stella takes matters into her own hands. To hell with being elderly — Stella will break every one of the Director’s rules and slash all the institutional red tape in the place in her struggle to solve mysteries and protect the innocent. Over the course of the first five mystery adventures, Mrs Stella Ryman transforms from a woman on her deathbed to a force of nature and intellect. She’s a fish out of water, a stranger in a strange land, and an amateur sleuth trapped in a down-at-the-heels care home.
You’d be cranky, too.
Posted in Interviews
Tags: alibris, author, author life, authors, barnes and noble, book, book club, book geek, book lover, bookaholic, bookbaby, bookblogger, bookbub, bookhaul, bookhub, bookish, bookreads, books of instagram, booksbooksbooks, bookshelf, bookstagram, bookstagramer, bookwitty, bookworks, bookworm, detective, ebook, elderly, fun, funny, goodreads, humor, ilovebooks, indiebooks, kindle, kobo, literature, mel anastasiou, mystey, nook, novel, publishing, pulp literature press, read, reader, reading, retirement, senior, shelfari, sleuth, smashwords, Stella Ryman and the Fairmount Manor Mysteries, story, suspense, thriller, women, writer, writer community, writing